FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES



               The ruling passion, be it what it will,

               the ruling passion conquers reason still.



                                        ---  Alexander Pope



               Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry,

               Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.



                                        --- Shakespeare



               Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest

               man, and renders the greatest fools clever.



                                        --- La Rouchefoucauld



               She weaves the winding-sheets of souls, and lays

               them in the urn of everlasting death.



                                        --- Pollok











----------------------------------------------------------------------



      This guide should not be used by anyone that the GM feels is

   either to young, to immature, or not a good enough role-player to

                   handle the topics presented here.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------



                           COPYRIGHT (C) 1996



     All trademarks of products, company names, logos, phrases, service

names, and/or slogans are trademarks of the respective companies,

artists, and/or individuals, where applicable.



     The following guide is the property of its authors, who hereby

states that they retain the copyright except for where noted. You may

distribute it at will, provided that nothing in the guide, this notice,

or any of the credits are altered in any way; and that you do not make

a profit from it.



     This document is not for sale and is made available for private

game use only.



                           *** DISCLAIMER ***



     All contents of this guide are presented for game purposes only.

Advice oriented information is not to be taken as legal consultation or

legal service, but as suggestions and examples of real-world or

hypothetical models. Always consult a lawyer for legal and lawful

guidance. The opinions and views contained in this guide reflect those

of the individual authors. The opinions, content, and organization of

this document are in no way connected with the faculty and staff of any

educational institute where this guide was found.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                           TABLE OF CONTENTS





Initial Reactions To This Guide

Preface

Guide Game Mechanics

The Wild-Thing Rules

Inter-Species Fertility

Conception: What are the odds?

Pregnancy In A RPG?

When Does The Stork Come?

Spells For The Mother

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

On The Subject Of A Shapechanging Mother And Child

The Baby is Here! What Ya' Got?

Sexual Tendency

The Bitch Rule

The Rack Critical Hit Chart: For Men Only

Seduction: More Than Reaction Rolls

Seduction For The Professional

Non-Weapon Skills

Sexualis Morbus (Sexual Diseases)

Sexual Insanity?

On Sex And Sexuality In The Realms

Spells With Zip

Clerics Would Use These Spells?

A Bard's Sexual Spell-Songs

Sexual Psionic Powers

Magic Items Your Mom Wouldn't Approve Of

Cupid's Chaotic Arrows

Protection Of The Worst Kind (For The Male)

Houri: Wizard Sub-Class

Seducer: Wizard Sub-Class

Seductress: Rogue Sub-Class

Psiducer: Psionicist Sub-Class

"I'm Just A Gigolo..." Gigolo: Bard Sub-Class

Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator)

Filling The House Of Ill Repute

Case: The Blue Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure)

Encounter Non-Player Characters

Porno Periodicals Of Humanoids

Sexist Quotes

Other Tidbits

An Abyss Level

Adventuring Ideas

ESSAY: What If A Character Rapes A NPC?

ESSAY: Has Anyone Played A Homosexual Character?

Plots For Homosexual Characters

A Few Good Stories

Special Thanks

The INTERET Controversy Of The Guide





                                                  LAST UPDATE: 01/01/96

-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                    INITIAL REACTIONS TO THIS GUIDE





"I think that saying 'my campaign has no place for sex because my

players satisfy their sexual needs elsewhere' is roughly the same as

boasting that your campaign has no place for the green color, because

when your players want to see green, they go and look at your petunias.

Our lives and our characters' lives are different things altogether."



                                                  --- Luwain



"The sex guide is interesting to say the least."



"...it's a pretty handy guide to have really."



                                                  --- Matt



"The people in my group love the guide!!!"



"Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a

 wight lich !!!"



                                                  --- Larry



"...let me intrude to tell you that my wife and I really like

 what you have come up with."



"We both have rather chaotic sensual souls as characters."



                                                  --- Morgan Blackheart



"It certainly has some interesting ideas in there."



"My friend, who is GM'ing this rather, umm, slutty city, has made good

usage from it..."



                                                  --- Steve



"There where nice ideas."               "Great Idea & Fun!"



"...it looks GREAT !!!"                 "It looks good & Fun."



                                                  --- Vinnie



"Well, I've read over the pages and it looks GREAT!"



                                                  --- Mike



"It takes perversion to a higher level."



                                                  --- Brian



"I...found it quite enjoyable and reasonable for application to RPGs."



"The guide is really good -- I am very impressed with the work..."



                                                  --- Jason



"I have looked it over gleefully..."



                                                  --- Lonadar



"It looks great! We've been pondering the problems of pregnancy...It

looks as if your manual will take care of that and lots lots lots

more."



                                                  --- Lisamarie Babik



"I also wanted to tell you that your compilation of sex in RPG rules

was hilariously funny and extremely FUN."



                                                  --- Adam



 "...really wild! I really enjoyed the humor and couldn't resist in

printing a copy for myself."



"The sex guide did have its moments..."



"I am looking forward in hearing from you again."



                                                  --- The Mage (Nancy)



"Reading your guide was real fun and I think using it will be even more

fun."



                                                  --- Mike



"I enjoyed your guide, and it will certainly add some spice to my next

campaign."



                                                  --- Mike W.



"I just wanted to commend you for the guide... It was great... the

imagination of everyone involved was excellent."



                                                  --- J.J.



"Fascinating guide you have here."



"You and others have obviously spent a lot of time and effort bringing

it to its present incarnation."



"I am most impressed, and can't wait to pore over it in more detail."



                                                  --- Corwin



"Interesting and amusing."



                                                  --- David



"I found it really amusing, and while I'm not sure if I will use its

materials in my games I find it is really inspiring..."



                                                  --- Roberto Di Meglio



"Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I just looked over the Sex Guide and

I must say: FANTASTIC!!!   GREAT!!!   SUPERB!!!!"



                                                  --- Alexander



"Excellent work, and thorough."



                                                  --- Scott



"I read you guide... Its very good!!! Thanks a lot."



                                                  --- Carlos



"Thank you very much! From the short look I had at the guide just now

it looks good and useful. Always nice to see something both amusing and

functional."



                                                  --- Rhonda



"...by the way I am greatly impressed -- it will help out with my GMing

immensely."



                                                  --- Sasha



"I just wanted to write and tell you I loved it..."



"It was amazing."



"I didn't realize how much you could actually put into SEX in RPGs."



"I plan to be starting an RPG world soon, and I hope to use it."



"Thank you very much, and once again, I think you have done a marvelous

job!"



                                                  --- James



"Most Excellent!"



                                                  --- Joe



"I really really enjoy the guide to sex!"



"I think it is the funniest thing I have read in a long time."



"Bravo, good job, two thumbs up."



                                                  --- Thomas Forlorn



"I enjoyed the Guide to Sex. It was worth many a hearty guffaw."



                                                  --- Robin



"You did an excellent job on it."



                                                  --- Rich



"I found the Sex Guide rather humorous."



"I don't know if my GM is going to use it but I might find some of the

stuff useful, if not entertaining for other players."



                                                  --- Eric



"I appreciate you work and thank you for it."



"I use a German role-playing system here. So of course I have to redo

the game-specific things. However, this document is a great collection

of ideas and I'm going to use a lot of it."



                                                  --- Donald



"I wrote to say THANKS A LOT FOR WRITING/COMPILING/EDITING the guide."



"...it's just wonderful, funny to read, useful and well written."



"Again, thanks a lot for the guide... just GREAT."



                                                  --- Jarmas



"Thank you for the info in the Sex Guide. It has already proved

helpful, because of the pregnancy of one of the elves, the rest of the

female characters are mellowing out on the drinking/sex everytime we

enter a town. The males are also chilling out, I think they know that

they are running a chance for disease now."



                                                  --- Arden



"The Complete Guide to Sex has become my GM's guide."



                                                  --- Callen



"I got the Sex Guide, a friend sent me a copy. I shrugged it off as

perverted :) But then scanned through it anyway. My apologies, it is

not at all what I expected!"



"I am taking my PC's through the realms for a while, then plan to whisk

them off to Raven for a laugh. You have given me some great ideas to

throw at my poor PC's :)"



                                                  --- Deanna



"I must say that your guide is great! When I showed it to my players

they loved it so much that we will start an adventure inspired by it."



                                                  --- Roberto



"This is very interesting and funny to relax with in a game! But all my

party wants to know when you will complete them!!"



                                                  --- The Unnamed



"I've been reading your wonderful Guide to Sex, and I found it great!"



                                                  --- Javier



"It was so excellent I had to take it home to read because I would of

interrupted the whole computer center with my laughter. My group also

loves it, we intend to play a modified game using your rules."



                                                  --- Fred



"I just wanted to say that your book is probably the funniest thing

I've ever seen written for RPGs."



                                                  --- Stephen



"It started out as a small simple project, but it splooged into a

massive document of infinite knowledge."



"Who'd a thought anybody would show an interest."



                                                  --- Guide Creator



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                                PREFACE





     Most everybody has had a character come in contact with a person

of the opposite sex, but the encounter was nothing more than the brief

statement: "I'll have sex with the fair lass and leave". This leaves

out a lot of exciting role playing that can turn into a lot of

humorous anecdotes. What if one of the involved people can't "perform"?

What about getting a disease? Getting pregnant? Spells? Magic-Items?

Classes? But where could a player find a could source of information?

     On a RPG discussion list (an electronic mail forum for RPGs), a

person posted rules for characters to have sex. I though that this was

quite clever and a little demented. Well, just having a few sex rules

didn't seem to useful except for its comic appeal so I made some

diseases and insanities to make it more interesting. I thought I had a

pretty nice guide so I requested some help on the list for people to

look it over. Well, this caused quite a stir and I realized that the

guide was very incomplete as suggestions for more sections started

pouring in. Well, over a few months ideas, comments, criticisms, and

additions kept coming. I even established a small mailing list to

correspond to these people. By far the best thing to come out of this

guide was the useful information on pregnancy which was much needed for

most RPGs.

     I saw some successful guides created by another list member, so I

asked if I could mimic his organizational style and other key elements

like the title, copyright, preface, quoting, etc.. We are both hoping

that this style will be used in other works to bring some type of unity

to all net-guides. Eventually, this final product was reached.

     This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any

campaign. The key is funny. One objective was to try and keep it light

and fun. Although some things may be considered perverse, it was

created in an jocular fashion. The intent isn't to offend or disgust it

is only to enhance the game. This guide is so extensive that there

should be something for everybody. And if not, then you can just throw

it away (it's not like you had to pay for it or something). I'm sure

that companies have plans to publish there own guide .

     For the most part, the information enclosed will have been

play-tested and in a workable form. In others, you may have to make

further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign.

     This material is the fruit of labor from a few great people of the

Internet. Although some material is my own, it is not all my own.  Most

of the material was submitted from others, and I merely edited it.

Also, many people inspired much of the guide.  Plus, they made a

considerable amount of suggestions, comments, and criticisms.

Acknowledgment to these people is given in the Special Thanks section

of this guide.

     I prefer that this guide is not mass distributed. This is a very

extensive supplement that few deserve. Most criticized, mocked, and

scorned me and my comrades while creating it. Only people who are

helpful, creative, and appreciative deserve to view this guide.

Therefore, be wise and selective when distributing it and don't give it

to every Tom, Dick, and Conan.

     For those that do receive this guide, I ask that the material is

unchanged. Of course I can't really stop anybody from doing what they

want. I just ask that you respect those who made this guide possible

because I'm sure that they will continue to make great material for

RPGs.



                                             The Guide Creator



P.S.



     Much criticism has been aimed at this guide because of its topics.

Some feel that characters are forced to roll instead of role-play. Some

feel that its contradictory to increase role-playing by adding more

tables.

     I don't think that some rules hamper role-playing. A lot of

players don't like bad things to happen to their characters and will

prevent these things to happen. Having the rules allows the GM to

ensure that the character suffers, but fairly. Of course the player

must still role-play, but now he will know what abilities are effected.

On the same note, I find that tables give the characters something to

work with instead of just saying something is happening. The character

still must role-play. It just helps to give the players some direction.

Being free to let a character do anything in the name of role-playing

isn't right. RPGs have many rules and to criticize rules that others

make isn't fair. Why not criticize the combat system, spell casting,

and such? You could say that the limitations put on spells

hampers role-playing. Why not let characters flourish with dramatic

spell-use that isn't encumbered with rules? My point is that some rules

are to much, but using certain ones that you like at the right time

will enhance role-playing by giving players something to work with.

     However, I do feel that some rules are encumbersome. I didn't care

for the sex rules in this guide and haven't used them, but some people

do and that is fine. The conception rules I feel are useful because

characters find out if they are pregnant randomly (for females) without

the GM deciding. Because when the GM decides, the character assumes

(with good reason) that the pregnancy occurred for some dastardly plot

reason.

     There are many types of players around, some like rules others

don't. I just put everything in my guides based on what people ask for.

I don't limit the guide to just what I want. I just don't use what I

like. I make available what people want and suggest.

     I would like to quote a friend, Morgan, who seems to say it all

about people's complaints:



     "I think all those that complain that guides are too strict or

     difficult to roll are a wee too steeped in the judicial side of

     the game, i.e. following the rules to the letter. I suppose

     someone ought to mention that what you're doing is creating guides

     for those who want to have a bit more realism in certain

     situations, not creating rules that MUST be played. In general,

     I've found a lot of useful ideas contained in your guides which

     can be used or abused to make my games more enjoyable. Thanks for

     collecting all of this stuff."







                          GUIDE GAME MECHANICS





     The rules presented are intended for any RPG. Because of the

variance between games, the mechanics used in this guide are explained

here.





     The guide uses eight attributes for a character. These attributes

are as followed:



     Physical Strength - physical power.



     Intelligence - knowledge and wit.



     Wisdom - judgement and common sense.



     Constitution - heartiness and "spirit".



     Charisma - allure, charm, and leadership.



     Dexterity - prowess and quickness.



     Luck - fortune and fate.



     Attractiveness - comeliness and physical looks.



Number references to attributes use the 3 to 18 scale which is common

among RPGs. Some RPGs use a percentile scale for attributes, if this is

desired merely multiple the number listed by 5.56 to get the

percentage.





     Most systems have some system for characters to get out or save

themselves from dangerous situations. Systems vary but the following

categories are used here:



     paralyzation, poison, death magic, demon/deity power and other

     really nasty stuff.



     rod, staff, wand, and other powerful magic-items (no artifacts).



     petrifaction, polymorph, and other magics that severely alter the

     body.



     breath weapon and other powerful natural attacks.



     spells, and other common magical effects.





     Spell levels are only provide as a measure for the spells in this

guide. The spell levels don't represent spell levels of any given RPG

system. Compare the power of the spells presented in this guide with

the level of spells in your game system and adjust the level

accordingly.





     A sub-class is a standard class that provides more specific

detail. The sub-class sections have the following info:



     Introduction/Description/Role - Information.



     Qualifications - Requirements.



     Specialty - Another name for the class.



     Preferred Schools/Barred Schools - For clerics and mages, these

     are the magic schools. There are a variety of schools in many

     systems so the most popular ones are used here. Schools are

     necromancy, alteration, enchantment, invocation, evocation,

     conjuring/summoning/thaumaturgy, illusion, deviation, abjuration.



     Chosen Disciplines/Sciences/Devotions - Most psionics in RPGs are

     broken down into a hierarchy of powers. In this guide devotions

     are the powers at the bottom.



     Secondary Skills - Other abilities.



     Weapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for weapons.



     Nonweapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for non-weapon

     abilities.



     Equipment - Suggested and banned equipment.



     Special Benefits/Special Hindrances - The mechanics that make the

     sub-class.



     Wealth Options - Monetary information.



     Races - Races allowed.



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                          THE WILD-THING RULES



                     (There's one in every bunch!)





     NOTE: These rules are not necessarily suppose to be taking

seriously. If anything, they are provided for your amusement. It seems

people will make rules for anything. Before throwing this guide a way

because of this section, you might want to read the whole guide and

then only throw out sections like this one. And if you keep sections

like this one, you may want to seek counseling :)



     There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he/she wants to

engage in the act of sex. Unfortunately, most RPG rule books avoid the

subject for obvious reasons. A player rolls dice from pottery to

dancing, so why not sex.



     At first glance, it may seem that a character can have sex for

quite a long time. This is true for player characters. They have

superior attributes and thus can perform better (that's why they're

great adventurers). However, an average character would have attributes

between 9-12. Using the below rules, an average character (10 or 11 in

all attributes) could go a minimum of 10 or 11 minutes (rounds) and

might be able to go an additional 10 or 11 minutes if very, very luck

(dice deities willing, but don't bet on it).

     Some GMs may feel that certain races should be more adept at sex

than others. Many arguments can be made for every race. The one race

that most people feel should have modifiers is the dwarf race. However,

since theses rules are based on constitution and since initial

character generation gives bonus or penalties to Constitution (dwarves

get +1), it is not necessary to give additional modifiers to race.



     The following is the steps to go through to see if a character can

continue having sex:



1)  A character can initially last a minimum of rounds equal to his/her

Constitution with certain modifiers. Table 1 lists modifiers to

Constitution by dexterity (remember: it's how you use it). Table 2

lists modifiers to Constitution by strength (gotta be able to keep up).

Table 3 lists modifiers to Constitution by the partner's Charisma

(charismatic partners really enhance sex, even if their Attractiveness

isn't high). If he/she wishes to continue, then he/she must make

Constitution checks (Step 2).



2)  After the initial rounds pass, the character must make a

Constitution check for each round he/she wishes to continue. Modifiers

to this check are from Table 1 and Table 2 And Table 3, plus cumulative

modifier of -1. The character also needs to make a time to climax (TTC)

check. A 1 on a 1d6 for males and a 1 on a 1d10 for women indicates

such an occurrence. An additional TTC roll is made and a result of 1

indicates multiple orgasms (keep rolling while 1s come up). Of course,

males could have trouble continuing after this, but the player can make

such decisions.



3)  A failed check means the character lost interest for whatever

reason.



NOTE: In most cases it take two to tango, so remember to keep track of

all participates.





Table 1: Dexterity Modifier



A. Score   Modifier

 03-05        -4   <-- not much fun

 06-08        -2

 09-12         0

 13-15        +2

 16-18        +4   <-- someone could get hurt





Table 2: Strength Modifier



A. Score   Modifier

 03-05        -4   <-- wears out easily

 06-08        -2

 09-12         0

 13-15        +2

 16-18        +4   <-- nasty





Table 3: Partner's Charisma Modifier



A. Score   Modifier

 03-05        -4

 06-08        -2

 09-12         0

 13-15        +2

 16-18        +4



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                        INTER-SPECIES FERTILITY





     Amongst races, there are four varying breeding relationships

listed in Table A.





TABLE A: Relationships



Relationship   Example

Identical      human vs. human

Similar        human vs. elf, human vs. halfling

Related        human/horse vs. centaur, human/elf vs. half-elf

Different      human vs. eagle, human vs. horse





     Whether or not two individuals can produce offspring depends on

the relationship and conditions given in Table B.





TABLE B: Relationships Based on Conditions



Relationship: Identical

Additional Requir.: None

Chance of Fertility: As normal

Result: As per race



Relationship: Similar

Additional Requir.: None

Chance of Fertility: As the lesser fertile of the two races

Result: Half breed



Relationship: Related

Additional Requir.: None

Chance of Fertility: As the lesser fertile of the two races

Result: Produce pure breed of the race the size of the female (see

        below)



Relationship: Different

Additional Requir.: Magical or divine intervention

Chance of Fertility: 0% (without intervention) or 100% (with)

Result: Produce a new race that may be fertile and breed true





     Size (of the creature you filthy minded churl) may play a part in

some crossbreeds. For example, in human/horse/centaur pairings. The

result depends, in part, on the physical size of the parents. Consult

Table C.





TABLE C: Size



Relationship   Race of Father   Race of Mother   Race of child

Similar        Human (Elf)      Elf (Human)      Half-elf

Related        Human (Half-elf) Half-elf (Human) Human or Half-elf

Related        Elf (Half-elf)   Half-elf (Elf)   Elf or Half-elf

Different      Human            Horse            Centaur (with interv.)

Different      Horse            Human            None (or a dead woman)

Related        Human (Centaur)  Centaur (Human)  Human

Related        Horse (Centaur)  Centaur (Horse)  Horse





     There is one interesting exception, humans and halflings. While

they are fertile with each other, such a pairing will only produce one

or the other race. This may be because they are so similar that there

can be no half breed race. Consult Table Cb.





TABLE Cb: Halfling-Human Size



Relationship   Race of Father   Race of Mother   Race of child

Similar        Human            Halfling         Halfling

Similar        Halfling         Human            Halfling or Human





      For some specific races, the relationships are given on Table D.





TABLE D: Specific Races



Race      Relationship    Examples

Centaur   Similar         None

          Related         Horse, Human.

          Different       Most other races

Elf       Identical       Elf (all varieties)

          Similar         Human

          Related         Drider

          Different       Most other races

Half-elf  Similar         None

          Related         Elf, Human

          Different       Most other races

Human     Similar         Elf, Halfling, Ogre, Orc (and variations)

          Related         Centaur, Half-elf, Half-orc, Minotaur, Satyr

          Different       Most other races





     On the specific case of and elf and a centaur use the following

suggested rules:



     - Elves and centaurs relate as "different", therefore there is no

fertility without intervention.



     - Elves are "similar" to humans who are "related" to centaurs, but

this two part relationship still translates into "different".





     These rules are not complete but hopefully gives the GM a good

base to develop specific rules for inter-species breeding.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                     CONCEPTION: WHAT ARE THE ODDS?





     Sure characters screw around, but it never seems like they get

anybody pregnant or get pregnant themselves unless on a whim of the GM.

UNTIL NOW! Below is a very simple system to make the decision fairly.

     To start, get the base chance for each character (Table 1) that

participated in sex and add the appropriate Constitution modifiers

(Table 2). Then roll percentile dice for each person. A successful roll

indicates fertility. If both are fertile than conception has occurred.

Of course, this assumes that both characters are of compatible race and

are at age where conception can occur (GM's judgment), and it is the

female's fertile time of the month. Some GM's may allow all races to

reproduce offspring. Other GMs may limit which races can breed

together. This decision should remain that of individual GMs, but

suggestions are given in the previous section.





Table 1: Base Chance



         Base

Race    Chance

Dwarf     22%

Elf       13%

Gnome     20%

Half-Elf  54%

Halfling  50%

Human     77%



NOTE: The maximum age for each race was divided by 100. This number was

divided into 100% to get the base chance (fractions rounded). This

gives an accurate representation of how fertile an overall race is. If

a GM wishes to add more races, all that would be needed is the maximum

age of that race.





Table 2: Constitution modifiers



A. Score   Modifier

 03-05        -6%

 06-08        -4%

 09-10        -2%

 11-12        +2%

 13-15        +4%

 16-18        +6%





PROTECTION FROM PREGNANCY



     The base chance can be reduced by half if the popular technique of

coitus interruptus (pulling out by the male). The male must make an

ability check against (Wisdom+Dexterity)/2 where Wisdom is the

willpower required to stop the fun when it gets better and Dexterity is

the quickness to accomplish the mission. Only if the check is made will

the chance be reduced (even if successful there is always the chance of

pregnancy).

     Natural condoms made of various materials could be commonly used.

These include condoms made with vegetable fibers or animal tissue which

would be quite rare and expense (around 10 silver pieces). Such condoms

would only be effective in preventing pregnancy 25% of the time.

Another option would be to lower the chance of pregnancy by 75%.





AGE



     Some may argue that age should play an important role in

fertility, but age isn't represented in these rules. However,

Constitution plays a role in fertility and Constitution is used here. A

character's Constitution fluctuates because of age in most RPGs. Thus,

age is taken into consideration because of Constitution changes due to

age. To make any more modifiers would be double jeopardy.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                          PREGNANCY IN A RPG?





                          -------------------





                          LENGTH OF PREGNANCY





     With mammals, gestation period is usually dependent on size.

Instead of making things complicated, size is not dependant on

gestation in these rules but rather maximum age. This will be explained

after Table 1.

     Table 1 lists the length of pregnancy for each race. Also, it

lists the duration of each stage of the pregnancy. The length of each

stage is given as well. Half-elf pregnancies could last as long as 24

months or as little as 9 months depending on how much human or elf the

unborn child is. The number given is for GMs who don't want to bother

with complicated inter-racial percentages.





TABLE 1: Pregnancy



               Total Length     Duration of

Race           of Pregnancy     Each Stage

Elf             24 months       2 months 20 days

Gnome           16 months       1 months 24 days

Dwarf           15 months       1 months 20 days

Halfling         7 months       0 months 24 days

Human            9 months       1 month   0 days

Half-Elf        12 months       1 months 10 days





     NOTE: The length of pregnancy was derived from the assumption that

an elf's pregnancy lasts 24 months and that the elves life span is 750

years. 750 divided by 24 yields the number 31.25. 31.25 was then

divided into the life spans of all races to get the length of pregnancy

with the exception of humans. Since human pregnancy in an RPG can have

real-world basis, the length is given as 9 months. 14.44 (derived from

dividing 130 by 9) could have been used rather than 31.25 but the 31.25

is based on the fantasy elf race and so that number was used for the

other fantasy races. GMs may alter the list as they wish.





                            TWINS OR BETTER





     For those GM's who want to add a little spice to the pregnancy,

Table 1b gives the chance of more than one child being born based on

race. For example, a human has a 1 in 10 chance of having twins while a

dwarf has a 1 in 100,000 chance of having twins. This can also be

interrupted as 1 in 10 humans having twin sibling while 1 in 100,000

dwarfs have a twin sibling.

     These chances are only suggestions and GMs may adjust the table as

he sees fit for his campaign.





TABLE 1b: Chance of more than one child



Race            Twin        Trip        Quad        Quint        Sex

Human             10          100      1,000       10,000    100,000

Halfling         100        1,000     10,000      100,000  1,000,000

Half-Elf         500        5,000      5,000       50,000    500,000

Elf            1,000       10,000    100,000    1,000,000        n/a

Gnome         10,000      100,000  1,000,000          n/a        n/a

Dwarf        100,000    1,000,000        n/a          n/a        n/a





                          STAGES OF PREGNANCY





     Each stage of pregnancy is listed below with the effects that the

pregnant character will suffer. Refer to the effects section for

specifics. Elf pregnancies are quite nice and comfortable. Therefore,

GMs may forgo certain unpleasant effects for pregnant elves.





1st Stage



     - Check for mood swings at 55% chance.

     - Check for morning sickness (20%).

     - Lower constitution by 1 because of increased fatigue.



2nd Stage



     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 65% chance.

     - Check for morning sickness (25%).

     - Lower constitution by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to

       constitution because of increased fatigue.

     - Increase in urination output.



3rd Stage



     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 75% chance.

     - Check for morning sickness (30%).

     - Danger during spell-casting.

     - Increase in urination output.



4th Stage



     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance.

     - Check for morning sickness (10%).

     - Noticeable weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race.

     - Food cravings: Friends may be sent on wild treks to find exotic

       food to curb the pregnant women's cravings.

     - Lower dexterity by 1 due to loss of agility.

     - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer a -5%.

     - +5% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.



5th Stage



     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance.

     - Check for morning sickness (05%).

     - Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race.

     - Food cravings.

     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to

       dexterity because of lack of agility.

     - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an additional -5%.

     - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.



6th Stage



     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 25% chance.

     - Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race. Adjustment to

       armor size is likely and probably expensive.

     - Food cravings.

     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -3 to

       dexterity because of lack of agility.

     - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an added -1d10%.

     - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.



7th Stage



     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance.

     - Check for backache.

     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -4 to

       dexterity because of lack of agility.

     - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times.

     - +1d6+6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of

       concentration.



8th Stage



     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance.

     - Check for backache.

     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -5 to

       dexterity because of lack of agility.

     - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times.

     - +2d6+3% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of

       concentration.





9th Stage



     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 55% chance.

     - Check for backache.

     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -6 to

       dexterity because of lack of agility.

     - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times.

     - +3d6+2% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of

       concentration.

     - Develops nesting habits (i.e. desire to make a warm, cozy home

       and prefer not to go anywhere).





                                EFFECTS





BACKACHE



     The formula to check for backache is as followed: 50% - (Strength

+ Constitution) + 5 for every previous stage of backache. The backache

lasts for 2d4 days. If a woman has a backache, she is in great pain.

She should get rest and not engage in strenuous activity. If she

decides to, the GM may want to impose a 1d4 hit point loss for every

turn of strenuous activity to simulate the agony.

     Usually in the last three stages of pregnancy, backache is

constant, so GMs may wish this upon the character. GMs may desire to

make a temporarily (until pregnancy is over) drastic reduction of hit

points to simulate the constant agony of the woman.





MOOD SWINGS (THE BITCH RULE)



The following are the steps to develop a moody female:



     - The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for

       an attitude.



     - The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually

       stressful (i.e. after melee, during an argument, etc.).



     - Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex. other

       player characters) may request a reroll once per day. Only one

       reroll may happen each day. The reroll represents people who

       influence the female thereby changing her moods (for better or

       for worse).



     - For a roll of 6 on Table 2, roll 1d6 again. A 1 indicates

       an obsessive behavior. Thus, she becomes obsessive about

       whatever the party is doing at the moment to the point of not

       letting anyone or thing in her way of trying to accomplish her

       goal.





TABLE 2: Moods & Attitudes



Die

Roll      Moods & Attitudes

 1        happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly

 2        self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic

 3        pissed off, vengeful, cruel

 4        depressed, sullen, feeling inadequate

 5        depressed. brooding, pessimistic

 6        restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with

          things, roll 1d6 for obsession check





     Needless to say, running a character with all of these different

attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to

roll play to a maximum.





MORNING SICKNESS



     Roll d% on Table 3 to get the level of morning sickness. If the

woman continues to have morning sickness from a previous stage, then an

additional rule on the table isn't necessary.

     Mild morning sickness consists of 1 to 2 hours of nausea a day.

Moderate morning sickness lasts 1d4 hours a day after which check for 1

to 2 hours of nausea with-1 penalty.  Chronic morning sickness lasts

2d4 hours a day after which check for 1d4 hours of nausea with -2

penalty.





TABLE 3: Level Of Morning Sickness



Die

Roll      Level        How Long

01-60     None         n/a

61-80     Mild         3 stages

81-98     Moderate     5 stages

99-00     Chronic      9 stages





NAUSEA



     A character has nausea if a constitution ability check is failed.

A person with nausea feels like vomiting. The character has difficulty

concentrating and therefore has a -05% chance of spell failure for

every hour of nausea. Furthermore, she suffers a -1 to dexterity and

strength for the duration of nausea.





                CHARISMA, ATTRACTIVENESS, AND PREGNANCY





     Some feel that there should be a charisma penalty imposed to a

pregnant character. Supposedly, pregnant women find themselves fat,

ugly, and undesirable. Thus, they don't give of an aura of coolness,

magnetism, leadership, and determination. Not to many will follow a

moody, weak woman. This "ugly" state would also be reflected in

attractiveness.

     Others feel that a pregnant character should get a bonus to

charisma. Supposedly, pregnant women "glow with motherhood". Being

pregnant is the essence of womanhood and many males find this

attractive. In fact, a pregnant woman can get people to wait on her

beckon call because she seems so helpless. This "natural beauty" can be

reflected in attractiveness.

     Given these completely different views. A GM should make charisma

adjustments based on the individual views of those that the pregnant

character meets. Thus, one NPC may find her attractive and thus she

gains a bonus to attractiveness and charisma. On the other hand, an NPC

can find her repulsive and thus she suffers a penalty to attractiveness

and charisma.





                  DANGEROUS EFFECTS ON A UNBORN CHILD





SPELL-CASTING



     A pregnant mage or cleric can cause weird things to happen to an

unborn child if she casts spells after the 2nd stage of pregnancy.

Magic is the ability to shape, control, harness, and utilize natural

forces that infuse the world and surround the character. When a mage or

cleric uses her magic ability, this force can influence the development

of an unborn child.

     Every time a mage or cleric casts a spell after the 2nd stage of

pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to the spell level that an

effect has occurred.

     For example, Roxanne The Mage is in her 3 stage of pregnancy. She

casts a 2nd level spell. There is a 2% that the unborn child is

effected. The player rolls a 25 on the percentile dice and thus nothing

happens to the unborn. Then, Roxanne casts a 3rd level spell. Now there

is a 5% (2+3) chance of the unborn child to be effected. But the

percentile dice show a 56 and the child is safe.





PSIONICS



     A psionicist shapes, controls, harnesses, and utilizes natural

forces that infuse her own being. The essence of a psionicist is mind

and body. Since the unborn is in the body, psionic powers that are

manifested can greatly effect the unborn child.

     For every psionic strength point (PSP) used by the psionicist

after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to

the number of expended PSPs that an effect has occurred.





EXTRAPLANAR TRAVEL



     Each time a pregnant character travels to another plane after the

2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance that an effect has

occurred.

     Going to the elemental planes gives a cumulative 5% chance of an

effect occurring.

     Going to the ethereal plane gives a cumulative 25% chance that an

effect has occurred.

     Going to the astral plane gives a cumulative 50% chance that an

effect has occurred because of the strain.

     The effects of going to the outer planes is relative to alignment.

For each difference in alignment there is a cumulative 2% chance that

an effect has occurred. Thus, a lawful good character visiting a

chaotic evil outer plane will give the unborn child a 12% (lawful ->

neutral -> chaotic = 3 or 6%, good -> neutral -> evil = 3 or 6% for a

total of 12%) chance of an effect.





LEVEL DRAINING



     Every time the pregnant woman loses a level for whatever reason

after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to

the number of levels drained multiplied by 10 that an effect has

occurred. If an effect does occur, minus 5 to the die roll on the Type

of Effect Table for each level drained.





MAGICAL AGING



     If any aging effect is inflicted upon the pregnant woman (such as

a Haste spell), the aging effect is split between the mother and child

equally. This, of course, may cause immediate labor and birth of the

child. Due to increased development rate, the child must make a system

shock roll based on its mother's constitution. Failure indicates that

an effect occurs.





     If there is an effect roll on the following table (subtracting the

stage of pregnancy, i.e. add 10 if in the 5th stage of pregnancy) to

decide if the effect is positive or negative (use appropriate

modifiers).





TABLE 4: Type of Effect



01-25     Positive; roll on Positive Effects Table 5

26-00     Negative; roll on Negative Effects Table 6





TABLE 5: Positive Effects (ROLL 1d10)



1: Born with infravision which enables child to see up to 60 feet in

the dark. If the child's race already has the benefit of infravision

than add 20 feet to the range.



2: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. paralyzation, poison, or death

magic.



3: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. rod, staff, or wand.



4: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. petrifaction or polymorph.



5: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. breath weapon.



6: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. spell.



7: Born with 10d10 - 5 % magic resistance.



8: Born with a lifetime regeneration ability. The child will be able to

naturally (subconsciously) regenerate 1 hit point every turn.



9: Born with a natural (subconscious) ability to "turn" 1 Hit Die

undead. Great potential for child to grow up to be a infamous cleric.



10: Born with a psionic wild talent. If the effect was created due to

psionics, then two wild talents develop.





TABLE 6: Negative Effects (ROLL 1d12)



1: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. paralyzation, poison, or

death magic.



2: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. rod, staff, or wand.



3: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. petrifaction or polymorph.



4: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. breath weapon.



5: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. spell.



6: Unborn is mutated into a demon. Possible possessed by the evil

intelligence of a demonic creature. The GM should decide what type of

demon the child shall be.



7: Radically different coloration of skin. The color change can either

be advantageous or disadvantageous to the child, depending on whether

the new color will give him/her a camouflage appearance or make him/her

a laughing stock. A child's color can change to any other color. The

color change is left to the GM and is limited only by the imagination.



8: The child's eyes are much different than normal. Roll 1d6 to

determine the types of eyes: 1 = huge and protruding; 2 = small and

stalked like a crab's; 3 = large ad turreted, move independently like a

chameleon; 4 = appear normal but child has 1d4 additional eyes; 5 =

multifaceted like an insect's; 6 = the child appears to have no eyes

(any eye sockets are empty, but the child moves and reacts like one

with normal vision).



9: The child's eyes appear and function normally except for their

color: 1 = solid black; 2 = blank white; 3 = glowing red; 4 = glowing,

venomous green; 5 = putrid pink; 6 = opalescent.



10: The skull or head of the child is adorned with unusual outgrowths.

While it is possible for a child to attack with these outgrowths (when

he/she grows up), this mutation does not give the child an additional

attack per round. Roll 1d4 to determine the type of adornment: 1 =

antlers, as a small deer, that do 1-2 hp slashing and rendering damage

each; 2 = horns, as a small bull, doing 1-3 hp stabbing damage each; 3

= single horn, like a small unicorn horn without magical properties,

doing 1-4 hp stabbing damage; 4 = curved horns, like a ram, that can be

used to butt an opponent for 1-4 hp damage.



11: The child has a tail. While it is possible to use the tail for

attack, this does not give an additional attack per round. Roll 1d4 to

determine the type of tail: 1 = short, useless, and non-functioning; 2

= long and prehensile, can be used to hold a shield or other object but

cannot be used in attack; 3 = long and segmented, ending in a

nonpoisonous stinger that does 1-4 hp damage; 4 = long and whip-like,

can be used to inflict 1-2 hp damage.



12: REROLL



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                       WHEN DOES THE STORK COME?





     Normally, labor will occur 36+1d4 weeks after conception for

humans, elves, and half-elfs. Labor will occur 38-1d4 weeks after

conception for dwarves and halflings.





MISCARRIAGES



     When a character suffers over 50% of total hit points in damage,

there is a chance that she suffers a miscarriage based on how long she

has been pregnant. For the first three stages (1,2,3) the chance of a

miscarriage is 50%. For the second three stages (4,5,6) the chance of a

miscarriage is 25% The woman has 3d4 hours to get to a cleric for a

Cure Critical Wounds to save the child. Of course, the child must make

a system shock based on its mother's constitution to survive. In the

case of a miscarriage, there is a 25% of hemorrhaging. Hemorrhaging

causes 3d6 points of internal damage to the character.

     For the last three stages (7,8,9) instead of a miscarriage there

is a 50% chance for a premature birth.





LABOR & BIRTH



     When a women has her first child, she will be in labor 4d6 hours.

Subsequent labors will be for 1d10 hours.

     The chance for a successful birth is based on the following

formula (use mom's stats): success % = System Shock + (2 * Strength).



     The GM has two options for an unsuccessful birth. Kind GMs can

make the mother make a system shock/2. If she succeeds then the child

makes a roll to check for failure on the table based on the following

formula: (system shock/2) - 1 for each day premature. (NOTE: subtract

10% from the table for each day the child is premature.) This option

gives the character and child a second chance.  A more sinister GM can

require a roll on the table without any second chances.





TABLE 7: Failed Birth (Roll 1d%)



01-40     child dies

41-80     mother dies

81-98     both dies

99-00     Both live (one last chance for success)



GMs may adjusted the table based on their own campaign.





RECOVERY FROM BIRTH



     The mother must spend 1d6+3 days in recovery. If the character

wishes to engage in strenuous activities rather than recover, the GM

can implement penalties to abilities (i.e. strength, constitution,

dexterity). The bitch rule should remain in effect for an additional

1d4 weeks after birth.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                         SPELLS FOR THE MOTHER





Level 1

Detect Pregnancy                   Prevent Nausea

Summon Midwife



Level 2

Assist Labor & Birth



Level 6

'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy





Detect Pregnancy (Divination)



Class: Cleric

Level: 1

Sphere: Divination

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None



     This spell enables the priest to detect pregnancy in any creature.

The priest will also know the day of conception, stage of pregnancy,

estimated day of birth, and gender of child.





Prevent Nausea (Abjuration) Reversible



Class: Cleric

Level: 1

Sphere: Healing

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 6 turns/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None



     This spell will prevent the woman from getting nausea for the

duration of the spell. The reverse of this spell will cause nausea to

the victim, male or female.





Summon Midwife (Conjuration/Summoning)



Class: Cleric

Level: 1

Sphere: Summoning

Range: 30 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: none

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None



     This spell will summon the nearest midwife. The midwife will get

the summons. She is under no obligation to respond to the summons, but

very few midwifes will ignore it unless unfortunate circumstances

prevail.





Assist Labor & Birth (Necromancy)



Class: Cleric

Level: 2

Sphere: Healing

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: none

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None



     This spell has multiple functions to assist the mother in labor

and birth:



     Epidural - Produces a numbing of the lower back and pelvis to

     reduce stress on the mother during labor.



     Push - Assists mother in pushing the child out. Will cut the time

     of labor by 1d4 hours.



     Turn Baby - Will position the child correctly during labor for

     proper birth.



The material components of this spell are boiling hot water and towels.





'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy (Necromancy)



Class: Mage

Level: 6

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: permanent

Casting Time: 6

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Neg.



     This spell will speed up the pregnancy of a woman from 9 stages to

9 hours (1 hour for each stage left until birth). The pregnant woman

must make a system shock when its time to give birth. Success indicates

that the birth is successful, failure indicates that child dies and the

woman suffers a permanent -1 reduction to constitution.

     'Irnar is still researching, but the priestesses of the Mother

Goddess are doing their damndest to hunt him down and destroy his

research, it is a violation if their creed.









     Some parental mages have created a few useful cantrips. Below is a

list of them. They have a small description and should not need

additional explanation.



Burp - causes the infant to pass gas.

Create Cheerios and Milk - creates a healthy portion of cereal w/ milk.

Gallager's Food to Mush - transfers food to edible mush for infants.

Turn Toddler - keeps a whinny kid at bay.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                         FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME





     Alcohol has a very bad effect on the developing brain of the

fetus. In some areas, the brain may never totally mature. In addition

to reduced learning capabilities, a person has little or no sense of

"right or wrong". He/she has little sense of time, so that a potential

long jail term means little to him/her, and he/she doesn't see the

benefits of saving money today to spend next year, or to study today

for a test next week. These symptoms can range anywhere from almost

unnoticeable to very pronounced, and facial disfigurement (small,

misshapen eyes and a flatter nasal area) can even occur.

     Some Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victims are somewhat socially inept.

Not in a "nerdy" manner, but they seem to be unable to have healthy

friendships. They are attracted to dangerous elements, such as the

other troublemakers (unable to separate right from wrong, etc). They

can't seem to resist peer pressure, and if pressured, will drink,

steal, etc.. Their work ethic is bad, unable to see the future as

imminent. The awful thing is, it's not their fault!

     Therefore, if a woman drinks at ANY time during pregnancy (even if

she doesn't know she's pregnant) and if she consumes even a small

amount of alcohol, there is a risk of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The more

often she drinks, the greater the risk and the greater the possible

effects. The player should roll 1d100 when the baby is born, with a

cumulative possibility of having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome of +5% for

every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting)

during the pregnancy. If the result is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, then the

GM has two options in deciding on the results:



     1: The player rolls 1d100 with a cumulative +5% for every time the

     mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during

     the pregnancy. Then consult Table 1.



     2: The player rolls 1d12 with a cumulative +1 for every time the

     mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during

     the pregnancy. Then consult Table 2. Note that the character has

     all of the symptoms up to and including his/her die roll. That is,

     if the player rolls a 6 then the character has results 1, 2, 3, 4,

     5, and 6.





Table 1: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results



Die

Roll    Effect

01-03   Intelligence is 4d4.

04-06   Intelligence is 3d4.

07-09   Intelligence is 2d4.

10-12   Intelligence is 1d4.

13-15   Wisdom is 4d4.

16-18   Wisdom is 3d4.

19-21   Wisdom is 2d4.

22-24   Wisdom is 1d4.

25-27   Strength is 4d4.

28-30   Strength is 3d4.

31-33   Strength is 2d4.

34-36   Strength is 1d4.

37-39   Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 4d4.

40-42   Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 3d4.

43-45   Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 2d4.

46-48   Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 1d4.

49-51   Weak. Constitution is 4d4.

52-54   Weak. Constitution is 3d4.

55-57   Very Weak. Constitution is 2d4.

58-60   Very Weak. Constitution is 1d4.

61-63   Learns at 1/4 speed.

64-66   Learns at 1/2 speed.

67-69   Learns at 3/4 speed.

70-72   Cannot have a lawful alignment.

73-75   Must have a chaotic alignment.

76-78   Must have a neutral alignment.

79-81   Unable to save money, destitute. Always gets rid of money.

82-84   Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.

85-87   Never able to cast spells.

88-90   2d20+8 % magic resistance. Roll ignoring any result above 87.

91-93   Two problems. Roll twice ignoring any result above 87.

94-96   Three problems. Roll thrice ignoring any result above 87.

97-99   Four problems. Roll four times ignoring any result above 87.

00-00   Five problems. Roll five times ignoring any result above 87.





Table 2: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results



 1   Intelligence penalized -1d4.

 2   Wisdom penalized -1d4.

 3   Strength penalized -1d4.

 4   Some facial disfigurement. Charisma penalized -1d4.

 5   Weaker. Constitution penalized 1d4.

 6   Learns at 1/4 speed.

 7   Cannot have a lawful alignment.

 8   Must have a chaotic alignment.

 9   Must have a neutral alignment.

10   Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.

11   Never able to cast spells.

12   2d20+8 % magic resistance.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





          ON THE SUBJECT OF A SHAPECHANGING MOTHER AND CHILD





     When a female who can naturally shapechange has a child, the

relationship between mother and child is complex. Specifically, what

shapechanging -if any- does the child undergo? There are some rules to

remember:





Nursing Stage



- While the mother is in her natural form, the child is in its natural

form.



  Examples: If a dragon mother is in dragon form, the child also is in

dragon form. If a centaur druid mother is in centaur form, the child is

in centaur



- Until the child is weaned, it "echoes" the form of its mother. This

occurs continuously whether or not the mother is actually in the

process of nursing the child.



  Examples: If a dragon mother is in human form, the child also is in

human form. If a centaur druid mother is in bear form, the child is in

bear form regardless of what its original form was.





Weaned Stage



- After the child is weaned, it regains its normal form.



  Examples: If a dragon mother is in any form, the child also is in

dragon form. If a centaur druid mother is in any form, the child is in

centaur, horse or human form as appropriate.



- From weaning until puberty, the child will always remain in its

natural form.





Adulthood



- If the child is not of a shapechanging race, it will never

shapechange again.



- If the child is of a shapechanging race, it will gain its

shapechanging powers with the onset of puberty.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                    THE BABY IS HERE! WHAT YA' GOT?





CHARACTERISTICS





Baby's Sex



     Probably the most popular topic of a new born child is its sex.

Roll percentile dice to determine the race of the child. Generally the

probability of having a female is slightly greater than a male. Thus

there is a 52% of having a male and a 48% of having as female child.

Note that GMs may wish to adjust this number in their campaigns for the

various races. Also, the GM may let the character influence the chance

one way or the other through magic, divine intervention, etc..





Attributes



     This system will give you the attributes that the baby will have

once he reaches adulthood (which is usually a few years after puberty).

Of course, as a child the baby will show potential or problem areas if

stats are high or low; especially in areas of intelligence and wisdom.

     To figure out the attributes, the first step is to average each

attribute of the parents which will give you the "genetic" bases. To

make the baby a bit different from its parents, a random factor is

added to the process. First, add 1d4 to each genetic base and then

subtract 1d4 to that number. This means that each of the baby's stats

can be up to 3 above or 3 below its parents' average. If the result

isn't an integer, there is a 50% chance to round up and a 50% to round

down.

     Example: A baby is to be born, but what will his Strength be? His

father's Strength is 17 and his mother's Strength is 14. This averages

to 15.5 which becomes the genetic base. Before figuring in the random

factor, we know that the baby's Strength will fall between 12.5 - 18.5.

On the first 1d4, a 3 is rolled and added to the genetic factor giving

us a 18.5. On the second 1d4, a 2 is rolled and subtracted from the

18.5 giving us a Strength 16.5. Well decimals are unacceptable so on

the percentile roll, a 23% is rolled causing the Strength to be rounded

down to 16. The baby's Strength will be 16 when it reaches adulthood.

The same process is followed for the remanding attributes.

     Note that the baby's attributes must still obey its race's

minimum/maximum limits. For example, no human can be born with more

than 18 or less than 3 in any attribute.





Height



     To figure out what the baby's adult height will be, the first step

is to average the parents height (in inches). Next, add the modifier

based on race found on the height table below. Finally, add the

adjustment found on the height table if it is a male, subtract the

adjustment if it is a female. The result is the baby's adult height in

inches.





TABLE: Height



Race           Mod.     Adj.

Dwarf          1d6       1

Elf            1d6       2.5

Gnome          1d4       1

Half-elf       1d6       1

Halfling       1d8       1

Human          1d10      1







Weight



     To figure out what the baby's adult weight will be, the first step

is to average the parents weight. Next, add the modifier based on race

found on the weight table below. Finally, add the adjustment found on

the weight table if it is a male, subtract the adjustment if it is a

female. The result is the baby's adult weight.





TABLE: Weight



Race           Mod.     Adj.

Dwarf          2d10     12.5

Elf            2d6       5

Gnome          2d4       2

Half-elf       2d8      12.5

Halfling       2d4       2

Human          2d20     20





Alternative Sexist Height & Weight



     This system emphasizes the relationship between the sex of the

child and the size of the parents. Big men with small wives will have

small daughters and strapping sons. Small men with big wives will have

large healthy daughters and puny sons. To summarize, this system will

have daughter's size favor mothers and son's size favor fathers.

     Although this system for figuring out height and weight is good,

it is given as an alternative. Unless the GM plans the size of the

parents ahead of time, a small mother would have a small daughter and a

small father would have a small son. This seems reasonable, but if

players are looking for player characters out of the baby, having the

baby small might not be a good idea.

     To figure out what the baby's adult height will be, the first step

is to calculate height in inches as per your RPG rule book. Take the

height of the parent that is the same gender as the child and multiply

it by 1.5. Take the height of the other parent of the child and

multiply it by 1.5. Add those three numbers then divide by 3. The

result is the baby's adult height in inches. To summarize:



ht = [calc. ht. + (1.5 x same gender parent) + (.5 x other parent)] / 3



     To figure out what the baby's adult weight will be, the first step

is to calculate weight in inches as per your RPG rule book. Take the

weight of the parent that is the same gender as the child and multiply

it by 1.5. Take the weight of the other parent of the child and

multiply it by 1.5. Add those three numbers then divide by 3. The

result is the baby's adult weight in inches. To summarize:



wt = [calc. wt. + (1.5 x same gender parent) + (.5 x other parent)] / 3





Personality



     Sooner or later, the parents will learn that the baby has a

distinct personality. The player should roll on a personality table of

his GM RPG rule book. The GM may wish the player to roll on the table

once the baby reaches childhood, reaches puberty, and finally reaches

adulthood.  Of course, once adulthood is reached, the "baby" may be

considered a PC rather than a NPC if the player desires to pursue this

avenue. Thus, the player develops the character as desired.

     It should be emphasized here that role-playing personality is only

relevant if the baby is intended as an NPC. Babies who are to become

PCs shouldn't roll this so the player may have absolute freedom in

creating the character.





"DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL" SYNDROME



     A female child should has a percentage chance (60 + her Charisma -

father's Wisdom) of charming her father. The charmed father will always

think of his daughter as pure and innocent. He will always protect her

and blame everybody else for anything that happens to her even if it is

obviously her fault.





THE FIRST BORN



     When these baby rules were being developed, GM Mizar and one of

his players started to roll up the baby's stats and due to a sequence

of unbelievably lucky rolls they created a wonder girl:



P. Strength: 18

Intelligence: 15

Dexterity: 17

Wisdom: 16

Constitution: 18

Charisma: 12

Attractiveness: 17

Luck: 14



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                            SEXUAL TENDENCY





     Some GMs may like totally random factors in a character's

generation thus this sexual tendency optional rule is presented. Roll

1d100 on Table 1 to get the sexual tendency of the character using the

appropriate social class modifier from Table 2. The reason for the

social class modifier: the upper classes have more access to

culturally-accepted sexual information and are under strict "moral"

guardianship.





TABLE 1: Sexual Tendencies



Die Roll  Tendency

01-80     heterosexual

81-90     bisexual

91-00     homosexual





TABLE 2: Modifiers Due To Social Class



Social Level             Modifiers

Lower Lower Class            0

Middle Lower Class           0

Upper Lower Class            0

Lower Middle Class          -1%

Middle Middle Class         -2%

Upper Middle Class          -3%

Lower Upper Class           -5%

Middle Upper Class          -7%

Upper Upper Class           -9%



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                             THE BITCH RULE





     The Bitch Rule is an option that makes a female PC or NPC very

moody.  GMs may make this a requirement for all females. Other

alternatives are making it an insanity, disease, or curse. The Bitch

Rule works best for chaotic characters because they seem to have what

it takes to work.



The following are the steps to develop a moody female:



     - The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for

       an attitude.



     - The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually

       stressful (i.e. after melee, during an argument, etc.).



     - Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex. other

       player characters) may request a reroll once per day. Only one

       reroll may happen each day. The reroll represents people who

       influence the female thereby changing her moods (for better or

       for worse).



      - For a roll of 6 on the table, roll 1d6 again. A 1 indicates an

        obsessive behavior. Thus, she becomes obsessive about whatever

        the party is doing at the moment to the point of not letting

        anyone or thing in her way of trying to accomplish her goal.





TABLE: Moods & Attitudes



Die

Roll      Moods & Attitudes

 1        happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly

 2        self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic

 3        pissed off, vengeful, cruel

 4        playful, energetic, daring, foolhardy, practical joker

 5        vain, proud, lazy, bored, omnipotent feeling

 6        restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with

          things, roll 1d6 for obsession check





     Needless to say, running a character with all of these different

attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to

role play to a maximum.



     The Bitch Rule initiated in Salina, a chaotic neutral human.

Because of her great contribution to the game, a profile of her is

below.



Salina - 9th level mage



Physical Appearance:  Salina is 5' 6" brunette with grey eyes. She has

remarkable stats (all above 10, INT 17, DEX 18) (honest, that's the way

she rolled it...). She is a real "babe".  The longer you are in her

presence, however, the more you realize that her charisma is not quite

up to her atractiveness.



Family & Childhood: Her mother died in childbirth. Her father is a

rich/feared/respected merchant/trader/smuggler who bought his title and

measures affection in monetary terms. To increase Salina's value, she

was educated by private tutors and given anything money could buy.  She

discovered books and power as a substitute for friends and affection.



Reasons to Adventure:

     * Boredom; looking for a thrill

     * Companionship (though she would never agmit it to herself) * To

     gain greater powers and a sense of self away from Daddy * To get

     away from Daddy's immediate grasp so he doesn't marry her

       off to secure a trade agreement or something



General: She lives whim to whim. She has chronic PMS mood swings (aka

The Bitch Rule). She is self serving. All of her likes and dis-likes

are subject to change at any time, though a respect for books and

talent and an attraction to jewelry are pretty consistent. She tends to

dislike being dirty and loathes stupid people unless they have

something she needs from them. She is a sort-of female Q (from Star

Trek TNG).  The party puts up with her often dangerous moods because

she is a really good mage.



Adventure examples: Has a casual but regular relationship with 'Irnar

(a NPC mage who "pops" in every now and again to stir up trouble with

the characters). She keeps the relationship for what she can get out of

him and because he learned some pretty INCREDIBLE moves after being

abducted by a goddess of love. 'Irnar is totally into the physical

aspect of a relation and since Salina is a mage with the best

atractiveness in my campaign, she wins out. Salina has been known to

disappear (teleported by 'Irnar) during the middle of her night watch

and reappear with melting snow in her hair. Or completely soaked with

water, or in one case with grass stains and rope burns. The party has

yet to find out what she does on her little side trips. One time she

disappeared for three days then reappeared with no explanations, but

she was in such a good mood that the party counted their blessings and

did not press the questions. Besides, they desperately needed her since

they were about to do battle with an Orcish army.



One time, another mage in the party got Salina mad at him, so he cast a

Globe of Invulnerability around him for protection. Salina, recognizing

the spell promptly threw a dagger +2 at him as a "subtle way of saying

"get out of my face" and continued on her way without losing hardly a

beat.



Another time the party had to pay a toll of one magic item each to a

very old black dragon (I was sorta hoping they'd try to fight the

thing) and Salina, in her helpful, cheery mood promptly offered the

other mage to the dragon saying "If you let us pass, I'll give him to

you" (note: said with a disgustingly cheery voice). The other mage had

to do some quick talking to get out of that one. He did get some help

from the good cleric who was "appalled" that Salina could do such a

thing.



The party encountered a pool of whimsy healing water once. Salina got

mad at one of the party members for being stupid, and promptly pushed

him in.  (The party at the time did not know the effects of the water.)

Well, the fighter immediately got healed of all of his hit points, got

a whimsy (I don't recall what it was) and drowned because he was

wearing metal armour. Two members of the party finally fished him out,

but they had a dickens of a time resuscitating him. The episode ended

by everyone having a pool fight and pushing someone else in. (All went

in except Salina.)



In another adventure, the party was right in the middle of battling an

awesome mage (Le Morte by name) and Salina suddenly got bored and sat

down to do her nails. The party, without a mage to help them  out,

really got whomped on, had to give in to Le Morte's demands, and lost a

Horn of Dwarf Summoning they had spent several months (real time)

trying to get in order to call the Dwarves to battle against the

impending evil of a powerful anti-paladin (Sheol) who is still trying

to take over all of the land.



Well. There you have some of the endearing characteristics of Salina.

The party she runs around with may not like her all that much, but with

players like her, the GM's job of making things difficult for all the

players is made a little easier. ("With characters like her," quipped

the Cleric named Candice Preach, "who needs adventure?")



                  This background is brought to you by

                      Morgan the Slightly Chaotic



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





               THE RACK CRITICAL HIT CHART: FOR MEN ONLY





     Female characters are cursed with The Bitch Rule, so how can the

males be equally punished. Well, at long last, it's here. The Rack

Critical Hit Chart.

     "Rack" is a term that refers to a shot to the groin. As most guys

will tell you, a hit to the body or face is invulnerably more welcome

and less devastating than a blast to the crotch.

     The rack can either be a called shot to the groin, part of a

normal critical hit chart, or (to get more use of it) if the attacker

rolls five higher than the necessary to hit roll (modified or natural),

it is now considered to be a rack.



The rack chart is as follows:



 0-70  Man drops weapon, clutches privates, and loses next 1d4 rounds

       of initiative.

71-80  Man is blinded by tears and cannot defend or attack for the next

       1d6 rounds.

81-90  Man is stunned for one round and then goes into a berserker rage

       for 1d10 rounds. Rules for berserk rage applies.

91-95  Man's voice is permanently altered to 1d4 octaves higher,

       dropping his charisma by 1d4. Also stunned for 1d4 rounds.

96-98  Man is permanently rendered impotent. Stunned for 1d6 rounds.

 99    Man loses consciousness for 1d10 rounds. (System shock roll can

       be made at -50%, if successful, man is only unconscious for 1d4

       rounds.)

 00    Man goes into shock, no save, and dies. All men within a viewing

       distance must make a constitution save at -5 or they clutch

       themselves and remain stunned for 1 round.





NOTE: GM's may enforce the rule that any time a man sees another man

getting racked he must make a constitution check to see if he is

stunned for one round. Exception, see 00.



FINAL NOTE: Due to the amount of protection a male will go through to

protect his "family treasure", his AC for his privates is 2 better than

his overall AC. He also gets +2 to his dexterity at any attempt to

dodge. 







                  SEDUCTION: MORE THAN REACTION ROLLS





     This is a simple yet effective way to handle a seduction. It is

far more fun than making endless reaction checks and it certainly keeps

players on their feet.



The following are the steps for seducing:



     - When the character first comes in contact with someone he/she

       wants to seduce, a normal reaction roll is made. If the reaction

       of the victim is friendly, then a seduction may take place.



     - The preliminary moves are made (i.e. role playing) and attribute

       checks are made. The seducer makes a Charisma check with

       modifiers from Table 1. The victim makes an Intelligence check

       (to see if he/she is dumb enough to fall for it) with modifiers

       from Table 1. If the seducer beats the victim's roll by 4 or

       more, he/she is doing well and may continue.



     - The GM decides how many more checks should be made with suitable

       pluses or minuses to the attribute rolls (take into account how

       well the player is role playing). Usually no more than three

       more successful checks are necessary. Failed checks mean that

       the victim of the seduction lost interest, but the seducer can

       try again with the Charisma check halved (its not easy to get

       back up on that horse after being shot down).





TABLE 1: Attribute Modifiers



Moves Made        Seducer   Victim

Drunkenly           -2        +2

Sleazy/Raunchy      -1        +1

Aggressive          +1        -1

Gentleman/Lady      +2        -2



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                     SEDUCTION FOR THE PROFESSIONAL





     Certain characters (see the sub-classes in this guide) have a

special benefit of seduction. This ability that differs from the

seduction rules above is described here. Note that these rules are not

gender specific but are given as if the Seducer is a woman.

     The Seducer has a special power of seduction. Seduction is an

ability which is used against individual males of the same or similar

race as the Seducer. The Seducer's percentage chance of seducing is

given by the following formula:

                                          Seducer's level

                                    --------------------------  X 100

                                    victim's level + modifiers



     TABLE 1: CUMULATIVE MODIFIERS; IF VICTIM IS...

     Fighter  +3         Elf/Half-elf          +1         * +1 for each

     Rogue    +3         Dwarf/Gnome/Halfling  +2           outsider

     Mage     +4         Orc/Half-orc          -1           (see below)

     Cleric   +5



     TABLE 2: CUMULATIVE VICTIM'S WISDOM MODIFIER

       1    -6           08-14  0

       2    -4            15   +1

       3    -3            16   +2

       4    -2            17   +3

     05-07  -1            18   +4





     TABLE 3: OPTIONAL SEDUCER'S STATE OF DRESS MODIFIER

     Heavily clothed               +1

     Scantily/Provocatively clad   -1

     Nude                          -2

      (The latter state will not be terribly practical under

      most circumstances, and might well lead to arrest for

      indecent exposure.)



     A seduced person will drop his weapons, become oblivious to his

surroundings, and attempt to engage the Seducer in a passionate

embrace. In such a state he is extremely vulnerable (especially to kiss

spells which are very popular amongst Seducers). However, if the

Seducer does not attempt to use a spell on a seduced victim, he is

allowed to make his save vs. spell. If this is successful, then he

realizes what has happened in which case the seduction is broken and he

cannot be immediately seduced again. Breaking the seduction, however,

does not affect the success of the spell being used.

     Seduction cannot be used in combat and cannot work against other

females except those that are homosexuals. The presence of other

individuals in close proximity (within ten feet, or obviously watching)

will reduce the chance of success of the seduction attempt.  For each

outsider present, add 1 to the modifier.

     Seduction lasts for a number of turns equal to five times the

Seducer's level, or until broken. It can be broken in a number of ways,

i.e. if the Seducer attempts to use a kiss spell as above, or if she

resists his attentions (the victim is allowed his save vs. spell each

time she does so), or if the victim is attacked. In the latter case,

the seduction is instantly broken.

     Seduction can only be used on a single individual at a time; a

Seducer may use the ability a number of times per day equal to her

level.

     EXAMPLE OF THE USE OF SEDUCTION: Lirona the Seducer (3rd level,

human) is attempting to seduce Thad Leaf the thief (5th level, human).

The scene is the Golden Griffon Inn. There are a number of other people

present but no one is paying any particular attention to the pair.

Lirona's chance of seducing Thad is equal to 3 (her level) X 100

divided by 5 (Thad's level) +3 (modified for a thief), i.e. 300 / 8 =

37.5%.  Lirona rolls 30. Success! Thad is taken in by her charms.

however, a bar is no place for a romantic liaison. Eagerly he

accompanies her upstairs to her room, his arm around her slim waist,

not suspecting the fate that awaits him when he gets there...!!!



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                           NON-WEAPON SKILLS





                         # of Slots     Relevant       Check

Skill                    Required       Ability        Modifier

Contortion                  1           Dexterity         0

Massage                     1           Intelligence      0

Seduction                   1           Charisma          0

Sexual Endurance            1           Constitution      0

Sexual Knowledge            1           Intelligence      0

Skilled Perversion          1           see below      see below





Contortion - A character with this skill is able to contort his body

and limbs into extraordinary positions.



Massage - A character with this skill is a master of massaging.  The

character has a great knowledge of stroking, kneading, and striking

certain muscular parts of the body. It is used to improve circulation,

sooth the nerves, and stimulate the digestive organs.  Massage is also

useful in increasing the tone of muscles after a long illness. Thus,

the character gains knowledge of anatomy and is able to use his hands

skillfully in stroking motions on certain muscles and nerves. A male

who gives massage is called a masseur; a female is known as a masseuse.

A skill check isn't necessary unless it is critical for the massage to

be good (ex. soothing a savage before picking his pockets).

     This skill also allows the character the ability to strike

pressure points on an opponent. A successful "to hit" and skill check

indicates that the victim suffers a -2 on his/her "to hit" rolls for

1d4 rounds (due to pain and sudden muscle cramps).



Seduction - A character with this skill is better at seducing people

than the average person. Thus, he/she gets a +2 bonus when seducing

somebody (see the seduction rules below) if the skill check is made.



Sexual Endurance - A character with this skill is able to perform

continual sexual activity longer then most before becoming subject to

fatigue and exhaustion. When a character makes constitution ability

checks during sex, he/she makes a skill check. If a successful

skill check is made, then the cumulative modifier to constitution is

cancelled.



Sexual Knowledge - A character with this skill has a knowledgeable

understanding of sex. Thus, he/she gets a bonus of +1 to constitution

ability checks during sex if a successful skill check is made.

     This knowledge is allows the character to know proper "etiquette"

when it comes to sex.  Knowledge of sexual customs, preferences,

pleasures, and dislikes, and so forth of people he/she comes in contact

with.



Skilled Perversion - This skill actually gives the character a number

of skills.  Unfortunately (to normal people), these skills allow the

character to master the art of perversion.

     The skill of voyeurism allows the character on a successful

Charisma check to ogle a person of the opposite gender and make lewd,

suggestive comments equal to the prose of bards. If the check is made

by 2, the character can successfully peep in windows to look at sexy

people without being caught.

     The skill of cleavage allows the character on a successful Wisdom

check to accurately determine the direction and distance to the nearest

female with a minimum bust size of 36 and/or minimum cup size of D.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                   SEXUALIS MORBUS (SEXUAL DISEASES)





     This system does not attempt a specific treatment of a subject

which is beyond its scope and purpose. What is done, however, is to

give general categories of disease and maladies and their game effects.





CHANCE OF CONTRACTING A DISEASE



     To contract a sexual disease, the character must be having sex

with somebody who already is inflicted with a disease. The base chance

for contracting a natural disease is 1% per round of sexual activity.

The base chance for contracting a magical disease is 2% per round of

sexual activity. Modifiers are as followed:



     Constitution of character

      1-3    +4     13-15  -2

      4-6    +2     16-18  -4



     protected intercourse    / 2  (cuts the chance in half)

     unprotected intercourse  X 2  (doubles the chance)



     Thus, Rath (con. 14) becomes intimate with a person that has a

natural sexual disease unfortunately he prefers not to use protection

(like a sheep-skin condom). He participates in 18 rounds of sex. His

chance of getting a disease is 32% (18-2 X 2). He rolls a 28 on the

percentile dice. Thus, our hero now is infected with a sexual disease.

If only he used protection, his chance of contracting a disease would

have been a mere 8%. A lesson to be learned.

     The use of Protection From Disease and Cure Disease spells are of

course very useful for preventing and curing disease.





RANDOM DETERMINATION OF WHO IS DISEASED



     The GM should decide of the person a character has sex with is

infested with a disease, but if he wants to decide randomly, this

system is provided. The chance of a prostitute having a disease is

already established if Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator)

section of the guide is used. Therefore, the system is provided for

non-prostitute people. Also, this system doesn't handle whether

diseases are natural or magical because some GM's may have magically

rich campaigns ands others may not so odds may vary.

     The base chance of having a disease is depend on the size of the

settlement (the theory is that more diseases are found in bigger

settlements where more people interrelate):



     Thorp, Dorf     10

     Hamlet          25

     Village, Wych   30

     Town            35

     City            40



Modifiers to the base chance are by social level (the theory is that

more disease are transmitted amongst the lower classes because there

are dirtier and less careful):



     Lower Lower Class   +20                 NOTE: not all settlements

     Middle Lower Class  +15                 have these many variations

     Upper Lower Class   +10                 of social level. The GM

     Lower Middle Class   +5                 should be aware of what

     Middle Middle Class   0                 social levels are around.

     Upper Middle Class   -5

     Lower Upper Class   -10

     Middle Upper Class  -15

     Upper Upper Class   -20



     Thus, a lower lower class citizen of a city would have a 60%

chance of having a disease maybe because she sleeps around to get extra

food money. In a near by hamlet, an upper upper class citizen would

have a 5% chance maybe because he has a private mistress to engage in

sexual activity when he is up to it. While in the city, a citizen of

equal status has a 20% chance maybe because he parties a lot with the

rich and he screws just as much.



     At first glance at this system, a person might assume that in a

city 9,000 roughly 40% (3,600) of the population are sexually diseased.

The first item to note is that this system includes only those that

ENGAGE in sexual activity. This eliminates a large amount of the city

including children, elderly, etc.. We'll say that half the city engages

in sexual activity, which seems like a lot. Social level is another

important aspect that must be included. Thus in this example, let us

assume that all social levels exist and there population is equal:



                           Total   Sexual   Chance    Total Of

     Social Level          Pop.    Active   Of Dis.   Diseased

     Lower Lower Class     1,000    500   *   60%   =   300

     Middle Lower Class    1,000    500   *   55%   =   275

     Upper Lower Class     1,000    500   *   50%   =   250

     Lower Middle Class    1,000    500   *   45%   =   225

     Middle Middle Class   1,000    500   *   40%   =   200

     Upper Middle Class    1,000    500   *   35%   =   175

     Lower Upper Class     1,000    500   *   30%   =   150

     Middle Upper Class    1,000    500   *   25%   =   125

     Upper Upper Class     1,000    500   *   20%   =   100

                                                       -----

                                                       1800



     Thus, 1,800 people of 4,500 people who have sex of 9,000 people

that live in the city are infected with a sexual disease. This is a

lot, but we're assuming that those that participate in sexual activity

do this with more than one person. The thing to keep in mind is that

this system is to calculate individual persons, not mass population.

When the dice starts rolling, the results usually don't go with the

odds.





NATURAL



     Natural sexual diseases might not seem as bad as magical, but they

are as terrible. After choosing the desired disease on Table 1, the GM

should roll 1d8 to decide occurrence and 1d8 to decide the severity of

the disease.





Table 1: Natural Diseases



                       Occurrence             Severity

  Name               Acute Chronic    Mild  Severe  Terminal

 E.S.S.               1-4    5-8       1-3    4-5      6-8

 Gonorrhea            1-6    7-8       1-5    6-7       8

 Insania              1-4    5-8        X      X        X

 Prurire              1-7     8        1-6    7-8       X

 Segmen Neus          1-4    5-8       1-3    4-5      6-8

 Syphilis              X     1-8       1-5    6-7       8

 Tuna                  1     2-8       1-8     X        X



     Occurrence determines whether the disease is a single (acute)

attack or whether the disease will recur periodically once contracted

(chronic). Chronic maladies will affect the character periodically, if

they occur at the same time as any other malady (disease, disorder, or

parasitic infestation), the severity of both will be increased. Thus,

if two chronic maladies are contracted, the character is not likely to

survive another disease attack.

     Severity refers to the seriousness of the disease, disorder, or

parasitic infestation and determines the period of disability (recover

time or length of illness which terminates in the character's demise)

and the effects of the malady.



     MILD: During the period of affliction the character is unable to

perform strenuous activities. Roll once on Table 2 for additional

effects. Some treatment may be determined by the GM to allow a

shortening of the period of illness. A normal period is 1-3 weeks.



     SEVERE: A severe malady will lower the character's hit points to

50% of normal and make him/her totally disabled for 1-2 weeks, plus a

further 1-2 weeks of time during which the malady is in the mild state

as the character recovers. Roll twice on Table 2 for additional

effects.



     TERMINAL: The malady will cause death (or loss of the body part or

function) in 1-12 days (longer periods are stated hereafter in the

discussion of the various maladies).  Roll thrice on Table 2 for

additional effects.





Table 2: Additional Effects



Die

Roll  Effect

1     Burning during urination

2     Constant pain; -1d4 to attack rolls

3     Gradual brain rot; -1 intelligence and -1 wisdom

4     Hyperactivity; double movement rate, -2 initiative bonus

5     Loss of voice; no verbal spells, singing, etc.

6     Uncontrollable vomiting; -1 constitution per day

7     Sluggishness; half movement rate, +2 initiative penalty

8     10% chance per hour of a spasm which causes dropping of held

      items



                              Description



Enlarged Scrotum Syndrome (E.S.S.) - This disease is only contracted in

males. The effect is that the male's testicles become quite enlarged

(max. of two feet in diameter each).  The victim's movement is

quartered. Constitution is halved.  The pain is awful and its really

embarrassing to be seen.  There is a 15% chance each month that chronic

victims experience the disease again.



Gonorrhea - An infectious disease of the genitourinary tract, rectum,

and cervix, caused by the gonococcus, transmitted by sexual

intercourse, and characterized by acute purulent urethritis with

dysuria (Hey, its from Webster's Dictionary).  There is a 50% chance

each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.



Insania - This disease causes the inflicted to gain a sexual insanity

disorder (GM's choice; see below).  The period of affliction lasts 4d6

months. There is a 10% chance each month that chronic victims

experience the disease again.



Prurire - "The Itch" as it is better known is quite an uncomfortable

but not lethal experience. The period of affliction is 1d4 weeks. There

is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease

again.



Segmen Neus - This disease is named after a disgusting perverse ogre

who was always pestering female species.  The effects of the disease

are as followed:

     * -2 to comeliness each day (gradual disfigurement)

     * -1 to intelligence each day (gradual stupidity)

     * right leg goes bad making movement decrease by 90%

     * unable to participate in any sexual activity

There is a 75% chance each month that chronic victims experience the

disease again.



Syphilis - A chronic infectious venereal disease caused by a spirochete

(Webster's Dictionary is so laborious). There is a 50% chance each

month that chronic victims experience the disease again.



Tuna - This disease only manifests itself in female characters. It

causes the victim to reek of the smell of fish. Going unnoticed is

quite impossible. In fact, if cats are around they will follow the

victim. There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims

experience the disease again.



MAGICAL



     It is unknown how these magical diseases came about. Some sages

say they're from war, some say that a rip in magical fields caused

them, others say that creatures having sex with certain magical beings

cause weird things. Whatever the reason, magical diseases aren't

pretty. Magical diseases don't have an occurrence or severity. They

last until dispelled by cure disease, wish, etc.. The GM can pick or

roll (2d8) on Table 3.

     Some may feel that the these diseases cause to much damage. A

first level character can have sex with somebody infected with acid

secretion and most likely be killed during the encounter. This is true,

but the important thing to remember is that these diseases are magical

and are not necessarily that common in society.





Table 3: Magical Diseases



Die

Roll  Disease

2     Acidic Secretion

3     Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.)

4     Fiery Secretion

5     Mummy Crotch Rot

6     Orgasmatic Flight

7     Orgasmatic Monster Summoning

8     Orgasmatic Polymorph

9     Poison Secretion

10    Sexual Audible Glamer

11    Sexual Chill Touch

12    Sexual Clairvoyance

13    Sexual Invisibility

14    Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope

15+   REROLL





                         Description



Acidic Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d8 points of damage on

any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter.



Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.) - This magical disease only affects

females. Males should reroll on the magical disease table. Females with

this disease suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.



Fiery Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d6 points of damage on

any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter.



Mummy Crotch Rot - This disease is fatal in 1-6 months. For each month

the rot progresses, the victim permanently loses two points of

charisma. The disease can be cured only with a cure disease spell. Cure

wounds and regenerate spells have no effect on a person inflicted with

mummy crotch rot.



Orgasmatic Monster Summoning - Within one round of an orgasm, summoned

monsters appear. There are seven stages of this disease. Each stage is

relative to the number of months the inflicted has had the disease.

Thus in the first month, the disease would be in the first stage.

     In the first stage, 2d4 1st-level monsters appear (selected by the

GM, from encounter tables). In the second stage, 1d6 2nd-level monsters

appear. In the third stage, 1d4 3rd-level monsters appear. In the forth

stage, 1d3 4th-level monsters appear. In the fifth stage, 1d2 5th-level

monsters appear. In the sixth stage, 1d3 6th-level monsters appear.  In

the seventh stage, 1d2 7th-level monsters appear. The disease becomes

terminal after the 7th stage.

     The summoned creatures attack whomever happens to be there for a

number of rounds equal to the stage number + 10.



Orgasmatic Flight - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted levitates if able

(not tied down, etc).  Then, he/she takes off in a random direction for

1d20 rounds. Upon coming into contact with a solid object (ex. wall),

he/she takes off in another random direction. The GM may assign damage

if necessary.



Orgasmatic Polymorph - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted polymorphs into

another creature, save those that are noncoporeal, from as small as

wren to as large as a hippopotamus. Furthermore the victim gains its

physical mode of locomotion and breathing as well. No system shock is

required. This affect does not give the new form's other abilities, nor

does it run the risk of changing personality and mentality. The

duration of the polymorph is 1 turn per constitution point.



Poison Secretion - The sexual partner receives damage (save vs. poison)

on any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter . Roll (1d20)

on the following table to decide damage:



   Die                  Fail   Succ.

   Roll   Onset In      Save   Save

  01-03   10-30 min.     15      0

  04-06   02-12 hours    20     10

  07-09   01-04 hours    20     10

  10-11   02-12 min.     20    01-03

  12-13   02-05 min.     25    02-08

  14-15   02-12 min.     30     15

  16-17   01-02 min.     30    02-12

    18    01-04 min.    Death   20

    19    Immediate     Death    0

    20    Immediate     Death   20



Sexual Audible Glamer - Any time the inflicted engages in sexual

activity, he/she has uncontrollable desires to yell, scream, etc. This

yell becomes louder as the sexual encounter continues. The volume is

based upon the round of sex. During the second round, the volume is

that of one person.  The ratio is two rounds for one person's volume.

Thus, the noise increase to the equivalent of two men during the forth

round, the noise of three men during the sixth, and so on.



Sexual Chill Touch - On the tenth round of a sexual encounter, the

inflicted causes a chill touch to his/her partner. The partner will

take 1d10 points of damage due to the absolute cold. Further, the

victim must save vs.  paralysis or be utterly unable to move. This

paralysis lasts until dispelled in some manner. (This could be real

embarrassing to a government official paralyzed in a sleazy

establishment.)



Sexual Clairvoyance - The inflicted sees in his/her mind some unknown

locale (chosen by the GM) at random times throughout a sexual

encounter.



Sexual Invisibility - The inflicted slowly turns invisible when having

sex. This transformation begins on the second round and will end when

the sexual encounter is finished. At this point, the inflicted will be

totally invisible. The duration of invisibility is equal to the amount

of rounds of the sexual encounter. (This could be beneficial when a

quick an discreet exit is required.)



Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope - A person with this disease either

becomes inflicted with lycanthrope or becomes a carrier of the dreaded

disease. The chances to get the disease are as followed:



     50% - constitution - 5        becoming inflicted

     50% + constitution - 5        becoming a carrier

     10%                           neither



 The type of lycanthrope can be rolled (1d6) on the following table:



     1    Werebear         4  Wearboar

     2    Werefox          5  Wererat

     3    Werewolf         6  Weretiger



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                           SEXUAL INSANITY ?





     A character can be struck by insanity due to a curse, psionic

attack, disease, etc.. The GM must make sure the role of the insane

character is role-played correctly. Naturally, these insanities are not

clinically correct. They are designed to conform to game terms and

situations. Their inclusion is to fill an area of the game where a

condition exists and no adequate explanation is otherwise given. The GM

can pick the desired insanity or roll (1d30) on Table 1.





Table 1: Insanities



Die

Roll Insanity

 1   Bitchamania

 2   Coprophilia

 3   Exhibitionism

 4   Fetishism

 5   Foulmouthia

 6   Geroniophilla

 7   Innecrophilia

 8   Masochism

 9   Mirusmania

10   Necrophilia

11   Nymphomania

12   Pedophilia

13   Periculuphilia

14   Pigmalionism

15   Sadism

16   Sexaphobia

17   Unus-????mania

18   Uridpsomania

19   Voyeurism

20   Zoophilia

21+  REROLL





                              Description



Bitchamania - This insanity can only manifest itself within females.

Males should reroll for another insanity. Females with this insanity

suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.



Coprophilia - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have an

uncontrollable desire to eat the lees (the sediment of a liquid) of the

sexual partner. If the partner is diseased (hopefully a sexual one),

then the insane person's chance of contacting the disease is doubled

and should be checked after each feast.



Exhibitionism - This insanity causes the victim to have a fascination

of being observed while nude or having sex. The more who witness the

person the better. The person must exhibit himself/herself a minimum of

1d10+4 times a week. A few examples are to have sex in a public places,

flash people, streak, etc..



Fetishism - The victim has a fascination and desire to have sex only if

a specific object is in his/her possession or if possible the object is

used in the act (like rods, rings, balls).



Foulmouthia - The victim has an uncontrollable desire to say something

perverse when he/she sees somebody of the opposite sex. When the victim

sees such a person, he/she must make a Wisdom check with a -3 modifier.

Failure and the victim says something profane. If the player can't

think of anything, he/she can roll on the Sexist Quotes table found

later in this guide.



Geroniophilla - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire

sex with older people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The older

person must be at least be twice the character's age and is 50% of the

time a three times the character's age (if possible).



Innecrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive

fascination with the undead. This obsession extends to the point of

engaging in sexual intercourse with undead creatures when the

opportunity arises. When coming across undead the afflicted character

is 75% likely not to cause harm to the undead. Furthermore, he/she is

50% likely to rape unintelligent undead or seduce (to the point of

begging) intelligent undead. The GM and players can see the dangers of

a character desiring the likes of a vampire.



Masochism - This insanity causes the character to like to be hurt by

the partner (normally a sadistic one), using the same ways as the

sadism. In other words, he/she likes to be on the receiving end of

physical pain during sexual encounters.



Mirusmania - This insanity causes the victim to desire to have weird

sex (although some characters may already do weird things). Some

examples are during fly, jump spells; while polymorphed or ethereal; in

strange places like a dungeon, temple, tree; under the influence of

transmute flesh to spells. The GM and player should flesh out this

insanity for good role-playing purposes.



Necrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive

fascination with death and corpses. This obsession extends to the point

of engaging in sexual intercourse with a corpse. The afflicted

character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a corpse of the

opposite sex when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character

adventuring in catacombs may sneak away from the party for a quick

interlude with the dead. This insanity could reach a point where the

character keeps a supply of dead handy to serve his/her purposes.



Nymphomania - Sex! Sex! Sex! This insanity manifests itself in an

ardent desire, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex (lots of

sex). The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce a person of the

opposite sex, whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will

usually seek out such opportunities. The afflicted must have sex a

minimum of 1d10+10 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly

requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to

constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an

accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself.  Other problems

could be continuous dissatisfaction, inability to prioritize, egotistic

view that everyone wants it, patronizing view that all need to be

defiled by sex because they are naturally evil, or that he/she is doing

people a "favor". He/she will not go to the extent of rape or

molesting, but hiring prostitutes is not above the insanity.



Pedophilia - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire sex

with younger people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The younger

person must be at least be half the character's age and is 50% of the

time a fourth of the character's age.  Of course this insanity can

cause a lot of trouble with governmental laws on statutory rape.



Periculuphilia - This strange insanity causes the inflicted to have a

desire for sex only in dangerous situations and places. When in such a

situation, the character is 50% likely to go into a sexual frenzy in

which he/she must have sex immediately, preferably with a close sexual

partner. Thus, a character will usually have such a partner along with

him/her when adventuring. Note the afflicted must have this dangerous

sex a minimum of 1d4+1 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly

requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to

constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an

accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself. Some examples

of dangerous situations and places would be when he/she is surrounded

by a few dragons, in front of a angry lich, or maybe in any battle

he/she is involved in.



Pigmalionism - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive

fascination with statues because they are cold, have hard muscles, nice

form, unemotional, etc.. This obsession extends to the point of

engaging in sexual intercourse with a statue (if physically possible).

The afflicted character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a

statue when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character adventuring

in temple may sneak away from the party for a quick interlude with the

a lovely statue. This insanity could reach a point where the character

collects statues to serve his/her purposes. The ideal partner would be

a golem or enchanted statue.



Sadism - The victim of this insanity has a desire to physically hurt

the person which he/she is having sex with. This attack can be done by

various strange ways like whipping, kicking, chaining the partner,

etc.. This insanity could reach a point where the character, under a

orgasm, kills the engaged person.



Sexaphobia - This insanity gives the victim a fear of having sex and

will avoid having sex at all costs. Reasons for this fear may be divine

retribution, superiority complex (nobody is good enough), etc.



Sexual Phobia - If played properly, a sexual phobia can give a

character a good amount of extra depth, however, played incorrectly can

be disastrous.

     A phobia is a fear of something. The phobias presented here fears

that are related to sex in some way.

     There are two tables for this section, Male and Female. If the

character is homosexual or bisexual, then go to the appropriate sex 90%

of the time and the opposite sex of the character the remaining 10% of

the time. If a character rolls an impossibility (a male rolls a

strictly female phobia), then reroll on the table appropriate to the

character's sex.



TABLE: Female Sexual Phobias



Die     Female

Roll    Sexual Phobias          Fear of

01-03   Agaraphobia             Sexual Abuse

04-06   Algophobia              Sexual Pain

07-12   Androphobia             Men

13-14   Anuptophobia            Being single

15-17   Aphenphobia             Physical Contact

18-22   Coitophobia             Sex

23-24   Coitus More Ferarum     Doggy-style sex

25-29   Coitus Oralis           Oral sex

30-35   Cypridophobia           Venerial Diseases

36-38   Dyspareunia             Painful vaginal sex

39-41   Esodophobia             Virginity

42-44   Gamophobia              Marriage

45-47   Gymnophobia             Naked bodies

48-50   Hedonophobia            Pleasure

51      Heterophobia            Heterosexuals

52-57   Homphobia               Homosexuals

58-60   Ithyphallophobia        Erect penises

61-63   Maieusiophobia          Childbirth

64-65   Malaxophobia            Flirting

66-67   Medectophobia           Contour of a penis which is visible

                                   through clothing

68-69   Menophobia              Menstration

70-74   Merinthophobia          Being bound

75-77   Necrophobia             Sex with the dead

78-79   Oneirogmophobia         Wet dreams

80-82   Paraphobia              Sexual Perversions

83-84   Phallophobia            Male genitalia

85-87   Primeisodophobia        Losing one's virginity

88-90   Proctophobia            Rectal intercourse

91      Sarmassophobia          Foreplay

92-93   Sexophobia              Opposite Sex

94      Spermophobia            Semen

95-96   Teratophobia            Bearing a monster

97-100  Virgivitiphobia         Rape



TABLE: Male Sexual Phobias



Die     Male

Roll    Sexual Phobias          Fear of

01-03   Agrophobia              Sexual Abuse

04-06   Algophobia              Sexual Pain

07-09   Anuptophobia            Being single

10-11   Aphenophobia            Physical Contact

12-14   Coitophobia             Sex

15-17   Coitus Oralis           Oral sex

18-20   Cyprianophobia          Prostitutes

21-23   Cypridophobia           Venerial Disease

24-25   Ejacuphobia             Ejaculation

26-28   Esodophobia             Virginity

29-31   Eurotophobia            Female Genetalia

32-37   Gamophobia              Marriage

38-39   Gymnophobia             Naked Bodies

40-44   Gynophobia              Women

45-48   Hedonophobia            Pleasure

49-53   Malaxophobia            Flirting

54-59   Medomalacophobia        Losing an erection

60-62   Merinthophobia          Being bound

63-67   Necrophobia             Sex with the dead

68-71   Oneirogmophobia         Wet dreams

72-76   Paraphobia              Sexual perversions

77-80   Parenthenophobia        Young girls, usually virgins

81-85   Penis Captivas          Having one's penis held tightly be

                                   vaginal muscles

86-89   Primeisodophobia        Losing one's virginity

90-92   Proctophobia            Rectal intercourse

93-95   Sarmassophobia          Foreplay

96-97   Sexophobia              Opposite sex

98-100  Venustaphobia           Beautiful women



Unus-????mania - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and

obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a

particular type of creature. The afflicted will furtively attempt to

seduce this type of creature (still of the opposite sex), whenever the

opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such

opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even

his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. When he/she

has sex with such a creature, he/she likes the creature to do weird

things relative to the creature's abilities and talents (see example

below). Of course some creatures maybe harder to get a hold of then

others. The table below is small and simplistic, GMs may add any

creatures he wants. Roll (1d20) on the following table to get the type

of creature that is desired:



      Mania

Roll  Name (????)    Type of Creature

 1    Daemon         Demons *

 2    Dimidiuselfe   Half-elves

 3    Divus          Dieties, Demigods, etc

 4    Draco          Dragons *

 5    Druidae        Druids

 6    Elfe           Elves *

 7    Giant          Giants *

 8    Gnome          Gnomes

 9    Gobla          Goblins

10    Gole           Golems *

11    Halfline       Halflings

12    Homo           Humans *

13    Lycanthrope    Lycanthropes *

14    Magus          Mages

15    Nanus          Dwarfs *

16    Nequam         Rogues

17    Ogra           Ogres

18    Pugna          Fighters

19    Sacerdos       Clerics

20    Vates          Bards



                                   * can be specific type



Example: A person with unus-sacerdosmania insanity will have a desire

to have sex with clerics. When having sex with cleric, he/she might

want the cleric to pray. A person with unus-pugnamania will only have

sex with fighters and might want the fighter to punch, scratch, and

wrestle during sex. A person with unus-vatesmania will only have sex

with bards and might want the bard to sing during sex.



Uridpsomania - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have the

desire to drink the urine of his/her partner. Check for an unhealthy

disease each time he/she drinks.



Voyeurism - The person affected by this insanity only has pleasure from

observing the other's sexual organs or people having sex, especially in

secret.



Zoophilia - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and

obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a

particular type of normal animal. The afflicted will furtively attempt

to seduce this type of animal (still of the opposite sex), whenever the

opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such

opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even

his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. The table

below is small and simplistic, GMs may add any animals he wants. Roll

(1d20) on the following table to get the type of creature that is

desired:



Roll           Animal              Roll         Animal

  1            dog                  11          mule

  2            horse                12          wolverine

  3            pig                  13          rhinoceros

  4            cat                  14          hippopotamus

  5            monkey               15          boar

  6            bear                 16          bull

  7            elephant             17          buffalo

  8            skunk                18          goat

  9            camel                19          sheep

 10            lion                 20          roll twice -ignore this



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                   ON SEX AND SEXUALITY IN THE REALMS





     "In general, there is a continent in the Realms is marked by

sexual equality; females and males are equally educated, respected,

valued, and eligible for all roles in society. This applies just as

well to southern lands, in which men often have several wives while

women have only one husband, although the Northerners and Southerners

often misunderstand each others' social structures. This is typical of

a widespread phenomenon throughout the Realms: in matters of courtship,

marriage, sex, and reproduction, as in most matters, there is enough

adventuring and trade that people are familiar with many foreign

customs; nevertheless, most people consider their own customs to be

civilized and proper, while all other customs are unjust and barbarian.

     There is a strong emphasis placed on the importance of marriage

throughout the Realms, although courtship, marriage ceremonies, and

family structures vary considerably. Marriage may be conducted by

clerics of almost every church, and the marriages of all faiths are

considered equally valid and binding. While sex is generally considered

more blessed after marriage, there is very little social stigma in the

lands of Faerun placed on premarital sex between consenting

hetero-sexual adults. The prevailing attitude seems to be that a young

woman and young man will choose (or be chosen for) one another, and

that the same mutual feelings that would inspire them to have sex will

lead them to want to be married.

     Of course, this ideal is often not satisfied. Trysts, whether

tragic or comically gone awry, are a favorite subject of bards. Rape is

all too common, and is strongly condemned by agents of Good, Chaos, and

Law, as violations of personal rights, individual autonomy, and stable

social order, respectively.

     Two variations in particular of this ideal face strong societal

disapproval: interracial and homosexual relations. Interracial

marriages are tacitly considered inferior. The elf who marries a human

is considered to have married beneath her station; her spouse will die

while she is still young, and her half-elven children will face great

discrimination and will never fully be able to participate in their

elven heritage. Similarly, half-orcs are considered somehow even more

tainted than orcs, possibly because of the unspoken assumption that

they are not only half-breed, but the half-breed offspring of rape.

     On a related note, although it is common knowledge that many

people and beasts of the Realms owe their existence to crossbreeding of

different species, we do not presently have an adequate explanation for

why some species can crossbreed with others and some can not, nor why

some crossbreeds, like mules, are sterile, and others, like half-elves,

are not.

     Homosexual couples are almost unheard of in the Realms, and then

they are a matter of scorn. Elm's scribe, is widely rumored to be

Elm's lover, and the arrangement is only tolerated because of Elm's

unapproachable high status and legendary eccentricity. Otherwise, homo-

sexuality is only discussed in malicious gossip and histories of family

scandals.

     Homosexuals are, however, rumored to be found in disproportionatly

high numbers among certain groups, such as adventurers, who have often

been driven to adventure because they couldn't quite fit into normal

society, and the priesthoods of faiths which require celibacy, since

the priests never need to explain their lack of interest in

conventional marriage. Of course, most people believe homosexuality to

be more common in groups they with which they have formed rivalries or

are actively hostile. Organized groups are said to have formed in large

cities, but their memberships and activities are highly guarded

secrets. Little scholarly data are known about the actual frequency of

homosexuals in the Realms, or about their relative distribution among

men, among women, and among the various races, nations, and

occupations.

     Sexual matters are not in the explicit portfolio of any major god

in the Realms, although strong cases might be made for the bewitching

goddess of beauty, and the sado-masochistically appealing goddess of

pain. A small cult has begun to grow praising the name of the Lord of

Sex and Carnality, whom I take to be either a new lesser power or else

a more explicitly sexual aspect of a more established god.

     The use of magic in sex has been extremely limited, due in part to

people's understandable reluctance to let mages or clerics experiment

on their sexual organs or psyches. The spells listed above should be

considered extremely rare. After all, only homosexuals and virulent

homo-phoebes would be likely to have spent their lives researching

spells concerning alternative sexualities, and even if such people are

not as uncommon as we think, they are certainly difficult to discover.

Most of the other known spells either use people's sexual desire as a

weapon against them, or show a marked obsession with artificially

enhancing the spellcaster's own sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, rare

are sexual spells designed to help others overcome sexual dysfunctions

or to enhance others' sexual pleasure, and it is this sage's humble

opinion that the most fruitful sexual research lies in this direction."



               - Respectfully compiled by Spelling of Amn,

                 Scholar, Sage, and Priest of Deneir,

                 for the Preservation of Knowledge

                 and Augmentation of Wisdom in the Realms



               - Reproduced for his Compatriot, Rick Dechance







                            SPELLS WITH ZIP





     All spells are listed for magic-users, but most can be easily

adjusted for clerical use and should be changed if need be.

     Spell levels are only provide as a measure for the spells in this

guide. The spell levels don't represent spell levels of any given RPG

system. Compare the power of the spells presented in this guide with

the level of spells in your game system and adjust the level

accordingly.

     Also, some may feel that certain spells are to powerful for the

level given. Before making such judgements, a person should examine

other spells of the same level and the level above.



Level 0 - Cantrip

Arousal                            Delay Orgasm

Know Sexual Preference             Mordenkainen's Lubrication

Mount                              Pillow Talk

Slap                               Sterility

Sexual Attraction                  Tweak/Goose

Unbutton/Unlace                    Wet Dream



Level 1

Annihilator's Penis of Power!      Blown Kiss

Change Sexual Preference           Charm Man I

Davenet's Seduction                Divine Sexual Orientation

Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss       Ecstasy

Fascination                        Flash

Freudian Thoughts                  Fyltar's Pheromonal Force

Impotence                          Kiss of Charm

Kiss Of Sleeping                   Kiss Of Wounding

Masturbation                       Power Word, Rut

PMS                                Reverse Sexual Orientation

Revulsion                          Seduce Undead

Seduction I Skank



Level 2

Chastity                           Constant Orgasm

Contraception                      Dance of Charm

Homophobia                         Jealously

Layla's Good Morning Kiss          Kiss Of Weakness

Neville's Wandering Hand           Pornographic Glamer

Protection From Intoxication       Sexify/Enhance Comeliness

Sleep Theft                        Transfer Charm

Vampiric Kiss                      Voyeur



Level 3

Kiss Of Slavery                    Kiss of Intoxication

Leomund's Tiny Brothel             Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes

Sex Slave                          Stanza's Diseased Kiss

Obsession                          Prowess



Level 4

Angel's Negation                   Become Phantasmal Lover

Bybig's Bitch Slap                 Layla's Morning After Kiss

Layla's Seductive Impersonation    Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity

Lovesickness                       Power Word, Strip

Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease   Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease



Level 5

Embarrassing Fetish                Layla's Beautification

Reverse Gender Orientation         Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss...



Level 6

Conjure Succubus/Incubus           Prismatic Dildo

Sex Change



Level 7

Impregnate                         Layla's Seductive Shapechange



Level 8

Kiss Of The Nereid                 Power Word, Castrate



Level 9

Heartbreaker                       Kiss Of Death

Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair  Summon Cissaldan







Arousal (Enchantment) Reversible



Level: Cantrip

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: creature touched

Save: Neg.



     This spell creates a state of extreme horniness in the affected

creature, including both biological and physiological effects, although

said horniness is not directed towards anyone or anything in

particular. The reverse of this spell, Disinterest, completely snuffs

out any lust the recipient might be feeling. The material component for

this spell is a sprig of mistletoe.





Contraception (Abjuration)



Level: Cantrip

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: None



     An alternative to the Sterility Cantrip for GMs that don't like

100% protection. This cantrip significantly decreases the probability

of fertilization following coitus. This cantrip is cast after sexual

activity. In some cases this may not be Lawful, and in some may not be

considered Good.  The cantrip is also not entirely perfect, offering

only 95% certainty, according to the following table:



     Roll %    Result

     01-95     no fertilization

        96     no fertilization anyway

        97     one zygote

        98     two zygotes (possibly identical)

        99     1d6 zygotes

        00     both partners pregnant (magic gone awry)



     The material component for this spell is a red cape or a red

riding hood.





Delay Orgasm (All Schools)



Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Neg.



     This cantrip delays any orgasm by 1 round per level of the caster.

Thus, if the TTC indicates an orgasm, it doesn't go into effect until

+1 round/level.





Know Sexual Preference (Divination) Reversible



Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature per 2 rounds

Save: Neg.



     This cantrip enables the wizard to read the aura of a creature.

The caster must remain stationary and concentrate on the subject for

two full rounds. A creature is allowed a save vs. spell and, if

successful, the caster learns nothing about the particular creature

from the casting. Certain magical devices negate this cantrip.

     The reverse, undetectable sexual alignment, conceals the sexual

preference of a creature for 24 hours - even from a know sexual

preference cantrip.





Mordenkainen's Lubrication (Conjuration)



Level: Cantrip

Range: 1 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 10 minutes/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 10" X 3" (rumor has it that Mordenkainen

                needed this large amount of coverage)

Save: None



     This cantrip covers an organic surface with a slippery layer of a

greasy nature.





Mount (Conjuration/Summoning)



Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 2 hours/level

Casting Time: 1 turn

Area of Effect: 1 mount

Save: None



     By means of this cantrip, the caster conjures a very attractive

person of the opposite sex to serve him/her. The person serves

willingly and well, but at the expiration of the cantrip duration it

disappears, returning to its own place. The mount does not come with

any gear or clothes. The mount can't do anything but perform basic

sexual acts.

     This cantrip was created by conjurer apprentices to practice their

art. It is only a cantrip because the conjured being, only serves one

purpose (a fun purpose, but not a practical purpose).





Pillow Talk (Alteration)



Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 pillow

Save: None



     When this cantrip is cast, the wizard imbues the chosen pillow

with an enchanted mouth. The mouthed pillow will only speak about

sexual topics. The wizard has the option at cast time to decide the

level of vargarity. The level varies from perverse smut to intellectual

discussions on sexual techniques.





Slap (All Schools)



Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: Neg.



Explanation: The victim of this spell feels a forceful slap across the

cheek. Creatures must save vs. spell or be distracted for one segment,

dazed by the blow (lose concentration of spells, etc.).





Sterility (All Schools)



Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 30 minutes/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: None



     This cantrip is the mages' form of birth control. It is 100%

accurate and can be performed on anybody who consents to it prior to

sexual activity. Clerics have high level spells to accomplish this, but

only mages have such a simplistic form of birth control.





Sexual Attraction (All Schools) Reversible



Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 30 minutes/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: None



     This cantrip causes the recipient to gain a +1 modifier for every

three levels of the mage to charisma with respect to having sex. Thus,

this spell won't effect any other aspects of charisma; only sex.

     Most mages cast the cantrip on his/her partner, so the partner is

more desirable thus making it easier for the mage to perform.

     The reverse of this cantrip is Sexual Disgust. The modifier is -1

for every three levels of the mage rather than +1.





Tweak/Goose (All Schools)



Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: Special



     This cantrip causes the victim to feel the sensation of being

"tweaked" or "goosed" as if by an unseen forefinger and thumb. The

portion of the body being tweaked must be seen by the caster and be

uncovered by armor. Victim's who are spellcasters must either save vs.

spell or make an Intelligence check to avoid losing concentration.

Other intelligent, small, and medium sized creatures must make same

save/check or be distracted for one segment. The caster must make a

tweaking motion with his hand in order to affect the spell.





Unbutton/Untie (Alteration) Reversible



Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Instant

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One object

Save: None



     By means of this cantrip, the caster can magically cause the

object of the magic - thread, string, cord, rope, button - to untie

or unbutton itself. The reverse ties or buttons the object.

     A stronger spell in the works is Power Word: Disrobe.





Wet Dream (Invocation/Illusion)



Level: Cantrip

Range: Special

Components: V, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1 round

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This cantrip consists of a whispered word to another individual,

who will not hear or understand the word, and who will experience a

dream erotic enough to produce orgasm the next time that person falls

asleep. The material component is a feather tinged with blood.





Annihilator's Penis of Power! (Evocation)



Level: 1

Range: 18" or less (usually much less for many spell-casters)

Components: V, S

Duration: till the mage is done

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: obvious

Save: Special



     With this spell the caster (male) empowers his penis with a steel-

hard covering able to withstand any Bobbit attack or penis-puncturing

device. Also, it is powerful enough to rupture most chastity belts,

magic ones get a save at -4. It is also a benefit for those who suffer

impotence, and has been rumored to assist in preventing sexually-

transmitted diseases and pre-mature ejaculation! A spell to truly share

with friends!

     Don't ask what the somatic gestures are.





Blown Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: 12 feet

Components: S

Duration: --

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: --

Save: --



     This spell enhances a kissing spell by allowing its range to

become long range instead of by touch. This spell must be cast 1 round

prior to the kissing spell. Any kissing spell may be used in

conjunction with this spell. Note that this allows the caster to blow a

kiss to those that may not desire one. Thus, the problems with physical

contact during combat and such have been eliminated.





Change Sexual Preference (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: 120 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: Neg.



     This spell affects any single person it is cast upon.  The term

person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or humanoid of man-size

or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls, halflings, kobolds, and

others.

     The person receives a save vs. spell to avoid the effect, with any

adjustment due to Wisdom. If the person receives damage from the

caster's group in the same round the spell is cast, an additional bonus

of +1 per hit point of damage received is added to the victim's save.

     If the spell recipient fails his save, his sexual preference is

changed to the opposite. Thus a man who liked women would now prefer

other men.

     The duration of the spell is a function of the charmed person's

Intelligence and is tied to the save. The spell may be broken if a

successful save is rolled, and this save is checked on a periodic

basis, according to the creature's Intelligence (see following table).



     Intelligence Score        Time Between Checks

         3 or less                  3 months

         4 to 6                     2 months

         7 to 9                     1 month

        10 to 12                    3 weeks

        13 to 14                    2 weeks

        15 to 16                    1 week

           17                       3 days

           18                       2 days

        19 or more                  1 day



     The GM must make sure that the spell recipient adheres to the

effects of the spell, but it isn't necessary to go into detail.





Charm Man I (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: 16 feet radius

Components: V, S

Duration: 1d4+1 turns

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: 1d4+4 men of 3 HD/level or lower

Save: see below



     This spell is used by witches and houris, but other clever mages

should be able to adjust the spell for their needs. A witch must have a

Charisma score of at least 11 to cast this spell.

     It affects victims the same as a charm person spell. If there is a

leader  with a group of men, he may dispel the charm if his charisma

plus a roll of 1d8 is six points or more higher than the witch's

charisma. If the spell is not dispelled by a leader, each man within

the area of effect must attempt a save vs. spells. A successful save

negates the effect of the spell for that man only. If there are more

men within range than a maximum number who can be affected, the spell

is directed against the lower-level men first. The spell won't work on

any man who has taken damage from any other action of the same witch

during the current encounter.

     There are four level variations of this spell (Charm Man II at

third level, Charm Man III at fifth level). They are listed here

instead of throughout the guide for convenience. The spells and the

difference in duration and area of effect are as followed:

     Charm Man II   - 1d6+4 turns   1d6+6 men of 4 HD/level or lower

     Charm Man III  - 1d8+4 turns   1d8+8 men of 5 HD/level or lower

     Charm Man IV   - 1d10+4 turns  1d10+10 men of 6 HD/level or lower

     Charm Man V    - 1d12+4 turns  1d12+12 men of 8 HD/level or lower





Davenet's Seduction (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: Special

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Permanent or until dispelled

Casting time: 1 hour

Area of Effect: One person

Save: see below



     The spellcaster may affect one individual of the opposite sexual

orientation to become enamored with the spellcaster and willingly

subject to all of his/her commands. That the victim has been seduced

(magically or otherwise) will be readily apparent to those who make a

successful wisdom check. In order to cast the spell, the spellcaster

must extract a personal item of the victim's, and then cast the spell

onto the item in solitude. When the item is given back to the victim

and recognized, the spell is complete.

     The victim is allowed a special save on a d20 based on

intelligence. The roll is modified by adding the victim's wisdom and

subtracting the spellcaster's apparent charisma (OPTIONAL: comeliness).

The spell is effective until dispelled.

     While under the enchantment, the victim will take as gospel

everything the spellcaster says, and will strive to protect and defend

the spellcaster at all times. If the spell is broken by another magic

or by the will of the enchanter, however, the victim will remember

everything and know that magic was involved.





Divine Sexual Orientation (Divination) Reversible



Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None



     This spell reveals the hetero- or homo-sexuality of a given

creature of a species with two genders. The material component is a

clear, colorless gem, which changes colors as follows:



     red             totally heterosexual

     orange          strongly heterosexual

     yellow          bisexual leaning towards hetero-

     green           50/50 bisexual

     blue            bisexual leaning towards homo-

     violet          strongly homosexual

     ultraviolet     totally homosexual



          * Sage's note: This is simply the Kinsey scale of sexuality.



     In normal daylight, of course, ultraviolet will not show clearly,

and will appear to anyone without infravision as lavender. The creature

being scried must be alive and visible to the caster. The method of

sight -infravision, scrying, clairvoyance, etc. - does not matter.

Portraits, illusions, or statues, however, will not suffice. The gem

will remain white, indicating spell failure, if the creature is

asexual, its attractions are completely unrelated to gender, or is

magically protected, as by the reverse spell, Hide Sexual Orientation,

which conceals sexual orientation from magical or psionic detection for

24 hours.

     Sage's note: although psionics are still a young and arcane

discipline in the Realms, it has been demonstrated that the psionic

science of Aura Sight can reveal sexual orientation, especially when

the subject has expended a great deal of psychic energy on sex or

sexuality.





Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None



     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended

victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in

combat). The mage is in control and can decided how long to kiss. After

the kiss, both the mage and the victim are stunned for 1 segment per

round of kissing.





Ecstasy (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: 5 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: Neg.



     The gestures of the wizard, along with his erotic incantations

causes the person to go into an enjoyable, screaming, orgasmatic,

erotic fit. The term person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or

humanoid of giant-size or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls,

halflings, kobolds, and others.

     The person receives a save vs. spell to avoid the effect, with any

adjustment to Wisdom. If the person fails the save, he/she loses all

dexterity bonuses to armor class. Also, he/she cannot move from his/her

current location. He/she cannot cast spells, attack, use items, etc.

Basically, the character is caught up in a real pleasurable experience

and can't function properly.





Fascination (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: 12 feet

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 20 turns

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.



     The affecting person will be unable to do anything at all except

follow the mage wherever she/he goes, unable to take his/her eyes off

her/him. If attacked, the affected will try to beat off any opponents,

including his own comrades, in a berserk fury (+1 to hit, -1 to AC) in

order to continue moving towards the mage.





Flash (Enchantment)



Level: 1

Range: 10 yards/level

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature per level of the caster

Save: 1/2 duration



     In casting this spell, the mage must expose a body part (knee,

thigh, shoulder, or something more sensitive, as the caster desires)

and call out something appropriate. It will only affect members of the

opposite sex or homosexuals. It will cause all creatures affected to be

stunned by the incredible attractiveness of the body part they have

just seen exposed.





Freudian Thoughts (Invocation/Illusion)



Level: 1

Range: Within hearing range of the subject

Components: V, M

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     Sage's Note: This is a great role-playing vehicle for some

players if there characters get this spell cast on them. It could be

real fun having a pervert for a character.

     A person subject to this spell begins consciously and

subconsciously to interpret everything in sexual terms. For example,

the subject would perceive a sword attack not only as melee but also as

an attempted rape by a male, and would experience eating a taco

as... well, you get the idea.

     The material component is the caster's holy symbol, and the verbal

component is a lewd innuendo.





Fyltar's Pheromonal Force (Illusion/Phantasm)



Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: S, M

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 10 yards

Save: Neg.



     This spell functions as the Arousal cantrip (see above) with two

minor adjustments. First, creatures which cannot smell are

automatically unaffected. Secondly, it raises the morale of all

affected creatures by 1d4. The material component is a rose petal,

crushed during casting.





Impotence (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: 5 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 10 rounds/level

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Neg.



        This spell enables the spell caster to render one creature,

himself or otherwise, impotent (incapable of sexual intercourse). The

material component is a bucket of cold water. The incantation consists

of a specific personality (such as "Baba Yaga") who might be

unappealing to the creature.  The save is actually a check on the

disgust the personality generates in the creature. If the creature

finds the person repulsive, he fails the save.

        OPTIONAL EFFECT: During the period of impotence, the creature

will attack at -2 and make morale and saves at -2. Wisdom,

Constitution, and Charisma scores will be lowered by 1-3 points each

for the duration of the spell. Also, during this time the creature will

feel downright miserable.





Kiss of Charm (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.



     This subtle spell works like a charm person spell, except that the

target must be male and that the caster must be female and kiss her

target. The target saves at -2. Otherwise this spell acts just like a

charm person spell.





Kiss Of Sleeping (Enchantment/Charm) Reversible



Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: 10/level

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None



     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended

victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in

combat). After the kiss, the victim goes into a deep comatose slumber.

     Slapping or wounding awakens the affected creature but normal

noise does not. Awakening requires one entire round.

     The reverse of this spell is Kiss Of Awakening which will awaken a

person who is magically asleep.





Kiss Of Wounding (Conjuration/Summoning)



Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: 1/2



     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended

victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in

combat). This kiss causes the victim to suffer 1d3 hit points of

damage, plus 3 points for each level of experience of the spellcaster,

to a maximum of 1d3+20 points. Those successfully saving vs. spell

receive half damage.





Masturbation (Enchantment)



Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: S, M

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Neg.



     This spell causes the horniness of Arousal with the added

irresistible urge to masturbate with any and all external sexual

organs. This spell functions like a combination of an Arousal cantrip

with a command to "masturbate!" If no appendages are free for this

purpose, the subject will rub the sexual organs against any nearby

functional object. The material component is two pieces of cloth,

rubbed quickly against one another.





Power Word, Rut (Conjuration/Summoning)



Level: 1

Range: 5 yards/two level

Components: V

Duration: 1 hour/level

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One male mammal

Save: None



     When this spell is cast, the recipient gains a condition of sexual

excitement and productive activity. This reflects in the recipient as a

gain a +2 modifier for every three levels of the mage to dexterity with

respect to having sex.  Thus, this spell won't effect any other aspects

of dexterity; only sex. Also due to his hyper state, the recipient

gains a +1 to hit. Furthermore, two points of intelligence and one

point of wisdom is lost; and one point of charisma is gained.  These

bonuses end when the spell ends.





PMS (Conjuration) Reversible



Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: one creature

Save: 1/2



     PMS causes the subject to experience an unceasing, agonizing, dull

throbbing pain throughout the groin and lower abdomen, as though all

the muscles in that area were clenched like a vise. THAC0 and all

saves are treated as if the subject were one level lower (a 0th-level

or 1st-level character automatically misses or fails), and Constitution

and Charisma are reduced by 1 for the duration of the spell. A

successful save results in a nagging headache reducing Constitution and

Charisma by 1 for the duration of the spell.





Reverse Sexual Orientation (Alteration)



Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special; Permanent, with save once/day

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Special; see below



     This spell temporarily converts a creature's sexual orientation

from hetero- to homo-sexual, or vice versa.  A bisexual who favors one

gender will now favor the other, and a bisexual equally disposed

towards both genders will be unaffected.  Asexual creatures or

creatures of species with more than two genders will be affected, if at

all, by GM's discretion.

     There is no save per se against this spell. Rather, upon first

experiencing sexual attraction in the altered way, or upon first

questioning one's unexpected lack of accustomed sexual attraction, the

subject, if strenuously disapproving, is allowed a Constitution check

at -4.  A successful Constitution check will experience a strong but

repressive erotic attraction towards a single individual for 1

round/level of the spellcaster, after which the effects permanently

vanish.  A new Constitution check may be made once per day, but with a

cumulative  penalty of -1 per day.  A check of 1 always succeeds.

     The material component is a concave lump of clay which the caster

re-molds into a convex lump.





Revulsion (Enchantment) Reversible



Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: creature touched

Save: Neg.



     Successful casting of the Revulsion spell leaves the recipient

disgusted to the point of nausea at any prospect of engaging in sexual

activities of any kind, no matter how minor. The reverse of this spell,

Indifference, eliminates any negative thoughts or feelings the

recipient may have and replaces them with utter indifference. The

material component of this spell is a leech or the eye of a tuna.





Seduce Undead (Necromancy)



Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 24 hours

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 undead + (1 undead /

                every 2 levels above 9th of the caster)

Save: None



     This spell creates a standing order with one (or more) undead to

engage in sexual behavior of the caster's choice with the caster. The

undead will make no effort to harm the caster, although disease from a

zombie's touch or mummy rot, for example, may (un)naturally occur.

Each orgasm achieved by the caster causes 1d6 damage to the undead.

The material component is a drop of semen mixed with menstrual blood.





Seduction I (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: 6 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 2 turns or until dispelled

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person (4 HD/levels or less)

Save: see below



     This spell is used by witches (some warlocks have customized it

for their use). This spell causes the affected person to cast aside all

weapons, armor, and clothing, in an attempt to seduce the witch,

leaving the victim virtually defenseless against attacks from the witch

or any other character or creature. Immediately after the spell wears

off or is dispelled, the victim can retrieve one of his dropped weapons

on a roll of 11 or more on 1d20. If the roll is 16 or more, the victim

may also retrieve a shield or helmet. Rolls may be repeated each round

until successful, as long as the victim stays within grasping range of

the weapon or other object to be recovered.

     Saves are a straight throw versus spells, modified by Wisdom only

(no magical protection device apply). Furthermore, the

victim saves at -1 for every two points of Charisma of the caster above

12, rounded up (i.e. -1 at charisma 13 or 14, -2 at 15 or 16, -3 at 17

or 18). This save gives characters or creatures with a decent Wisdom a

better chance of save vs. spells, tones the power down a bit, and makes

the calculation of saves much easier than the original method that

appears below.

     ALTERNATIVE SAVE: The save for this spell is computed by adding

the seduction spell level (1 through 8) to the charisma score of the

witch and subtracting the wisdom score of the intended victim. The

resulting number is used as a modifier (plus or minus) to a roll of

1d20. The adjusted die roll must be equal to or greater than a certain

number, depending on the class of the intended victim, for the save to

be successful. Fighters need a 13 to save, rogues need a 12, mages need

a 9, and clerics need a 8.

     There are seven level variations of this spell (Seduction II at

second level, Seduction III at third level). They are listed here

instead of throughout the guide for convenience.  The spells and the

difference in area of effect are as followed:

     Seduction II   - One person (6 HD/levels or less)

     Seduction III  - One person (8 HD/levels or less)

     Seduction IV   - One person (10 HD/levels or less)

     Seduction V    - One person (12 HD/levels or less)

     Seduction VI   - One person (14 HD/levels or less)

     Seduction VII  - One person (16 HD/levels or less)

     Seduction VIII - One person (18 HD/levels or less)





Skank (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 5 rounds/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: Creature touched

Save: Neg.



     This spell turns an innocent, sweet person into a wild and crazy

nymphomaniac. The affected person will be struck by the nymphomania

insanity for the duration of the spell.

     This spell is very popular with apprentices at school who like to

cast it on snaughty, preppy girls.





Chastity (Abjuration) Reversible



Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: Creature touched

Save: Neg.



     This spell compels the affected creature to abstain completely

from any and all forms of sexual activity, including looking

appreciatively but with sexual undertones, going to whatever lengths

necessary to avoid anything which might lead to lust. The reverse,

Promiscuity, compels the subjects to attempt to engage in their most

preferred sexual activities as much and as quickly as possible. The

material component of this spell is a small silver key.





Constant Orgasm (Evocation)



Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: 1/2



     This spell causes the recipient to begin to orgasm, repeatedly,

and with great enjoyment, until the subject's body is no longer capable

of sustaining orgasm. The duration is based on level, but medically

speaking, it could end when the body collapses from exhaustion, or (for

males) when the body can produce no more seminal fluid. The GM may wish

to add possible negative modifiers for combat, movement, etc. because

of the victim's excited state. A successful save results in a single

orgasm of normal duration.





Dance of Charm (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 2

Range: 10 yards

Components: S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: Variable

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.



     This spell charms one person of the opposite sex selected by the

caster. It is subtle, and its casting cannot be detected before it is

completed. The caster dances a seductive dance and disrobes while doing

so. For every round he/she dances, a -1 penalty is imposed on the

save.





Homophobia (Abjuration) Convertible



Level: 2

Range: 20 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 3

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.



     Homophobia causes a person, regardless of orientation, to become

angry and nauseous at the concept or sight of any person or behavior

which might be construed as homosexual. The subject will attempt to

evade and void any such thing and, if evasion proves impossible,

hostile and even violent.

     Homosexuals affected by this spell will be constantly ill at ease.

The converse spell, Heterophobia, has exactly the same effects, except

that the aversion is towards heterosexuals and heterosexuality.

The material component is a lump of moldy cheese shaped like a triangle

(or a square, for the converse).





Jealousy (Alteration)



Level: 2

Range: 6 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 2 turns + 1 turn/level

Casting time: 2

Area of Effect: 1-6 persons

Save: Neg.



     The affected people will become jealous of each other to the

extent that they will ignore the mage or any other source of danger

present and quarrel amongst themselves. There is a chance equal to the

mage's intelligence of such an argument leading to blows and, if it

does, there is an additional chance equal to the mage's intelligence of

the fight being to the death.  If the fight is not to the death, then

the combatants will come out of the spell when hit.





Layla's Good Morning Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None



     This spell wakes up a normally sleeping creature and causes it to

be favourably disposed toward the caster for 1d6 turns. It also removes

any natural hangovers.





Kiss Of Weakness (Conjuration/Summoning)



Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended

victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in

combat). This kiss causes the victim to lose 2d4 points of Strength for

24 hours. After receiving such a kiss, the victim will be completely

helpless for 1d10 turns.





Neville's Wandering Hand (Enchantment)



Level: 2

Range: 20 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Neg.



     Neville's Wandering Hand is named not after its inventor, but its

first victim: Neville, high priest of Torm, who suddenly found himself

unable to keep from groping and otherwise feeling up the young nubile

acolyte he was initiating into the order. (We hear that his latest

missionary assignment to the Icewind Dale is going nicely.) The

material component is a leaf of poison ivy.





Protection From Intoxication (Abjuration)



Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 hour/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This spell causes the recipient to be immune to the effects of any

kind of alcohol. It also grants immunity to the Houri spell Kiss of

Intoxication.





Pornographic Glamer (Illusion/Phantasm)



Level: 2

Range: Special

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: Within a 10'x10' vertical square

Save: Neg.



     This spell creates a very convincing, erotic illusion with the

phantasmal effect of an Arousal cantrip nobody who would ordinarily be

sexually excited by engaging in the behavior or by the objects or

people being viewed. The illusion includes visual and auditory effects

only.





Sexify/Enhance Comeliness (Alteration)



Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting time: 2

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     The recipient of this spell undergoes a transformation in

appearance to become more sexually attractive to members of the

opposite gender no matter what the recipient's initial comeliness.

Looks, smell, smoothness, and even taste of the outer skin are all

effected. The recipient's comeliness is effected as follows:



Caster's

 Level    Comeliness  Duration

  01          14      10 minutes

  02          15      20 minutes

  03          16      30 minutes

  04          17      1 hour

  05          18      2 hours

  06          19      4 hours

  07          20      8 hours

  08          21      16 hours

  09          22      1 day

  10          23      2 days

  11          24      4 days

  12          25      8 days

  13          26      16 days

  14          27      32 days

  15          28      64 days

  16          29      128 days

  17+         30      256 days



     Note that if two mages cast the spell on a person simultaneously,

then their levels may be added together to effect a stronger magic.

Further, this spell has the effect of negating any curse magic which

degrades the recipient's natural beauty.

     The material component of this spell is a cosmetic and perfume kit

magically prepared by a thaumaturger.





Sleep Theft (Alteration/Necromantic)



Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: Special

Area of Effect: Special

Save: None



     This spell allows the caster to steal sleeping time from their

sexual partner. The caster makes love with a person, and once that

person's climaxes he/she falls asleep for one hour per caster level, to

a maximum of 12 hours. The caster is refreshed just as if she had slept

for that length of time.





Transfer Charm (Enchantment/Alteration)



Level: 2

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: as for the spell transferred

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This spell allows a caster of higher level to subvert previous

magical charms to his own purposes. For example: Erin, a second level

mage casts Charm Person on a Bryce, who becomes charmed. Anna, a third

level mage casts Transfer Charm onto Bryce, whereupon Bryce becomes

Charmed to Anna. However, Deneira, another third level mage, cannot

Transfer the charm to herself, as she is not higher level than Anna.





Vampiric Kiss (Necromancy)



Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None



     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended

victim on the neck and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e.

not in combat). After the kiss, the victim will lose 2 hit points per

round. The caster will receive one of those hit points per round if

he/she is not at maximum hit points already.





Voyeur (Alteration)



Level: 2

Range: 20 feet

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 2 rounds/level

Casting time: 2

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     A voyeur is a person who derives sexual gratification from

observing the sex organs especially in secret. Thus, this spell allows

the wizard to see through a person's clothing and examine sexual

organs. Of course the gratification part must be achieved solely by the

mage. The material component of the spell is a small piece of cloth and

a small piece of glass.



Kiss of Intoxication (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: 1 turn/level of the caster

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This spell causes the victim to become completely drunk. He/she

enters a state of great intoxication.





Kiss Of Slavery (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended

victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in

combat). This is actually a Charm Person spell with no save.  Checks to

break such a charm are made after twice the normal duration.  The

victim of this spell will obey any order unquestioningly.





Leomund's Tiny Brothel (Alteration)



Level: 3

Range: 0

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 5 hours + 1 hour/level

Casting time: 3

Area of Effect: 15-foot-diameter sphere

Save: None



     When this spell is cast, the wizard creates an unmoving, opaque,

sound-proof field of any desired color around his person.  Up to 7

other man-sized creatures can fit into the field with its creator, and

these can freely pass into and out of the brothel without harming it,

but if the spellcaster removes himself from it, the spell dissipate.

     The temperature inside the hut is a cool 60 degrees Fahrenheit, if

the exterior temperature is between 0 and 100 degrees. An exterior

temperature below 0 and above 100 lowers or raises, respectively, the

interior temperature on a 1 degree-for-1 degree basis. The tiny brothel

also provides protection against the elements, such as rain, dust,

sandstorms, and the like. The hut can withstand any wind of less than

hurricane force without being harmed, but wind force greater than that

destroys it.

     The interior of the hut is a hemisphere; the spellcaster can

illuminate it dimly upon command, or extinguish the light as desired.

The floor of the hut is soft and springy. Nice big cushy pillows are

also in the brothel. The spellcaster can cause the brothel play soft

romantic music upon command.  Note that although the force field is

opaque from the outside, it is transparent from within.  Missiles,

weapons, and most spell effects can pass through the hut without

affecting it, although the occupants cannot be seen from outside the

hut.  The hut can be dispelled.

     The material component for this spell is a small crystal bead that

shatters when the spell duration expires or the brothel is dispelled,

the hair of a prostitute, and a feather (duck feathers work best).





Obsession (Enchantment)



Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 3

Area of Effect: Person touched

Save: Neg.



     A person under the effect of Obsession is overwhelmed by the

erotic desire for some animate creature chosen by the spellcaster.

A "crush" does not begin to describe the effect. The creature must be

such that the affected person might feel some attraction towards it

under normal circumstances, and the affected person will not act

contrary to alignment or personal ethic. The material component is a

crushed walnut.





Prowess (Alteration) Reversible



Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: 24 hours

Casting Time: 3

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None (None for reverse as well)



     This spell impressively enhances the size, shape, technique,

stamina, and eroticism of the affected creature with respect to organs

and matters sexual. Affected creatures are treated as having a Charisma

of 18 by anyone they cruise or flirt with, they become stunningly well-

endowed, and they are capable of engaging in extremely hot sex without

rest (bonus of +level X 1d4) to all sexual rolls.

     The reverse, Impotence, makes the subject flirt like a clod, dance

like an orc, and seduce like a used-chariot salesman. The subject will

experience appropriate withering, shrinking, and sagging, and will be

unable to achieve erection or lubrication. Affected creatures are

treated as having a Charisma of 3 by anyone they cruise or flirt with.

Orgasm is either impossible or else premature and highly unsatisfying.

     The material component is a leaf of mint.





Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes (Illusion/Phantasm)



Level: 3

Range: 5 yards/level

Components: V, S

Duration: 2 rds/level

Casting time: 3

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.



     This spell, devised by my gnome illusionist primarily as a good

prank spell, causes all of the target's clothing and bodily possessions

to become invisible, but not the target itself. The target sees his or

her clothes as they normally are. Swords in scabbards are considered

bodily possessions, but not if in hand. Any clothes put on after the

spell is cast do not become invisible. Invisible items remain so until

the for the duration of the spell or dispelled.





Sex Slave (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 3

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 day/level

Casting Time: 3

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Neg.



     This very powerful spell reduces a living, intelligent person into

a lascivious, nymphomaniac sex slave whose only interest is bringing

the caster to orgasm after creative orgasm. Once the spell has

transpired, the former slave remembers everything that has happened.

However, the subject while enslaved will not only not object but will

enthusiastically agree with every sexual suggestion made short of

death. This spell is unequivocally evil.





Stanza's Diseased Kiss (Necromancy)

Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent until cured

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect:  One person

Save: Neg.



     This spell causes one randomly chosen normal sexual disease in the

victim.





Angel's Negation (Enchantment/Abjuration)



Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This spell instantly negates the obsessive-compulsive behaviour

caused by a Seducer, and renders the recipient immune to the

non-magical charms of that Seducer.





Become Phantasmal Lover (Illusion/Phantasm)



Level: 4

Range: 5 yards /level

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Until the next morning

Casting Time: As long as it takes (see below)

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Special



     When this spell is cast, the wizard causes his features to shift

in the mind of his victim to conform to those of an individual that the

victim considers to the ultimate lover.  Once the spell is successfully

cast (and the save varies according to the amount of preparation in

casting the spell), the recipient will be putty in the hands of the

caster, not out of enchantment but only out of the recipient's own

sense of wish-fulfillment.

     This spell takes as much time to cast as it takes to get the

recipient drunk. The more thoroughly tanked the recipient gets, the

worse will be the save:



          had a serving of alcohol          -1

          Slightly intoxicated              -2

          Moderately intoxicated            -4

          Greatly intoxicated               -8



     The material component of this spell is large quantities of

alcohol, which must be passed through the gullet of the recipient.





Bybig's Bitch Slap (Evocation)



Level: 4

Range: 10 yards/level

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting time: 4

Area of Effect: One female

Save: Neg.



     A version of the Bybig's Hand spells (although probably not from

Bybig). A quasi-real hand (five feet) comes into existence and smacks

the nearest women that the caster commands it to. If the woman knows

her place is in the kitchen, the hand only does 1 point of damage as a

reminder. However if the woman has complained, whined or not been to

the kitchen in three days, the hand instantly grows to the size of a

Titan hand (25 feet) and knocks the woman into the nearest kitchen (be

it 10 feet or 10000 miles) and forces her to cook a three course meal.

If she continuously refuses, the hand will inflict damage on her until

she submits (GM's decision on damage per hit).

     The hand has as many hit points as the caster in full health and

has an Armor Class of 0.

     The material component of the spell is a leather glove.





Layla's Morning After Kiss (Alteration)



Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.



     This spell causes a sleeping being to forget up to one turn of

action, per level of the caster (the caster may make the window of

forgetfulness shorter, if he wishes), that occurred just before he fell

asleep. The caster may remove the forgetfulness at will.





Layla's Seductive Impersonation (Alteration)



Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 day/level

Casting Time: 5

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This spell allows the caster to change his form to that of another

seductive being for an extended period of time. He retains all of his

own abilities, and gains all of the natural abilities though none of

the magical abilities of the creature chosen. There is no danger of

identity loss as with a Polymorph. The types of beings that may be

impersonated are as follows: dryad, succubus, nereid, sirine, medusa,

mermaid, sylph, unicorn, vampire, foxwoman. Other similar beings may be

allowed at the discretion of the GM, as the spell works by allowing

similar types of creatures to become similar types of creatures, rather

than the specific forms being locked into the spell.





Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity (Enchantment/Necromancy) Reversible



Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This spell inflicts one random sexual insanity. The reverse spell,

Layla's Reforming Kiss, removes one sexually-related insanity. It does

not affect any other forms of insanity.





Lovesickness (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 4

Range: 6 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 4

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.



     This spell makes its recipient become so much in love with the

mage that as soon as she/he loses sight of the mage, the victim begins

to waste away. The victim stops eating food, turns to drinking, and

becomes a general wreck, fighting at a -5. As a result, she/he will die

of malnutrition in a number of days equal to her/his Constitution score

plus 10, and there is a 10% chance of her/him committing suicide.

What's more, if the mage tells her/him to go away, she/he is compelled

to do so. This unpleasant condition may wear off as a charm person, but

otherwise must be treated by cure disease.





Power Word, Strip (Enchantment/Charm)



Level: 4

Range: 10 yards/2 levels

Component: V

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This spell causes one person to take off all of his armour,

clothing, weapons, jewelery, etc. as quickly as possible. [inspired by

Tomas from the Unbearable Lightness of Being novel]





Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease (Necromancy) Reversible



Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This spell inflicts one normal sexual disease of the caster's

choice. The reverse, Stanza's Kiss of Curing, removes one normal sexual

disease.





Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease (Necromancy)



Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.



     This spell inflicts one random magical sexual disease.





Embarrassing Fetish (Enchantment)



Level: 5

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special; Permanent, with save once/day

Casting Time: 8

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Special; see below



     Sage's note: this spell leaves much room for creative

spellcasting, but is also very restricted and narrowly defined. Please

read with care.

     With this spell, the caster can instill in one intelligent

creature an erotic fascination with a single kind of object, behavior

(such that the sight, smell, sound, etc.). A sample of that designated

kind of object or behavior arouses the subject uncontrollably, and such

that erotic pleasure or orgasm is impossible without the presence of

the fetish object or behavior.

     Some representative examples of fetish objects are red hair,

spiked heels, whips, jewelled short swords, oak leaves, artificial

limbs or amputees, green tunics, tuna, cheese, sheep, gnomes, gnolls,

red dragons' tongues, royal guards in uniform, children, octogenarians,

members of one's immediate family, psionicists, rangers, mermaids,

lawful neutrals, and Red Wizards of Thay. Some representative examples

of fetish behaviors are having small insects and snails crawl all over

one's body, inflicting pain on another person, inflicting pain on

oneself, being strangled, strangling another person, being bound,

binding another person, being charmed or commanded, staging one's own

mock execution, and innkeepers' daughters pouring beer down one's

chest.

     This spell is extremely versatile and may be made as detailed and

kinky as desired. Extremely detailed or nearly impossible fetishes,

however, may occur so rarely or be so beyond the capacity of the

subject to locate or bring about that the spell has little effect on

the subject's life than to create enormous sexual frustration. Danger,

pride, and personal cost are not, however, enough to dissuade the

subject from the fetish once it has been made available.

     This spell cannot create a fetish for an individual person or

object ("Carolyn Greycloak" or "the Great Ruby of al-Ghasar," for

example). Nor can it, without the aid of another spell, create

homosexual desires in a heterosexual, or vice versa.

     There is no save per se against the fetish. Rather, upon

discovering the fetish, the subject, if strenuously disapproving, is

allowed a wisdom check at -4. A successful check leaves the subject

humiliated but thereafter free from the fetish. A new Wisdom check may

be attempted once per day, but since fetishes gain strength over time,

the check suffers a cumulative penalty of -1 per day. A Wisdom check of

1 is always successful.

     The material component of this spell is a sample, highly

representative object of the fetish, or an enactment of the fetish

behavior on the part of the spellcaster.





Layla's Beautification (Alteration) Reversible



Level: 5

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 day/caster's level

Casting Time: 5

Area of Effect: One person

Save: see below



     This spell grants the recipient a Comeliness/Beauty of 25+1d6

(maximum of 30), with no save. The reverse, Layla's Uglification,

subtracts 2d12 from the victim's Comeliness/Beauty for the same

duration. Layla's Uglification has a save.





Reverse Gender Orientation (Alteration)



Level: 5

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special; Permanent, with save once/day

Casting Time: 5

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Special; see below



     Under the influence of this spell, the subject experiences

trans-sexuality, the unshakable conviction that he/she is, despite all

biological evidence, of the opposite gender than the true one. The

subject cannot disbelieve or be persuaded otherwise, and will

immediately adapt hair, clothing, manners, speech, behaviors, etc.,

accordingly. Notice that males will behave in a feminine rather than an

effeminate manner, and similarly for females; the subject has no desire

to parody. If the subject's species has more than two genders, the

resulting gender orientation is GM's choice. If the species has only

one gender, the subject is unaffected.

     Like Embarrassing Fetish and Reverse Sexual Orientation, this

spell has no save per se. Upon first consciously realizing that one's

self-identification as male or female has changed, if the subject

strenuously objects, the subject is allowed a Charisma check at -4. A

successful Charisma check leaves the subject confused but no longer

trans-sexual. A new Charisma check may be made each day, but at a

cumulative penalty of -1 per day. A check of 1 always succeeds.

     Notice that gender orientation and sexual orientation are

different concepts, and that this spell alone will not change

orientation. However, the subject will claim a different orientation

based on the differently perceived gender. Thus a straight female will

consider herself a male who is attracted to men, and therefore a gay

man; likewise a lesbian will consider herself a man attracted to women,

and hence a straight man.





Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss of Disease (Necromancy) Reversible



Level: 5

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     This kiss inflicts one magical sexual disease of the caster's

choice. The reverse, Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Curing, removes one

magical sexual disease.





Conjure Succubus/Incubus (Conjuration/Summoning/Necromancy)



Level: 6

Range: 0

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 6 turns

Area of Effect: Special

Save: None



     This spell enables the caster to summon a female or male sexual

spirit which is subject to perform the caster's sexual bidding (not

combat). The spirit remains until dismissed. Casting this spell causes

1d8 damage to the caster, and each orgasm with the spirit requires a

save vs.  death magic. Failing this save permanently reduces the

caster's Constitution by one point. If the spirit causes someone

besides the caster to orgasm, both the caster and the other person must

make the save.

     This spell serves few purposes except as a sexual perversion of

the mage. This spell is always popular amongst Necromancers.





Prismatic Dildo (Conjuration)



Level: 6

Range: 60 yards

Components: V

Duration: 3 rounds/level

Casting Time: 6

Area of Effect: Special

Save: Special



     This spell allows the caster to conjure up an opaque object within

some orifice of a creature within range, providing the creature with

seven different sexual stimuli. Any creature with Constitution under 6

or fewer than 4 Hit Dice is immediately overcome by the sensation and

falls orgasming and unconscious for 2d4 turns. Any attempt to remove

the dildo only lodges it further, and increases the duration by 2

rounds. The seven colors of the shimmering cylinder function as

follows:



     Color  Order   Effect                   Spell Negated By

     Red     1st    Pornographic Illusions   Disbelief, True Seeing

     Orange  2nd    Arousal Cantrip          Disinterest

     Yellow  3rd    Expansion/Contraction    Hold Person

     Green   4th    Enigmatic Enema          Transmute Water to Dust

     Blue    5th    Ben-Wa Rotation          Chill Touch

     Indigo  6th    Vibration                Irritation

     Violet  7th    Lubrication              Dispel Magic



     Each color must be removed in order to negate the dildo before the

end of its natural duration. The spellcaster also may dispel the dildo

at will. It is rumored that other variations of the Prismatic Dildo

exist, both in their effects and their negations.





Sex Change (Alteration, Evocation)



Level: 6

Range: 5 yards/level

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Permanent (ALTERNATE: 1 week/level)

Casting time: 6

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Neg.



     This spell causes the victim's sex to change. Thus, a male becomes

female and visa-versa. A save vs. spell negates the effects. After the

change, the victim will be confused for 1d10 turns. Also, he/she will

have a percent chance equal to his/her Constitution of going insane

because of the trauma.

     The GM must make sure the victim of the spell acts in the manner

appropriate to the sex. If not, then the spell doesn't really seem

powerful.





Impregnate (Necromancy) Reversible



Level: 7

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 7

Area of Effect: One female (or Special)

Save: Neg.



     This spell creates life and, according to some mytho, a new soul,

in a creature capable of bearing young. Its reverse, Abort, destroys

unborn life. The casting of these spells upon a male, though

theoretically possible, would produce unpredictable effects, although

male pregnancy is not impossible. Casting this spell on an undead is

rumored to result in the gruesome death of both undead and caster.

Both of these spells, especially Abort, are highly controversial both

for Good and for Lawful creatures. The material component for both is

an arrowhead dipped in rabbit's blood.





Layla's Seductive Shapechange (Alteration/Divination)



Level: 7

Range: 10 yards/level

Components: V, S

Casting Time: Special

Duration: Permanent until lapsed

Area of Effect: Special

Save: Special



     This spell discerns the nature of what the victim would consider

most sexually and physically attractive. The spell will make a number

of attempts to uncover this information equal to the level of the

caster, or until the information is procured. Each attempt takes one

segment, and the victim receives a save against each attempt.

Regardless of whether or not he makes his save, he will under no

circumstances notice this aspect of the spell.

     This information will be relayed to the caster, who may then opt

to activate the second half of the spell, which is to shapechange into

the form the information would dictate. If the caster does not, he may

apply the unused attempts against someone else, or give up the spell.

If the caster does, the new form is assumed until the caster wishes to

end it.

     Example: Layla wishes to infiltrate a party using this spell. She

casts against the Dirdan the fighter first, and he fails his save on

her second attempt. She finds he prefers dirty half-orc women-- a

really distasteful idea. Since she is seventeenth level, she has

fifteen more attempts to direct against the rest of the party. On

attempt seven, she finds that Alex the mage would really like a six-

foot tall snow elf who was wearing black leather. Layla finds this more

acceptable, forgoes her remaining eight attempts, and shapechanges into

a snow elf. The spell makes her clothing into black leather (without

destroying or altering any of its previous properties) and makes her

staff into a bull whip.

     After three weeks, she gets bored of Alex, and ends the spell,

changing back to her normal self.





Kiss Of The Nereid (Conjuration/Summoning)



Level: 8

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: See below



     When the kiss is bestowed, the victim must roll a successful

save vs. breath weapon, with a -2 penalty, or drown instantly.  If

he/she doesn't drown, he/she finds total ecstasy.





Power Word, Castrate (Conjuration/Summoning)



Level: 8

Range: 5 yards/two level

Components: V

Duration: Permanent

Casting time: 8

Area of Effect: 10-foot-radius sphere

Save: None



     When this spell is cast, one or more male creatures of any type

within the spell range and area of effect are castrated. The power word

castrates one creature with 60 hit points, or it castrates two or more

creatures with 10 or fewer hit points, up to a maximum of 120 hit

points. The option to attack a single creature, or multiple creatures,

must be stated along with the spell range and area of effect center.

The current hit points of the creatures are used.





Heartbreaker (Conjuration/Summoning)



Level: 9

Range: 6 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1/2

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Neg.



     This spell induces a sudden heart attack in its recipient. A save

vs. death is allowed. If the save is failed, the creature makes a

Constitution check. If the check fails, the creature dies. If the

creature survives, he/she will be totally incapacitated for 1d6+6 game

weeks. He/she will also permanently lose one point of Strength and one

point of Constitution, and will have a 5% chance of a future heart

attack every time he/she ever is required to make a Constitution check.

Note that this spell does require its victim to have a heart, so not

all creatures can be affected (i.e. golems, undead, slime, etc).





Kiss Of Death (Conjuration/Summoning)



Level: 9

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1/2

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None



     When the kiss is bestowed, the creature is slain (maximum of 150

hit points can be taken away). After 1d10 rounds the corpse turns to

dust. The creature can't be resurrected. (See Ya! Wouldn't want to be

Ya!)





Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair (Alteration/Necromancy)



Level: 9

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Casting Time: 1

Duration: Permanent until cured

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None



     This spell inflicts the victim with the sexual disease or sexual

insanity of the caster's choice, permanently, until it is cured by a

Cure Disease performed by a cleric of a good-aligned god and of higher

level than the mage who inflicted the disease. While the victim suffers

from the disease, the spell prevents him from being killed by it, or in

fact by anything, be it a sword, a fire, another disease, or a blow to

the head. Should the victim drop below 0 hit points, he will become

immobile but remain conscious.

     He will be incapable of performing any actions until he is healed

above 0 hit points. Dropping below -10 hit points will not kill him. He

gains no hit points back from resting if he is below 0, his body is too

battered to heal itself and only magical or herbal healing will help

him.





Summon Cissaldan (Conjuration/Summoning)



(As in Harlan Ellison's short "How's the Night Life On Cissalda?")



Level: 9

Range: 30 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 9

Area of Effect: None

Save: None



     The casting of this spell will cause an interdimensional

connection between the world of the spell caster and the alternate

world of the Cissaldans. The utterance of this spell attracts one

Cissaldan which will come through the connection and attack whomever

the spell caster directs the spell against.

     The recipient has an immediate desire to "do a disgusting thing

with a disgusting thing" and will fall upon the Cissaldan with much

vigor. The recipient will not be able to do or say anything else since

his or her complete concentration is centered on the Cissaldan. The two

will continue to copulate until the recipient dies of starvation.

There is no known way of separating someone (or something since the

Cissaldans do not discriminate in any way) from a Cissaldan until the

recipient dies.  After the death of the spell recipient, the Cissaldan

will return to the world from which it came.

     Cissaldans are described as having two penises, two vaginas, and

are physically "disgusting" to look at. They, however, love to make

love so to speak, and can physically adapt to any sexual physiology.





Below is some spell ideas that creative (boarding on sick) mages

throughout the Prime Material Plane are working on.



   Animal Magnetism                   Cure Groin Soreness

   Deep Throat                        Enchant Condom

   Engorge                            Find Mate

   Finger of Death                    Kiss of Strength

   The All New Bybig's Forceful Hand  The All New Bybig's Grasping Hand

   The All New Bybig's Playful Hand   Tongues ReErection Unseen Sexual

   The Luscious Real-Feel Magic Mouth





-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                    CLERICS WOULD USE THESE SPELLS?



     Most of the mage spells elsewhere in the guide can be easily

transformed into clerical spells for gods who will grant them.





Level 1

Baltasar's Impediment

Detect Venereal Disease

Divine Sexual Experience

Lactation



Level 2

Protection From Disease

Repair Virginity



Level 4

Fertility



Level 6

Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy







Baltasar's Impediment (Necromancy, Abjuration)



Sphere: Necromancy, Protection

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1 round

Area of Effect: 1 (female) mammal

Save: None



     This spell enables the caster to prevent a female from becoming

pregnant. Essentially, it impedes a fertilized ovum from implanting in

the uterus. The casting of Baltasar's Impediment is not necessarily an

evil act; however, the GM should pay particular attention to the

alignment of the caster as well as the social & political (esp.

religious) atmosphere. For example, a lawful good cleric casting this

spell on a teenager without the permission of her parents, church, etc.

should be prepared for the wrath of his deity. A cleric who worships a

fertility god can not cast this spell.

     A neutral evil cleric, nephew of the king, might repeatedly cast

this spell on the queen in a secret attempt to usurp the thrown. A

neutral good cleric might cast this spell on all the maidens of the

keep before its fall to the orc siege -- although he cannot spare them

from the horrors to come, at least he can prevent the bastardization

that might result.

     The material components are a drop of blood from the target's last

menstrual period (or an ounce of her blood, from anywhere, that has

been mixed with dust and dried in a silver chalice) and the priest's

holy symbol. The priest invokes the name of his deity, touching his

holy symbol to the blood. The woman must then consume it, usually

mixing it with wine or some other fluid. The spell remains in effect

until the first day of the woman's next menstrual period, or a

successful Dispel Magic is cast upon her.





Detect Venereal Disease (Divination)



Sphere: Divination

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None



     This spell detects the presence of sexually transmitted diseases

in a creature. A successful Intelligence check reveals the nature and

symptoms of, but not the cure for, any detected diseases. The material

component is the caster's holy symbol.





Divine Sexual Experience (Divination)



Sphere: Divination

Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None



     Casting of this spell involves taking a clear vessel of water and

releasing a drop of ink into it. The percentage of the water undarkened

by the diffused ink indicates that person's purity score. Although not

absolutely certain, any score under 50% probably indicates loss of

virginity, and with the exception of the rarest of heroes and deities,

the score will be between 25% (casual interaction with others) and 90%

(extreme debauchery). More specific information may be revealed at the

GM's discretion.





Lactation (Evocation)



Sphere: Creation

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: Female touched

Save: 1/2



     Lactation, unsurprisingly, causes the subject to begin producing

breast milk. This milk is of the highest nutritive value. A save

results in a single discharge of colostrum.





Repair Virginity (Healing)



Sphere: Healing

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: Permanent (until the obvious happens)

Casting Time: 2 turns

Area of Effect: One person

Save: 1/2 (Special)



     This spell returns the subject to a state of physical virginity.

If the subject makes the save, then all sexual skills, knowledge, and

techniques are retained; if the save is failed, all knowledge and

skills are lost except those known before having lost virginity. A

female will grow an intact hymen, and any physical or medical damage

caused by sex or childbirth will be eradicated. The subject will

legitimately be considered a virgin for all religious purposes.





Protection From Disease (Abjuration)



Sphere: Protection

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting time: 3

Area of Effect: Creature touched

Save: None



     By means of this spell, the wizard bestows total invulnerability

to disease. The creature can't contract, become a carrier, or pass on

any disease he/she may already have. This spell doesn't cure disease it

merely prevents its transfer.

     When a person is subject to this spell, a glowing light appears on

the subject's palm. This is to assure the person has this protection

on. Therefore, a person he/she can't say "Let's have sex, I have the

protection on."

     The material component of this spell is a scoop of mold (a generic

form of penicillin).





Fertility (Alteration, Necromancy) Reversible



Sphere: Creation, Necromantic

Level: 4

Range: 10 yards/level

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1 turn + 1 turn/target

Area of Effect: Special

Save: Neg.



     This spell enables the caster to increase the fertility of the

target. The target may be either male or female. The fertility of a

character may be calculated as follows (as per The Complete Guide to

Unlawful Carnal Knowledge). Fertility = base chance + constitution

modifier. If both participants are "fertile" at time of copulation,

pregnancy results.



               Base

     Race     Chance            Constitution  Modifier

     Dwarf      22%                01-03        -6%

     Elf        13%                04-06        -4%

     Gnome      20%                07-09        -2%

     Half-Elf   54%                10-12        +2%

     Halfling   50%                13-15        +4%

     Human      77%                16-18        +6%



     Successful casting of this spell increases a character's fertility

by 5d6 points. In addition, there is a probability, equal to the level

of the caster (1% per level), that successful conception will result in

multiple births (roll 1d20: 1-17 twins, 18-19 triplets, 20

quadruplets). Multiple castings of this spell on the same individual

(while the first is still in effect) automatically fail, as does

casting on a pregnant person. This effect lasts through the target's

next copulation; thereafter, the target's fertility returns to normal.

Fertility can also be countered magically by spells such as Dispel

Magic, Infertility, or Wish.

     The reverse of this spell, "Infertility," destroys the target's

ovaries/testes and automatically results in a failed attempt at

conception (assuming that the target did not save versus spells).  The

target remains infertile until a successful Dispel Magic is cast upon

him/her followed immediately by Regenerate (the former dispels the

magic, the latter repairs the physical damage).

     Note: Fertility cannot counter the effects of Infertility, but if

the target is already under the effect of the former, he/she receives a

+1 bonus to save.

     This spell (and it's reverse) may also be cast upon animals (e.g.,

horses). The GM may choose the animal's initial fertility based on type

and quality of animal.

     This spell can affect up to 1 creature for every 3 levels of the

caster, unless the cleric worships a god of fertility, creation, death,

or destruction, in which case, the cleric can affect 1 creature per

level. Clerics who worship fertility or creation gods can not cast

Infertility.  Clerics who worship gods of death or destruction can not

cast Fertility.

     The material components for Fertility are the caster's holy symbol

and a seed from any plant (the seed is not damaged).  The caster's holy

symbol and the ashes from a handful of seeds are required for the

reverse (the ashes disappear during casting).

      NOTE: While the need for this spell might seem a bit

questionable upon initial reading, it works well as a plot aid:



     - "Gee, I wonder why there are so many orcs/green dragons/trolls

       around lately?"



     - "Boy, I sure hope the king has a child with this new queen -

       this is his third queen already! I would sure hate to see that

       sleazy nephew of his get the thrown!"



     - "Look, you gotta help us! There's not been a child born in this

       town in 2 years - not even among the livestock!"



     - It would also be a sneaky way to get those promiscuous PCs.





Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy (Enchantment)



Sphere: Charm

Level: 6

Range: 20-ft radius circle centered within 60 ft. of the caster

Components: V, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 6 turn

Area of Effect: See range

Save: Special



     Yemelat, whose archbishopric is among the most coveted of all the

dioceses of Lord Priapus, is most famous for his Orgiastic Frenzy

spell, first put to shockingly great effect at a Special High Council

of the priests of Helm, Torm, and Tyr. This spell compels those within

its range to engage in sexual activities with wild abandon with anyone

else within the zone. Those within may individually save vs.

petrifaction at -5 to stave off the effects, but must save again if

they touch anyone or anything in the zone, including their own bodies,

until they escape the zone or until everyone falls unconscious within

the zone. The material component is a peeled grape.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                      A BARD'S SEXUAL SPELL-SONGS





                    "Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On"



                                   By



              Luwain "Don't Fuck With Me" The Nightingale



                       To be sang by the tune of

                  "Everything I do - I do it for you"





The love within your eyes

makes me sure,

I want to give you more...



You ought to know,

I love you so

I will never let you go



Oh, tell me you want my body too

My passion is hardening to you

My body plea

Undress me and you'll see...

Make love to me.





Level: 2

Area of Effect: Creature touched

Casting Time: 1 round

Duration: 2 hours (!!!)



Description: The spell-song insures the creature touched (usually the

bard caster) can engage in continuous intercourse for 2 hours!

Naturally, the partner can't take a whole 2 hours, so here's how it

works.

     Take the character's Constitution and add the applying bonuses

from the wild-thing rules: Strength, Dexterity, partner's Charisma. the

lowest bonus may be replaced by the bard's level if desired. The total

is how long the first intercourse will take. During each and every

intercourse, Four checks are to be done (with 1d20), and when one

fails the bard loses 1d6 hit points (instead of stopping). There's a

cumulative -1 to the check with every check done.

     Example: Starting at 27, Luwain can make love for 27 minutes to

start, then start again with a score of 27-4=23, and make love for 23

more minutes with checking only the last check of 23-3=20 (a 20 on the

check loses 1d6 hp). Now, Luwain can continue with a score of 19 for 19

minutes, checking against 19, 18, 17 and 16, and so on...



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                         SEXUAL PSIONIC POWERS





                          TELEPATHIC DEVOTIONS





Induced Pleasure



Power Score: Con - 2

Initial Cost: contact

Maintenance Cost: 2/round

Range: touch

Prep Time: 1

Area of Effect: individual

Prerequisite: mindlink, contact



     This is the opposite power of Inflict Pain. While no good comes

from it (no healing or curative effects), it makes the subject

individual shudder and twist in ecstasy. If used in combat, the victim

must save vs. paralyzation in order to keep functioning and fighting.

Failure to save indicates a penalty of -4 on all attack rolls that

round, and any spells being cast are disrupted.

     The insidious effects of this power occur when it is used in

conjunction with Inflict Pain. By using the two powers interchangeably,

dependent upon the victim's actions, the victim can be conditioned to

perform certain acts instead of other acts they would normally perform.

     For each week of being subjected to this treatment, they must make

a wisdom check, with a penalty equal to the number of weeks of

"treatment" (i.e., 3 weeks of treatment = penalty of -3) or have their

actions in particular scenarios predetermined by their conditioning.

Only one area of behavior may be affected per victim. Depending upon

the behavior modification, there is a chance (GM's discretion) for an

alignment change by the victim.



Power Score: The pleasure is so overwhelming that the victim passes out

for 1d10 rounds.



20: The contact is broken.





                        CLAIRSENTIENT DEVOTIONS





Know Sexual Preference



Power Score: Int

Initial Cost: 8

Maintenance Cost: n/a

Range: 20 yards

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisite: none



     This power enables the psionicist to read the sexual preference in

the aura of a creature. Aura Sight reads sexual preference and

experience. Aura Alteration can fool both reads.



Power Score: Psionicist know sexual preference and experience.



20: Wrong read, the opposite.





                       PSYCHOMETABOLIC DEVOTIONS





Sexual Pheromones Secretion



Power Score: Con - 4

Initial Cost: 9

Maintenance Cost: 6/round

Range: smell

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisite: none



      With this devotion the psionicist can make his body smell like

exciting perfume. When a psionicist starts this power he secretes

sexual pheromones all over his body. The attractive and exciting

perfume of these pheromones can attract attention, change reactions or

help to seduce someone.



Power Score: The perfume is so exciting that every opposite sex

creature in the area must save vs. petrifaction or desperately try to

engage in sexual intercourse with the psionicist (evil creatures may

use violent methods).



20: The psionicist steams a disgusting odor for 2d4 rounds.





Mind Over Sexual Endurance



Power Score: Wis - 3

Initial Cost: 6

Maintenance Cost: 5/round

Range: 0

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisite: Mind Over Body



     With this devotion the psionicist can prolong his pleasure.

Spending PSP, the psionicist can maintain intercourse without

Constitution checks. The prolonged uses of this power has some dangers.

If the psionicist prolongs the intercourse (in rounds) more than two

times his Constitution score, then when he stops paying the maintenance

cost he will collapses from exhaustion. If he goes for more than four

times his Constitution score he must save vs. Death (with a penalty

equal to the number of extra rounds) or die (but a good way to die).



Power Score: Half cost.



20: The psionicist loses interest prematurely.





Contraception



Power Score: Con - 3

Initial Cost: 10

Maintenance Cost: n/a

Range: touch

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: 0

Prerequisite: none



     With this devotion a psionicist can prevent pregnancy in any

female (including herself). This power should be used after sexual

activity. In some cases this may not be lawful, and in some it may not

be considered good. This devotion offers only 95% certainty according

to the following table:



      Roll    Result

     0 - 95   no fertilization

       96     one zygote

       97     two zygotes

       98     very ugly mutant child

       99     incredible ugly mutant child

       00     a beautiful, powerful mutant (get out Gamma World rules)



Power Score: 100% certainty.



20: Use 94 + 1d6 as % roll.





Enhance Fertility



Power Score: Con - 3

Initial Cost: 10/10% increase

Maintenance Cost: 1/10% increase

Range: touch

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: 0

Prerequisite: none



     With this devotion a psionicist can enhance the chance of

pregnancy in any female (include herself). This power should be used

before the sexual activity. The maximum chance is 90%. The psionicist

must maintenance this power during all the intercourse time.



Power Score: 10% bonus in fertility (up to 100%).



20: Fertility reduced 50% for a week.





Export Disease



Power Score: Con - 3

Initial Cost: 12

Maintenance Cost: n/a

Range: touch

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: individual

Prerequisite: none



     This power is the reverse of Absorb Disease and lets evil

psionicists to transfer one of his diseases to another character's

body. After that, the psionicist is free of the disease. (Other

psionicist can use this power, too, but their alignment would begin to

twist toward evil.) This power can transfer magical diseases, but not

curses, such as lycanthropy.



Power Score: The psionicist transfer all his diseases and the target

will have the psionicist's curses and insanities, too, but the

psionicist is not free of them.



20: The psionicist transfer 20% of his own hit points.





Willy's Expansion



Power Score: Con - 2

Initial Cost: 5

Maintenance Cost: 1/round

Range: 0

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisite: Expansion



     This specialized form of Expansion was created by Willy Kawallo to

increase the size of his preferred body part. The rules for size

increase are the same as in Expansion. Using this power the psionicist

must make a constitution check before starting sexual intercourse and

will have a -1 penalty in each subsequent check because it is more

difficult to use a big one. Females can increase any of their sexual

proportions with the normal Expansion power.



Power Score: Same as Expansion power.



20: The psionicist sexual organ shrinks 50% until arrested by this

power.





                         METAPSIONIC DEVOTIONS





Conductive Kiss



Power Score: Con - 2

Initial Cost: 20 or 10 x magnification

Maintenance Cost: 2 or magnification/round

Range: touch

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisites: 5th level



     With this devotion the psionicist can magnify the effects of

another power that has touch as range (double damage, no save, etc.).

The psionicist uses the kiss as a conductor and the victim will be more

vulnerable. The GM must rule which and how aspects of the psionic power

can be magnified or changed.



Power Score: Half cost.



20: A kiss with a terrible taste.







                MAGIC ITEMS YOUR MOM WOULDN'T APPROVE OF





Item                                        Price

Basque of Transvestitism                      200

Boo-Hag Goggles                               100

Breast Plate +1                               600

Earring(s) of Androgyny                       250

Everful Baby Bottle                           200

Figurine Of The Willing WonTon                400

Frictionless Sheets                           250

Gem of the Vo Yure                            250

Girdle of Speedy Gestation                    500

Girdle of Hippolyte                          1500

Hourglass of Parietals                        500

Jackknife of Circumcision                    2000

Ladies' Glass Ball                           2000

Lipsticks Of The Houri

     - Sleeping                              1000

     - Wounding                              1000

     - Weakness                              2000

     - Slavery                               3000

     - Nereid                                8000

     - Death                                 9000

Marishars Miraculous Bath House              7500

Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini                  1000

Parents SoloPlay Cursed Item                  ---

Penis of Astounding                          1500

Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy            500

Periapt Of Sexual Aides                      1000

Perfume/Musk Of Attraction                    500

Philter of Love                               250

Phylactery of Prophylactics                   250

Potion of Aphrodisia                          250

Potion of Potency                             250

Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love               500

Ring Of The Bulls                             300

Ring Of Perversion                            ---

Ring Of Protection                           1500

Ring of Sexuality Detection                   300

Sheet Of Useful Toys                          300

Spectacles of Revealing                       250

Sword Of Castration                          2000

Teeny-Weeny Bikini                           1000

Underwear Of Virginity                        200

Wand of Elenora's Embarrassment               300

Wand Of Love                                 2000

Wand of Pillows                              1000

Wand Of Vibration                            1000





Basque of Transvestitism - Any male wearing this garment appears to be

a female of the same race with identical stats. Any female character

can automatically see through this illusion, but males have to make

Wisdom rolls to realise something is wrong.



Boo-Hag Goggles - These goggles make everyone look much more sexually

attractive to the wearer than they really are.



Breast Plate +1 - This piece of armor gives the wearer a +1 bonus to

adjustment to armor class. Thus, a wearer with AC of 5 will have an AC

of 4 when this breast plate is worn. This armor is made of a strange

substance referred to by mages as Silicon.



Earring(s) of Androgyny - These earrings make it impossible for anyone

to discern the gender of the wearer, even if naked.



Everful Baby Bottle - This baby bottle always contains milk. The milk

is kept at a constant warm temperature. Most bottles produce cow's

milk, but some can produce milk from other mammals. Some exotic bottles

were known to produce enriched dragon's milk.



Figurine Of The Willing WonTon - This appears as a tiny (an inch or so

high) statuette of a lovely male or female. When the figurine is tossed

down and a command word spoken, it becomes a very attractive living

normal sized person that will serve him/her. The person serves

willingly and well, but at the end of 12 hours it returns to statue

form. The figurine does not come with any gear or clothes. The mount

can't do anything but perform basic sexual acts.



Frictionless Sheets - These covers seem like any other silk sheets, but

they have a nasty side. Three rounds after coming in contact with

living material (i.e. a person) the sheets become completely

frictionless. This could be very nasty if there is any strenuous

activity occurring at the time. With the loss of friction there will be

nothing to hold the person/s in the bed. Depending on the level of

activity the person/s could simply slide out of bed or be shot out of

bed at a high velocity. There are several applications for this magic

item. But if found randomly by a character it could be fun for the GM

to suddenly say to a character that while relaxing on his/her newly

found sheets the character slides off and can not clime back into bed

(HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH). The effect will wear off in 2-8 (2D4) rounds if no

living material is in contact with it.



Gem of the Vo Yure - These finely cut and polished stones are

indistinguishable from ordinary jewels, although a detect magic spell

will reveal its enchantment. When gazed through, the Gem of the Vo Yure

enables the user to see all human and kindred creatures as naked. The

viewing range is 300'.



Girdle of Speedy Gestation - This girdle reduces the term of pregnancy

and labor to 1/10th of normal, with no ill effects to bearer or baby.



Girdle of Hippolyte - This is really a thin metallic chain one wears

around the waist. The wearer is completely immune to any diseases or

ill effects gained through sexual intercourse (including the level-

draining abilities of succubi/incubi).



Hourglass of Parietals - This typical hourglass compels sexual

segregation. Males and females must move into separate rooms of any

building containing such an hourglass once time has expired. This

device is commonly used in certain lawful suspicious institutions of

learning in the Realms.



Jackknife of Circumcision - A magical device used in the initiation

rites of certain mythos, which functions as a Knife +2 in the hands of

a circumcised male.



Ladies' Glass Ball - A glass ball containing a green substance hangs

from a pendant. The ball itself is plugged from the bottom with a plug

of cork. The green substance inside, however, will show magical

properties. If consumed by a female this green potion will protect her

from impregnation for 1d4 months (GMs choice as to information given to

PC). However, if consumed by a male the substance will instantaneously

cause 1d4 points of damage. Then a save against poison must be made

each hour for the duration of days equal to half the PC's Constitution.

If he fails he looses one hit point per failure  The poison in a male

will not kill him but causes him sever discomfort and embarrassment. He

will begin to grow hair at an accelerated rate (1d4 inches/day) and his

voice will become very feminine (no save).



Lipstick Of The Houri - This lipstick gives its wearer a limited kiss

ability mimicking the spell of the same name. The effects last double

the duration of the spell. Each stick is good for 5 applications and

each application lasts for 1-6 kisses.



Marishars Miraculous Bath House - This one square inch marble block is

carved in the appearance of a Roman-style villa with pillars at the

front and erotic mosaics on the side and back walls.

     Once a day, the bathhouse can be invoked (command word Bachus). It

immediately grows in size until it is as large as a small house. It is

identical to the statue, with high marble walls, and pillars at the

front covering the entrance.

     The doorway is only large enough to allow one person at a time to

pass through, and has a large brass door that can be bolted from the

inside. Two large Iron Golems cast as Nubian slaves with scimitars

guard the doorway.

     Whoever passes inside first is the master/mistress of the bath

house, and all the creatures of the bath house will obey them. Inside

the house is only one room, with two pools (hot and cold) and several

marble slabs. gauzy silk curtains, cushions and tapestries decorate the

place. Several swans (white if the master is good/neutral, black if

evil) swim calmly on the cold pool. In the bath house are 2d6 beings of

the same race and opposite gender, with 18 charisma and 18 comeliness.

They are happy to please and have 20's in any and all the new sexual

proficiencies. If the master/mistress of the house wishes, the

companions can be switched to any gender or species.

     Inside the bath house, it is always comfortably warm, and there is

 always food (as long as you like grapes and dates) and fresh water.

     Nothing from the bath house (golems, companions, cushions, water,

food) can leave the bath house. If taken outside they vanishes.



Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini - As a fashion conscious adventurer,

Morgaine has decided to create the ultimate in sexy adventure-wear, the

"Chainmail Bikini".

     Provocatively designed to distract opponents, the "Chainmail

Bikini" covers only the minimal basics in order to preserve modesty.

Both the male and female versions are made of fine quality chain mail,

carefully lined with the softest furs available, to ensure no nasty

chain burns.

     The "Chainmail Bikini" is magically enchanted to provide armour

class protection affordable by anyone. The "base model" provides a

straight Armor Class 10 and is merely for decorative/distraction

purposes, providing basically no protection for the wearer. Other

models provide an increasing amount of magical protection, with a

corresponding increase in cost.

     The special "Temperature-Controlled" models have an added feature

which maintains body temperature in extreme cold or hot weather. The

creature can stand unprotected in temperatures as low as -30 degrees

Fahrenheit or as high as 130 degrees Fahrenheit with no ill effect.

Temperatures beyond these limits inflict 1 point of damage per hour of

exposure for every degree beyond the limit.

     A special model, "Chainmail Chastity", provides a miniature lock

and key for those adventurers who are concerned about losing the

friendship of their unicorn friends.

     And for those dungeons where the GM forgot to put in a bathroom

(or for female adventurers at _that_ time of the month) there is the

"Port-a-Potty" model, which has a special liner that absorbs wastes for

up to one week's time. To clean, remove liner and place in  a waste

receptacle, intone the appropriate magical phrase, and the liner will

"give up" its contents. Intone the other magical phrase to reset the

liner for another week's work. Warning: Be certain to reset the liner

before the week is out, as the liner will automatically stop absorbing,

and there is a 50% chance that the liner will automatically reset

itself, leaving the adventurer with a lovely, warm feeling. Evil beings

leave trapped versions by replacing the lining with a bag of devouring,

for a bit more enjoyment.

     A special smaller "Port-a-Potty" diaper model has been created for

infants and has been very popular in large cities.



Parents SoloPlay Cursed Item - This cursed item can be anything but

typically is in the form of something used by a child in puberty such

as jewelry, brush/comb, or book. This item was created by a goodie

goodie cleric or mage to ensure "spiritual purity". When the possessor

of this item masturbates roll 1d6 on the following chart to see what

happens to the offender:



    Die Roll   Effect

      1-2      "Struck by lightening" that does 10d6 (minus

               Constitution) points of damage. 5d6 points of damage if

               indoors.

      3-4      "Go blind" that lasts 7d6 days.

      5-6      "It falls off" but actually only causes 1d10 points of

               painful, permanent damage to genital region. Also,

               causes intense panic.



Penis of Astounding - This is a 12' long artificial penis. It is used

to stun an observer. When worn by a male, the Penis has a 70% chance of

stunning a person for 1d10 rounds. However when worn by a woman, the

odds increase to 95%. The penis is not subject to sexual arousal or

feeling, thus it can be used in combat, when unsuccessful as a penis of

astounding. Another version, the Ultra Penis of Astounding, also comes

with a bag of milk.



Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy - This engraved gem appears to be a

gem of small value. This periapt provides 100% protection against

pregnancy for males and females.



Periapt Of Sexual Aides - This gem appears nothing else then a

diamond (500-1000 gp), and no magic is detected. When in possession no

effect is noted until the possessor engages in sex. Then, if a man is

wearing the periapt, he cannot have a orgasm until his partner (which

he is having sex with) has at least one orgasm. If worn by a woman, it

makes herself more susceptible for orgasms (a roll of 1-2 on 1d10). In

a sexual act, if more than one person are using this kind of periapt,

they will explode for 3-12 (3d4) of blasting damage (10' radius), and

all possessors must check a system shock or lose the fertility.



Perfume/Musk Of Attraction - This liquid increases the wearer's

charisma by 1 point. The duration is 1d20 hours. The liquid comes in a

small bottle with 2d20 applications.



Philter of Love - As in the DMG page 144, with the following revision:

the philter will only inspire love for the next person the imbiber sees

who is of the appropriate gender with respect to the imbiber's sexual

orientation.



Phylactery of Prophylactics - A phylactery with 1d6 detachable beads,

each one of which functions as a Contraception spell (see guide).



Potion of Aphrodisia - Functions as Obsession spell (see guide)

directed towards next person seen by the imbiber, regardless of the

viewed person's gender.



Potion of Potency - Functions as Prowess spell (see guide), for 6

hours.



Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love - Legend states that this enchanted

whirlpool tub was created by Rahasia, Mage Priestess of Ishtar, The

Priestess of Love.  Whirlpools like this do appear in all Ishtar

temples and the best appears at Rashasia's.  Now, tubs appear all over

Oerth and the Realms mainly as an item of the rich and famous. The tub

is approximately 5 feet by 5 feet by 5 feet with side seats in it. The

tub can create air bubbles at the bottom that flow delightfully to the

top.  Also, the temperature of the water can be controlled. Command

words are as followed:



     Temperature   Command         Bubbles   Command

        Cold       Frigus          Low       Humilis

        Warm       Calidus         Medium    Modus

        Hot        Fervidus        High      Alte



Some clever clerics and mages have created gems that cause the same

effects as the whirlpool tub when they are placed in a small body of

water.



Ring Of The Bulls - This regular ring is engraved with a bull head.

When worn by a male, his more-private anatomy increases in size. The

size is dependant on the type of the ring (Roll 1d12):



    Die Roll   Ring Type           Effect

      1-5      Calf                Add 1/3 of the size

      6-9      Young               Add 1/2 of the size

     10-11     Bull                Double the size

      12       THE BEAST           Triple the size     <- dangerous



The male also gains a +1 to constitution checks during sex.



Ring Of Perversion - Cursed ring that can only be removed by a remove

curse spell. While the ring is worn, the person suffers the effects of

a sexual insanity (roll on the insanity table).



Ring Of Protection - This large ring is for males only and doesn't go

on fingers or toes. It provides 100% protection from pregnancy and

sexual diseases (both magical and natural).



Ring of Sexuality Detection - A very simple ring with a white,

semiprecious stone set in the side, which functions as per the Divine

Sexual Orientation spell (see guide), with the following restrictions.

Anyone whose orientation is scried makes a Wisdom check at -2. If the

check is made, then the scried individuals will sense that they are the

subject of some scrutiny. A successful Charisma check following that

successful Wisdom check will alert them to the purpose - but not

necessarily the source - of the scrutiny.



Sheet Of Useful Toys - This appears to a normal sheet adorned with

about 20 small cloth patches of various shapes. Anybody can remove a

patch. Detaching a patch causes it to become an actual item. The item

is some exciting sexual toy. The toy could be anything like oil, a

whip, blindfold, body lotion, body paint, or anything else the GM

images.



Spectacles of Revealing - While wearing these, the wearer sees everyone

as though they were absolutely naked.



Sword Of Castration - This weapon has a +2 bonus to hit and damage. The

real power of the sword is when the attacker rolls a non-adjusted 20 on

the attack roll. When this occurs, the victim (if male, ignore if

female) will lose his most treasured body part. Legend has it that this

sword was created by evil (and bitter) Amazon Warriors.



Teeny-Weeny Bikini - This object, when worn, will shrink upon command

revealing more and more of the wearer's body thus distracting any and

all male counterparts. If the save versus magic is not made, the men

around the woman will do various stupid things like run into walls,

trip, or make strange burbling sounds as they try not to let it be know

how they feel. Although the bikini will shrink, it will or will not

reveal anything depending upon the wearer's wishes. Thus, modesty in

one might be flagrant display with another. The bikini will fit anyone

of any size. The bikini also appears originally as a full body, 1920's

style swimsuit. Additional References: The Teeny-Weeny-Swimsuit for

men. Cost: Varies.



Underwear Of Virginity - This underwear is very popular among

protective fathers. When worn, the underwear cannot be removed without

the command word (usually the father's middle name said backwards). The

underwear is normal in respects to touch, but it is impossible to rip

or tear. The underwear also magically disposes of body waste before it

leaves the body, so there is no mess and absolutely no reason to remove

it.



Wand of Elenora's Embarrassment - The apprentice wizard Elenora's

biggest achievement to date is a magic wand 12" long made of ivory with

silver bands around it. Under detect spells it appears as a wand of

invisibility; but as Elenora found out when she demonstrated it to the

assembled wizard council, it renders the users clothes completely

invisible for 1 turn (hence its name).

     It takes an Intelligence check (every round) to notice the

invisibility, as the clothes still feel perfectly normal.



Wand Of Love - This wand is very thin, white, and has a lightning star

in one point. Anyone struck by the star ('to hit' roll required) must

save vs. spell or fall madly in love with the wand possessor. This love

is a double strength charm person (all rules apply), but the effected

character will even kill persons to retain his/her loved man/woman in

romance.



Wand of Pillows - A normal looking wand which produces pillows. Here is

the most fun magic item ever found, a "Wand of Pillows". Just point and

it produces loads of nice fluffy pillows. Great for padding that

dungeon room to sleep. Also, on occasion it can pad the bottom of a

drop when one loses all of his/her rope. Furthermore, one can use it to

defeat opponents through bewilderment, "Vile villain, stand back or

surely I shall slay you with my great and powerful wand", where upon

activation of the wand the enemy would fall into uncontrolled laughter

etc, etc, etc...



Wand Of Vibration - This wand has a small dial at one end. In magical

ruins on one end of the dial it reads "Pleasant Tingle" and at the

other end of the dial it reads "The Crusher". The last setting is very

dangerous and can cause 1 point of structural damage per round to any

materials less than or equal to rock. Also, this setting cause 1d10

points of damage per round to anybody foolish enough to place the wand

in a body cavity at such a high setting.





     Other magic items being worked on:

               Wand of Instant Gratification (ecstasy spell) - Morgan

               Helm of Horniness (cursed item) - Morgan



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                         CUPID'S CHAOTIC ARROWS





     These arrows are the work of 'Irnar the chaotic mage (protege

Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm). Sometimes while trying to

enchant an arrow his mind wanders to perverse or romantic thoughts and

the actual enchantment isn't quite what he wants. He sells such

"rejects" to the local weapons store at discount prices (which are

still quite high due to the power of most of them). The weapons dealers

then sell the arrows to foolish adventurers. They advertise the arrows

as "Gifts from the Love Gods", "Missile Weapons for the Mature", and

"If You Like Chaos...". Then, the dealers inflate the price and make a

bundle. The arrows are available infrequently and at high cost. (One of

the most popular dealers is Secondhand Stan the Pawn and Porno Man).

     These arrows are never predictable in their effects. Roll

percentile dice and divide by three (round fractions consistently).

Arrows may be used only once, at which time they disintegrate into a

worthless pile of dust unless stated otherwise. A successful hit from

an attack roll must be made to initiate an effect unless stated

otherwise. They do not do damage unless stated otherwise.

     Mainly chaotic characters use the arrows. Also, characters with a

low wisdom tend to use them a lot more that others.



Effects:



1) The arrow is reflected back at the archer. Roll again to see the

effects on the archer ignoring this result.



2) The victim's Charisma is increased by 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4

days.



3) The victim's Comeliness is increased by 1d10 to a max. of 30 for 1d4

days.



4) The victim's Dexterity with respect to sexual ability increases 1d6

to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.



5) The victim's Constitution with respect to sexual ability increases

1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.



6) All clothing, armor, and personal belongings carried on the victim

fall to ground leaving the victim naked.



7) The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the

opposite sex to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled to follow the

creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.



8) The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the

opposite sex of the same race to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled

to follow the creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.



9) The victim goes into a melancholy depression for 1d4 days during

which he/she feels compelled to recite and attempt to write love

poetry.



10) The victim becomes infatuated with himself/herself for 1d4. He/She

spends a lot of his/her money on mirrors, fine clothing, perfumes,

cosmetics, etc..



11) The victim feels the urge to kiss a living creature of the opposite

sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.



12) The victim feels the "urge to merge" a living creature of the

opposite sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.



13) "Love is blind" so victim becomes blind for 1d4 days.



14) The victim becomes "drunk on love". Therefore, he/she is affected

as if intoxicated for 1d4 days.



15) The victim becomes "crazed with love" for 1d4 hours. Thus, he/she

is confused. Roll 1d10 for the results:

     1    Wander away (unless prevented)

     2-6  Stand confused one turn (then roll again)

     7-9  Attack nearest creature for 1 turn (then roll again)

     10   Act normally for 1 turn (then roll again)



16) The victim becomes "love struck" for 1d4 days. Thus, he/she goes

into a state of suspended animation. This cessation of time means that

the victim does not grow older. His/her body functions virtually cease.



17) "Nothin' says lovin' like a bun in the oven", so female victims

become impregnated. Roll 1d10 to find out what the child is:

     1-5  same race as parent

     6-9  other common race (elf, human, dwarf, halfling, etc.)

     10   Demon

Male victims suffer 4d6 points of damage as punishment for going around

and getting innocent females pregnant.



18) "Say love with the gift that lasts: a diamond". The tip of the

arrow turns into a diamond during its flight. The recipient's Armor

Class becomes 10 due to the piercing of the diamond (dexterity bonuses

still apply).  The diamond-tipped arrow inflicts 1d10 points of damage.

The diamond is worth roughly 1d4 X 1000 silver pieces.



19) "Love is in the eyes of the beholder". During the flight of the

arrow, it becomes a 70 hp beholder (Monstrous Compendium Vol. 1) and

attacks the intended recipient of the arrow. Upon the victim's

destruction, the beholder will attack randomly.



20) The victim begins dancing for 1d4+1 rounds, complete with feet

shuffling and tapping.  This dance makes it impossible for the victim

to do anything other than caper and prance; this cavorting worsens the

Armor Class of the victim by -4, makes saves impossible except on a

roll of 20, and negates any consideration of a shield.



21) The victim has the urge to become a prostitute and will attempt to

fulfill this urge for 1d4 days.



22) The victim contracts a random normal sexual disease.



23) The victim contracts a random magical sexual disease.



24) The victim contracts a random sexual insanity.



25) The victim attracts frogs for 1d4 days. The frogs are plain,

ordinary frogs whether you kiss them or not.



26) If the victim is male, he develops large breasts for 1d4 days. If

the victim is female, she develops an enormous amount of body hair and

will prefer to urinate standing up.



27) The arrow is a Heartbreaker. The arrow turns into a lightning bolt

that inflicts 10d6 points of damage upon contact. A successful save vs.

spell reduces the damage to half (round fractions down).



28) The arrow is a Screamer. The whistling sound is like the sound of a

bomb falling, but without any effect whatsoever. Normal damage.



29) The arrow becomes semi-intelligent with a great knowledge of poetry

equal to a bard's. It will constantly follow the victim around

receipting all forms of love poetry.



30) The arrow turns into a rose upon contact.



31-33) REROLL



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





              PROTECTION OF THE WORST KIND (FOR THE MALE)





To better equip the saintly woman, some people (probably those gnomes)

have designed some vaginal inserts to make would-be rapists pay for

their lustful attempts at unlawful entry. But first let us see where

these inventions originated at:



     It seems that the first case of protective vaginal inserts began

in human tribes of the wilderness. Naturally the daughter of a tribe's

chief was the most sought after girl in the village, and there was a

strict custom about whoever took her virginity would be the next

leader.

    To protect their little girls from unlawful entry certain tribes

developed vaginal inserts. There is a certain type of cactus whose

spines grow at angles on a rather broad, smooth leaf. The chief's wife

would remove the spines from one side of two leaves and insert these

pieces into the daughter's vagina with the spiny sides facing each

other and pointed back inside the girl.

    If anyone tried to have his way with the girl, his penis would

slide in easily enough, but when he went to pull out...... eeeeh....





Model VI-1



Basically a five inch vaginal insert constructed of metal that has a

four inch hooked spike in it as such:



/------------------

|          \

|------------

|

\------------------



Thus, any male forcing intercourse would have this device stuck in his

penis and he would be easily identified by the wounds.





Model VI-2



Same construction as Model VI-1 accept that the walls of the insert all

have spring hinged tiny spikes that point inward as such:



/---------------------

|  /  /  /  /  /

|

|  \  \  \  \  \

\---------------------



Thus, the would-be rapist will have this device stuck on/in his penis

and he would be easily identified.





MODEL VI-S1



This sinister vaginal insert allows the woman to release a spring

loaded blade. When the woman thrust a certain way (instructions

included) the blade springs out and slices up whatever is in her at the

time.





Model VI-HM Blueprints



These blueprints allow a person to make a safe homemade version of

protection at a low cost. Although somewhat complicated, the person

basically uses carefully placed broken glass in cork.





Conclusion



     There are two major reasons that these inventions never made it

into major production: no woman wants to wear what for her is basically

a dildo all day, and a harmed would-be rapist is an unhappy would-be

rapist and would probably kill a woman who used such a thing.







                        HOURI: WIZARD SUB-CLASS





DESCRIPTION: The Houri is a nymph of paradise. She was born in a seedy

section of a city, growing up in a poor and miserable life but dreaming

of a better future. Yet, instead of turning to a life of thievery like

most, her beauty and intelligence leads her to a life a magic. Once

there, she specializes in charming, enchanting, and seducing.

     Some people look down upon her as a disgusting prostitute and

vixen. Others view her as a sensual beauty and the most desirable being

on the Prime Material Plane.

     In addition to normal magic-user requisites, the Houri must have a

minimum Charisma of 15 (her voluptuously alluring beauty and charm

being evident). Also, a Houri is female (although adjustments can be

made for men and thus a Gigolo wizard sub-class is born). Furthermore,

she must be of chaotic alignment.



PREFERRED SCHOOLS: The most appropriate school for the Houri is

enchantment/charm.



BARRED SCHOOLS: All other schools are barred.



ROLE: The Houri is a fun-loving, charming person who can find herself

mingling at all the high-class parties with many men-a-calling. She can

also be found being a high-class prostitute for the wealthy and

well-to-do. Her magic abilities are not always known by the company she

keeps, which leads to mystery on why she is so alluring.

     Having a terrible and trapped childhood, the Houri is glad to

adventure, traveling to many cities being the flirt in each. Her

abilities of charm and communication make her valuable when in contact

with intelligent beings (shes so irresistible). Because of this, she

tends to be viewed as the leader of the group, although this probably

isn't true (such matters of tactics, marching order, etc. are of little

importance to her).



WEAPON SKILL: REQUIRED: dagger or knife. The Houri is often fond of

long, thin pins such as hat-pins and hair-pins, which can be easily

concealed on the Houri's person and do 1-3 points of damage.



NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, any one of the sexual

skills listed in this guide (player's choice). RECOMMENDED: (General)

Artistic Ability, Dancing, Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no

penalty), Gaming.



EQUIPMENT: The Houri can spend her money on anything she likes.

Remember, that the Houri should maintain a level of high beauty. Thus,

jewelry, fine clothing, and perfumes are a favorite items of purchase

for a Houri.



SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Houri has a special power of seduction described

in the "Seduction For The Professional" section.

     The Houri receives a +3 reaction modifier from men.



SPECIAL HINDRANCES: A Houri is not allowed to wear protective armor;

indeed, the less clothing she wears, the more effective she is.

     The Houri receives a -3 reaction modifier from women, for obvious

reasons.

     The Houri refuses to live the terrible poor life she once had.

Thus, when making purchase, the Houri accepts nothing but the best,

whether it be a meal, a room for the night, a weapon, or even a chest

to carry her possessions. Any time she buys any item, the Houri must

pay 10 to 100 percent more than the listed price. The GM will decide

the price paid by the Houri, which may vary from item to item,

depending on the quality of merchandise in a particular locale.



WEALTH OPTIONS: The Houri receives only (1d4+1) x 5 GP for starting

money.



RACES: A Houri can only be human, elven, or half-elven.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                       SEDUCER: WIZARD SUB-CLASS





DESCRIPTION: Where the Houri tends to be bubbly and perhaps a little

indiscriminate, the Seducer (Seductress if female) is more subtle and

discreet in his efforts. He will be dressed elegantly but not showy,

have excellent taste in all that matters, and be very capable of

following through on everything he promises... but whether he does, is

another story. Seducers are the Valmonts and the Casanovas of the magic

world. In addition to the normal requirements for a magic user, the

Seducer must have a minimum 15 Charisma and 12 Wisdom (to be able to

figure out all the tricky angles to use on which particular person).



PREFERRED SCHOOLS: Seducers may not specialize.



ROLE: The Seducer is the man that all the women swoon over and the

Seductress the woman men fight over. They are manipulators in cunning

and subtle ways -- yet they are not all evil, some merely wish to

explore their sexuality in as many ways as they can, and some are

merely looking for a mutual good time.



WEAPON SKILL: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon easily

hidden and carried about.



NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Dancing, Artistic Ability, any one

sexual NWP. The Seducer is assumed either to have come from a high-

class background or to be aspiring to/pretending to have one.

RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty), Gaming.



EQUIPMENT: The Seducer should spend a fair amount of money on good

clothing, and should bear in mind if male that taking all those lovely

ladies to dinner will cost a pretty penny.



SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Seducer uses a special power of seduction

described in the "Seduction For The Professional" section with the

following formula rather than the one given:



              Seducer's level + his Charisma

              ---------------------------------------------

              Victim's level + modifiers + Wisdom bonus

                                           vs. charm spells



     Additionally, the Seducer receives a kind of "professional

courtesy" from fellow charmers. Such creatures as mermaids, succubi,

medusae, vampires, sirines, or others that use natural charm spells

(GM's discretion) will not attack the Seducer and will be friendly

toward him as long as he is the same toward them. Same creatures will

be neutral to the Seducer's companions so long as those companions are

same toward them, but even should the companions attack the creatures

will not attack the Seducer until he attacks them.



SPECIAL HINDRANCES: The Seducer must maintain his wardrobe, and is

constantly replacing articles which have been muddied or torn. They are

such perfectionists in their craft that they will dispose of anything

that will harm their seductive craft unless it can be perfectly mended.

They will also pay 10%-100% more than the normal cost whenever making a

purchase due to their exacting standards.

    The longer a Seducer practices, the more charming he becomes -- so

much so, in fact, that any humanoid of the opposite sex who comes in

contact with him must save vs. spell at a penalty equal to the

Seducer's level, and with no magical protective aid (no rings of

protection, etc., but Wisdom bonus is allowed) or become mildly

enamoured of him and disposed towards jealousy of any perceived rivals.

This can work to the Seducer's advantage, but not when he's trying to

seduce the Duchess and the enamoured chambermaids are putting mud in

her stockings.

     Additionally, should a natural 1 be rolled on the saving throw,

the victim will become completely obsessed with the Seducer. The victim

will do anything (even violate his alignment) to gain the Seducer's

love, and will deal ruthlessly with all rivals, real or perceived.

This condition will last until negated by a Cure Insanity cast by a

cleric of higher level than the Seducer, a Heal, a Limited Wish, a

Wish, an Alter Reality or an Angel's Negation is cast on the afflicted.

Alternately, 2d12 sessions psychotherapy lasting one hour each will

grant the same result as an Angel's Negation.



WEALTH OPTIONS: The Seducer begins with 5d4x10 gold pieces of starting

money to simulate his higher standing.  However, he must spend 50% of

it on clothing.



RACES: A Seducer can theoretically be any race, although most GMs would

probably prefer to limit it to humans, elves and half- elves.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                      SEDUCTRESS: ROGUE SUB-CLASS





DESCRIPTION: The Houri does it for sleazy pleasure, the

Seducer/Seductress mage does it for professional pleasure, but the

rogue Seductress does it for the wealth.

     The Seductress is a female rogue who uses her special abilities of

seduction to get what she wants. Unlike the mage Seductress who is in

it more for lust, the rogue Seductress is more materialistic using lust

to get things.

     In addition to the normal requirements for a rogue, the Seductress

must have a minimum Dexterity of 12, a minimum Wisdom of 13, and a

minimum Charisma of 15. The prime requisites are dexterity and

charisma.

     A Seductress can be any chaotic alignment or neutral evil.



ROLE: Seductresses are the women that men gawk over. They are

manipulators in cunning and subtle ways typically getting what they

want which is usually money. And if they have some wonderful sexually

experiences, they better.

     Many thieves guilds have at least one Seductress high up in the

organization. Most Seductresses latch onto the guild leader and use

their powers to control the leader as a puppet and thus rule the guild

from behind the scenes.



Skill Progression: The Seductress has the thieves skills of Pick

Pockets, Move Silently, Hide in Shadows, and Detect Noise. The

Seductress doesn't have the thieving skills of Open Locks, Find/Remove

Traps, Climb Walls, and Read Languages.



WEAPON SKILL: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon easily

hidden and carried about.



NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Dancing, Disguise, any one sexual

NWP. RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing, Gaming.



EQUIPMENT: The Seductress should spend a fair amount of money on good

clothing, perfume, and other items of beautification. The Seductress

doesn't wear armor as it hides her beautiful body unless shes on a

thieving excursion and then leather armor is acceptable.



SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Seductress uses a special power of seduction

described in the "Seduction For The Professional" section with the

following formula rather than the one given:



              Seductress level + (her Charisma / 2)

              ---------------------------------------------

              Victim's level + modifiers + Wisdom bonus

                                           vs. charm spells





SPECIAL HINDRANCES: The Seductress must maintain her wardrobe, and is

constantly replacing articles which have been muddied or torn. They are

such perfectionists in their craft that they will dispose of anything

that will harm their seductive craft unless it can be perfectly mended.

They will also pay 10%-100% more than the normal cost whenever making a

purchase due to their exacting standards.

     Note also that the Seductress also has a great love for jewelry.

After all a woman is only as beautiful as her accessories. So the

Seductress is required to spend a considerable amount of money on such

things.

     The rogue Seductress is typically looked down upon by Houris and

mage Seducers. They usually go out of their way to make life difficult

for Seductresses when possible.



WEALTH OPTIONS: The Seductress begins with 5d4x10 gold pieces of

starting money to simulate his higher standing. However, he must spend

50% of it on clothing.



RACES: A Seductress can theoretically be any race that can be rogues,

although most GMs would probably prefer to limit it to humans, elves,

and half-elves.



SEDUCTRESS' GUILDS: These guilds are mostly in large cities and often

found in matriarch cities. The guilds provide training for seductresses

and will provide most often cheap room and board. The guilds are often

connected to the government officials. This way they can provide

service without any need for secrecy.

     The guild will give information on other guild locations and

places where males are the minority of a population. That way a working

woman can be financed easily. The guilds are often against any male

ruled kingdoms and will pay for services of destabilize these

governments. The dues are paid by training and using the facilities of

the guild. Such as baths, cosmetics, spells, etc..

     The guilds are run by older seductresses. They often have

heagmasters and a small council. They set up rules and dress codes for

the area  Some guilds provide the community with escort services.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                          PSIDUCER: PSIONICIST





DESCRIPTION: The Psiducer is a telepath who uses her (or his) psionic

ability to for pleasure and power. Like the mage seducer, the Psi-

Seducer seeks pleasurable experiences through manipulation of others.

Like the rogue seducer, the Psiducer seeks wealth and power.

     The Psiducer is always looks wonderful. The mind is great but the

body looks the best. The Psiducer dresses quite elegantly favoring silk

clothing above all others (some sages say that silk helps channel

psionic power).

     In addition to the normal requirements for a psionicist, the Psi-

Seducer must have a minimum 16 Charisma. The Psiducer can be of any

alignment allowed by psionicists. Telepathic is her primary discipline.



ROLE: The Psiducer is a much desired person. A beautiful person with a

good mind; what a combination (and probably dangerous). The Psiducer is

concerned with her own needs which mainly revolves around the pleasures

of the mind and body and most Psiducers will pursue this avenue to the

end. As part of the Psiducer's vanity, she strives for large quantities

of material wealth and will use her powers of seduction to get it.

Having money brings power which keeps the Psiducer's lifestyle

pleasing.



CHOSEN DISCIPLINES: REQUIRED: Telepathic RECOMMENDED: Psychometabolic,

Clairsentient



SCIENCES: REQUIRED: Split Personality. RECOMMENDED: Domination, Mass

Domination, Switch Personality, Probe, Aura Sight, Clairaudience,

Clairvoyance, Create Object, Appraise.



DEVOTIONS: REQUIRED: one Sexual Psionic Devotion, Attraction, Awe,

Empathy. RECOMMENDED: Conceal Thoughts, Contact, Daydream, ESP, False

Sensory Input, Psychic Impersonation, Repugnance, Post-Hypnotic

Suggestion, Telepathic Projection, Inflict Pain.



WEAPON SKILL: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon easily

hidden and carried about.



NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Artistic Ability, any two sexual

NWP. RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty),

Gaming.



EQUIPMENT: The Psiducer spends a fair amount of money on

beautification. The Psiducer doesn't wear armor as it hides her

beautiful body.



SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Psiducer is a pleasure to be around and doesn't

need any more benefits.



SPECIAL HINDRANCES: Because they use their psionic abilities for earthy

reasons, the Psiducer is looked down upon by other psionicists. This

results in a reaction penalty (usually 5%) decided by the GM.



RACES: Any that may be a psionicist.



NOTES: Here are some creative uses for existing powers:



     - Disintegrate clothes

     - Expansion of Bust or Hips

     - Probe for sexual experience or preference

     - Induce pleasure on herself

     - Summon Planar Creature - Succubus

     - Adrenaline Control - Increase Constitution



Here are psionic powers that creative psionicist are working on:



     - Below Waist Project Force

     - Disease Sense

     - Ecstasy Field

     - Create Insanity (a very special Psychic Surgery)

     - Beautification (a very special Metamorphosis)

     - Desire Whip

     - Sexual Insinuation

     - Sexual Daydream

     - Desire Amplification

     - Graft Partner



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                         "I'M JUST A GIGOLO..."



                         GIGOLO: BARD SUB-CLASS





SPECIALTY: Entertainer/Lover/Romantic.



QUALIFICATIONS: Standard ability scores (Dexterity of 12, Intelligence

of 13, Charisma of 15). Gigolos must have a Constitution of 16 or more.

Humans, Half-elfs, Elves may become Gigolos but they must be male.

     Although it is not required, the recommended alignments for

Gigolos are Neutral Good, Neutral, and Neutral Evil. These alignments

seem most appropriate. Lawful characters would steer clear of

situations that Gigolos often find themselves in. Also, chaotic

characters couldn't remain with just one person long enough which is

what the Gigolo sub-class is all about.



INTRODUCTION:      I'm Just A Gigolo (Sad and Lonely)



                                       --- by Roth Van Clevens





                 I'm just a Gigolo and everywhere I go,

                   people know the part I'm playin',



               Pay for every dance, selling each romance,

                       ohhh, what they're sayin',



           There will come a day, when youth will pass away,

                      what will they say about me,



            Well the in crowd will know, I am just a Gigolo,

                        LIFE goes on without me,



                                 Cause'



                          I, ain't got nobody,

                  nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody,



                         I'm so sad and lonely,

                    sad and lonely, sad and lonely,



                   Won't some sweet mama come with me,

                            I ain't so bad,



                        Booza Booza Bop Tity Bop.





DESCRIPTION: Sages refer to gigolos as men paid to be women's escorts

or lovers. Some view gigolos as sad versions of Gallants, but gigolos

are more. Sure Gallants are pure and romantic, but their only concern

is their own personal passions. They charm and steal the hearts of

women and then wisk away. The only time Gallants are concerned for

others is when they can obtain glory and prestige. On the other hand,

Gigolos make their living entertaining women. Their whole purpose is to

please and satisfy women.



ROLE: A gigolo travels the lands looking for a beautiful woman (usually

wealthy and single and probably being a widow) to satisfy. He will stay

with one woman until the situation becomes unrewarding.

     When a gigolo goes adventuring, it is likely the result of a

request from a fair maiden, to retrieve an item of beauty and love, or

for some other romantic cause. Unless a woman is present, the gigolo

will probably stand clear of danger. But if a woman is looking on, then

the gigolo will be quite the hero.



SECONDARY SKILLS: Merchant, Domestic Servant.



WEAPON SKILL: Gigolos must use gentleman weapons such as the rapier,

epee, foil, sabre, and dagger. They may not use missile weapons such as

long bow, short bow, crossbow, darts, etc..



NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Sexual Endurance, Sexual Knowledge,

Massage, Poetry. RECOMMENDED: (General) Artistic Ability, Dancing,

Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty).



ARMOR/EQUIPMENT: A Gigolo is not allowed to wear protective armor;

indeed, the less clothing he wears, the more effective he is.



SPECIAL BENEFITS:

     The Gigolo gains a +05% adjustment to the Detect Noise thief

skill, because listening is very important to him (especially for the

approaching footsteps of husbands, boyfriends, etc). Also, a Gigolo

gains a +10% adjustment to the Read Languages thief skill, because most

of Gigolo's customers are going to be fairly educated and most of them

are likely to have a substantial library.

     Poetic Charm: A Gigolo who directs his attention to one person of

the opposite sex can attempt to win that person's heart. This requires

the Gigolo to perform many subtle acts of wit and charm. Among these

acts must be the recital of at least one poem concerning the person.

The entire effort takes a minimum of 10 minus the bard's level turns

(not less then one turn), after which the person rolls a saving throw

vs. Paralyzation with a -1 penalty per four levels of the Gigolo.

Failure means that the person is affected as if the Gigolo cast a Charm

spell on him or her.

     The effect is not magical and doesn't wear off over time, unless

the Gigolo treats the person badly or exploits them. Each abuse results

in another saving throw being rolled to break the Gigolo's charm. The

Dungeon Master may apply adjustments based on the situation.

     Personalize: This Benefit allows the Gigolo to personalize any

song, poem, or story for 1 person. This makes the person targeted feel

as if the poem, song, or story is about them. Once a piece has been

personalized the target will perform any suggestion the Bard makes as

long as it is not contrary to their nature for 2d10 rounds. If a Bard

personalizes a bit for someone else within 5 turns of the previous

target, the first target will fly into a rage from jealousy. Although

the first target may not act right away, he or she will attempt some

form of revenge. It is up to the Dungeon Master to determine the

quantity and method of revenge.

     Domestic Skill: A Gigolo will excel at any one domestic skill.

The Bard will be able to succeed in all but the most extreme attempts

at his or her particular skill. The domestic skills include but are not

limited to: cooking, cleaning, shopping, butler, fashion consultant,

etiquette, diplomacy, wine connoisseur. The Bard should pick one of

these to excel in, but may take any of the others as a skill. These

skills are used by the Bard to impress any customer and can become an

asset when payment is considered.

     Conceal Activities: The Gigolo may have more than one customer.

This ability allows the Bard to Conceal his activities with one

customer from his other customers. It comes into effect when a customer

asks the Bard about his "off-time". The Bard is able to skillfully fend

off any inquiries by redirecting them onto other subjects. Only under a

spell or spell-like effect will the Bard reveal his other activities

(unless he wants them revealed, of course).



SPECIAL HINDRANCES:

     The Gigolo receives a -3 reaction modifier from men, for obvious

reasons. Also, the Gigolo will not gain any followers and will in most

cases not have a strong hold.

     The Gigolo suffers a -10% adjustment to the Pick Pockets thief

skill, because he doesn't practice this skill much since it has little

value for him.

     The Gigolo refuses to live the terrible poor life. Thus, when

making purchase, the Gigolo accepts nothing but the best, whether it be

a meal, a room for the night, a weapon, or even a chest to carry his

possessions. Any time he buys any item, the Gigolo must pay 10 to 100

percent more than the listed price. The GM will decide the price paid

by the Gigolo, which may vary from item to item, depending on the

quality of merchandise in a particular locale.

     The Gigolo contacts many females in an intimate way. If he

contacts any sexual disease and passes it on to a client, he will not

be contacted by any new clients, and as word gets around he will lose

all his clients. Eventually he will not be able to support himself in

his current place of residence and will be forced to move to another

locale.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





            GETTING TO KNOW A PROSTITUTE (RANDOM GENERATOR)





OVERALL PROSTITUTES



     Before getting to know a specific prostitute, the prostitute pool

should be known. The GM may make adjustments as she/she deems

necessary.



     To decide the number of prostitutes in a given settlement examine

Table 1. Make adjustments based on alignment of the settlement (Table

2). NOTE: Most GMs feel that the number of prostitutes should never

exceed 10% of the total population unless the settlements primary

function is prostitution. Therefore, adjustments should be made

accordingly.





TABLE 1: Number of Prostitutes



     Settlement        Population       # Of Prostitutes

     Thorp               20-80                1d6

     Hamlet             100-400               1d10

     Village, Wych      600-900               1d20

     Town              1500-6500              1d100

     City             10000-60000             2d100





TABLE 2: Alignment Adjustments To # Of Prostitutes



     Lawful    divide by 2

     Chaotic   multiply by 2

     Good      divide by 2

     Evil      multiply by 2





     Information on prostitutes working under management can be found

in the "The House Of Ill Repute" section.





GETTING A FEEL FOR THE PROSTITUTE



     Not all prostitutes are alike. Below are the steps necessary to

make a very unique and exciting prostitute.



1) Choose an appropriate sex for the prostitute. Randomly, there is a

80% of female prostitutes and a 20% of male prostitutes.



2) Choose an appropriate race in respects to the environment (i.e.

area, population, politics, etc.).



3) Generate ability scores as describe in your RPG system. The

prostitutes highest ability should probably be constitution.



4) Height and weight can be generated randomly using Table 3. Take the

appropriate base score and add the die roll modifier.



5) Roll on Table 4 three times to get hair color, eye color, and

complexion.



6) Age can be generated randomly using Table 5. Take the appropriate

base age and add the die roll modifier.



7) The various measurements of a women can be generated as followed:



   - Roll on Table 6 to get the vital measurement statistic.

   - To find bust size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Bust

     modifier (Table 7).

   - To find waist size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Waist

     modifier (Table 7) .

   - To find hip size, add the Bust to the proper Hips adjustment

     (Table 7) .



   If the woman's height is below 5 feet, then modify bust and hips by

   -2.



8) The major measurement of a man is 1d4+5 inches.



9) With prostitutes can come bad things. Roll on Table 9 to decide if

anything bad comes with the prostitute. Then, roll on the appropriate

table in the appropriate section of the guide.



10) With prostitutes can come good things as well. Namely, specialties

that the buyer may really like. Roll on Table 10 to decide if anything

extra comes with the prostitute. With specialties come additional

costs. Adjustments to cost are shown on this table as well. (Cost is

calculate next.)



11) The average cost to hire a prostitute is 1000 SP / number of

prostitutes available. Thus, the average cost for a prostitute in a

town with 10 prostitutes is 100 SP each.

     Adjustments are made based on inclination. Roll on Table 10 to get

inclination with adjustments from Table 11 and Table 12. Add the

listed percent of the current cost to the current cost to get the new

cost.  Inclination is just an attitude that the prostitute has towards

the prospective client which affects the price.

     Another adjustment is made based on specialty, which was

calculated early (Table 9). Add the listed percent of the current cost

to the current cost to get the new cost.

     The last adjustment is made based on the race of the prostitute.

Multiple the multiplier from Table 13 to the current cost to get the

final cost. (NOTE: This adjustment is mainly for human settlements.  An

all dwarven settlement would have a higher demand for other creatures

then dwarves. Thus, prices for humans would probably be more.)

     Additional costs can manifest itself when patronizing a courtesan.

A player might have to spend money on a meal (they got to eat too),

alcoholic beverages (no doubt), a room (unless you like doing it in an

alley), and medical expenses (you give them a disease, you pay for it).





     Now, a nice versatile prostitute has been created, but there still

is room for improvement. Keep in mind that some prostitutes are thieves

(probably high-level) and should have such abilities. Some could even

be fighters with weapon specializations in knives and daggers. There

could even be cleric prostitutes who worship some evil deity of lust.

     The thing to remember is that a GM can use a prostitute as a very

important NPC. Prostitutes usually have information (dirt) on everybody

who passes through their beds; not to mention pillow talk info. that

shouldn't have been told. A prostitute is more interesting than the old

fat tavern keeper with old boring stories.  Keep this in mind, before

throwing out such an encounter.





TABLE 3: Height And Weight



              Height in Inches        Weight In Pounds

Race         Base*     Modifier      Base*      Modifier

Dwarf        43/41     1d10          130/105     4d10

Elf          55/50     1d10           90/70      3d10

Gnome        38/36     1d6            72/68      5d4

Half-Elf     60/58     2d6           110/85      3d12

Halfling     32/30     2d8            52/48      5d4

Human        60/59     2d10          140/100     6d10



  * Females tend to be lighter and shorter than males. Thus, the base

numbers for height and weight are divided into male/female values.

Note that the modifier will allow for a broad range in each category.





TABLE 4: Color Stats.



Die

Roll    Hair Color       Eye Color           Complexion

01-13   Brunette         Lt. Blue            Dusky Olive

14-26   Blond            Dk. Green           Bronze

27-34   Auburn           Hazel               Milky White

35-42   Sable            Brown               Ebony

43-50   Crimson          Crimson             Lt. Red

51-58   Silver           Silver              Yellow

59-67   White            Lt. Green           Brown

68-75   Sky Blue         Dk. Blue            Golden

76-83   Lt. Green        Pink                CHOOSE

84-91   Lilac            CHOOSE              CHOOSE

92-99   Iridescent       CHOOSE              CHOOSE

 00     Bald             Each Eye Diff.      CHOOSE





TABLE 5: Age



Race         Base      Modifier

Dwarf          40        5d6

Elf           100        5d6

Gnome          60        3d12

Half-Elf       15        1d6

Halfling       20        3d4

Human          15        1d4





TABLE 6: Vital Measurement Statistic



Die

Roll   Vital Stat.

01-30      22"

31-50      23"                * CONSTITUTION   V.S. MODIFIER

51-65      24"                      3-8             -2

66-77      25"                      9-12             0

78-82      26"                     13-18            +2

83-85      27"

86-90      28"

91-94      29"

95-97      30"

98-99      31"

 00        32"





TABLE 7: The Measurements



Charisma *             Bust           Waist           Hips

   3                    0             5-30"           +6d6"

  4-5                  5-8"           2-12"           +1d6"

  6-8                  6-9"           1-4"              0

  9-11                 7-10"          1-2"              0

 12-15                 8-11"           0                0

 16-17                 9-12"           0               -1"

  18                  10-12"           0               -2"



     * Optionally, you may prefer to use Comeliness rather than

Charisma since Comeliness is a better representation of beauty.





TABLE 8: Prostitute Extras



Die

Roll   Extra

01-49  Nothing

50-79  Natural Disease

80-89  Magical Disease

90-99  Insanity

 00    ROLL TWICE





TABLE 9: Specialty



Die

Roll   Specialty     Adjustment

01-49  Nothing           0

50-69  Massage         + 10%

70-79  Anal Sex        + 20%

80-89  Oral Sex        + 40%

90-97  Bondage         + 60%

98-99  Roll Twice      + 80%

 00    Roll Thrice     + 100%





TABLE 10: Inclination



Die

Roll      Inclination    Adjustment

 01       Loathe           + 100%

 02       Hate             + 75%

03-04     Dislike          + 50%

05-06     Aloof            + 25%

07-08     Sympathetic      - 30%

09-11     Interested       - 40%

12-14     Playful          - 50%

15-16     Capacious        - 60%

17-18     Fondness         - 70%

 19       Infatuation      - 80%

 20       Passionate       - 90%





TABLE 11: Disposition Modifier To Inclination



Die

Roll      Disposition  Mod.

01-02     Angry         -3

03-04     Jealous       -2

05-07     Pensive       -1

08-10     Tired          0

11-13     Tender        +1

14-15     Excited       +2

16-17     Ardent        +3

18-19     Erotic        +5

 20       Obsessed      +6





TABLE 12: Charisma Of Client Modifier To Inclination



Charisma  Mod.

  0-12     0

 13-16    +1

  17      +2

  18      +3





TABLE 13: Racial Multipliers to cost



Race           Multiplier

Human             1.0

Elven             5.0

Half-Elven        2.5

Dwarven           3.0

Halfling          4.0

Orchish           0.5

Half-Orchish      0.7

Exotic (Other)    8.0



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                    FILLING THE HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE





    The information for this section is taken from the out-of-print

        The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)

              If you find this classic RPG aide, grab it.





     A brothel, bawdy house, whore house, relaxation emporium, or

whatever the name are places where a person may go for an evening of

entertainment (so to speak).



     A brothel comes in three sizes:    Size      Employees

                                        Small        4d4

                                        Medium       6d6

                                        Large        8d8



     In addition to the regular employees listed above, there will be a

number of amateurs who use a house as a base. They will usually average

50% of the regular staff of that house. There will usually be a small

number of girls in training, frequently working as maids for the top

regulars. They will number approximately 25% of the regulars - these

girls do not yet work with the customers.



     As Table 1 shows, there are four classes of brothels. The GM can

roll randomly or choose. Slavery is banned in most places, but not all;

so it is included in the table.





TABLE 1: Brothel Classes



Die

Roll      Class

01-03     Fine

04-12     Normal

13-16     Low

17-20     Slave





     House amateurs usually receive about one-half the going rate; one

does not find amateurs on a slave house. The racial mix in the average

house of its class is given on Table 2; one may either specify the race

of the girl involved (as in the rules in the prostitute random

generator), or roll dice (1d100) for each girl to see who's available.





TABLE 2: Races Found In Different Classes



Race              Fine    Normal   Low    Slave

Human             01-62   01-67   01-70   01-60

Elven             63-70   68-70    ---    61-64

Half-Elven        71-82   71-79   71-75   65-74

Dwarven           83-84    80      ---     75

Halfling           85      81      ---     76

Orchish           86-88   82-87   76-84   77-84

Half-Orchish      89-97   88-99   85-00   85-95

Exotic (Other)    98-00    00      ---    96-00





     Houses tend to be run by women, although some are managed by men

(occasionally chosen by the girls, frequently simply the "boss" who has

hired them). If run by a woman, she is usually (80%) a high rank

courtesan herself, and will occasionally be available to preferred

(wealthy - and I do mean filthy, stinkin' rich) customers.

     There are usually some additional costs involved in patronizing a

courtesan in such an establishment. Although entertainment is usually

provided at no extra cost in the major houses, a character should

expect to spend the price of the girl's meal and alcoholic beverages.

If a character should wish to spend the entire night with the lady of

his choice, the cost increase by 50%. This does, of course, provide one

with a room for the night as well as a cuddly bed companion. If a man

is dealing with one of the girls who work on the street, there is a 25%

surcharge to provide a room, unless the customer has nearby (within 2

to 3 blocks at the farthest) quarters.

     Time spent in a house can be as much as 4 to 6 hours (if not

overnight). With one of the street girls, an interlude should occupy

about 1-1/2 to 2 hours.

     The chance of a prostitute having a disease is less based on the

class of a house in which the girl works. The higher the class of the

house, the better health care the girls receive, and the lower the

chances of infection.

     In a Normal house, there is a -5% modifier to the chance of the

girl being infected. In a Fine house, there is a -10%  modifier to the

chance of the girl being infected. In a Slave house, there is a -15%

modifier to the chance of the girl being infected. This is high because

most slavers consider losing income or valuable property to disease

uneconomical. With the girls on the street, there is no modifier to the

chance of the girl being infected.







           CASE: THE BLUE TAVERN (ENTERTAINMENT AND PLEASURE)





    The information for this section is taken from the out-of-print

        The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)

              If you find this classic RPG aide, grab it.





                            The Blue Tavern

                      (Entertainment and pleasure)



OWNER: Kinalla Silkskin (STR: 9, DEX: 9, CON: 15, INT: 12, WIS: 9, CHA:

12) was once considered the most beautiful and accomplished courtesan

in the city (40 years ago). She is still attractive (particularly for

the generic set), and will occasionally entertain a customer. Black-

haired (with the help of a good hairdresser), black-eyed, and still

slender, she has a good business mind, and succeed in purchasing the

Blue Lantern from its former madame some 20 years ago; the quality and

name of the establishment have increased under her management.



HOURS: 24 hours a day.



EXTERIOR: A three-story building that is slightly inset from the street

proper. It has a wide opening centered on the ground floor, above which

hangs a large lantern which glows blue (the color is intense enough to

be easily distinguished even in full daylight). There is an ally on the

south side  of the building, a walled garden in the rear, and a row of

small shops to the immediate north.



INTERIOR: Immediately inside the opening is a spacious room dominated

by a fountain which sprays a lightly scented blue liquid into the air

above the wide basin. Three elaborately carved screens block the view

of the other exits from this room.

     Behind the screen to the left is a lounge (to handle the musicians

and entertainers who perform in the theater). A hall leads to the wings

of the theater, and to a dressing room. To the right is a large office,

where the accounting and management personnel work. It is seldom

occupied after about 6:00 PM, and is almost always locked, even during

normal business hours.

     The opening behind the third screen leads to a room with a wide

marble staircase. To the left is the "Hall of Beauty".. where many fair

flowers wait to be plucked. There are usually 4d4 girls lounging about

here, in various states of revealment. A wide opening leads to the

entertainment area, where wine and song are provided (if you came

through the Hall, you already have the women). The theater area is two

stories, and has a large stage with a runway and an orchestra pit.  A

long bar in the rear dispenses alcoholic beverages of many kinds.

Meals may be ordered from the kitchen. Most of the food supplies for

both the girls and the customers are stored in the pantry off the

kitchen.

     The remainder of the house is devoted to living (and working)

quarters for the regular girls. The smaller rooms on the second and

third floors are used for the transient entertainment of clients. The

larger rooms area housing for the regulars. Kinalla has a suite on the

third floor, with a circular iron staircase giving access to both the

garden and the bar.



PRICE RANGE: As per the girl's qualifications.



QUALITY: This house is Fine, and of medium size.



OUTSTANDING ITEMS: There is young newcomer, Bianca (STR: 8, DEX: 10,

CON: 18, INT: 9, WIS: 7, CHA: 15), who has made quite a splash with the

customers. She is the runaway daughter of a noble family and is a

neutral courtesan. She has altered her name and dyed her hair to change

her appearance.



CASH BOX: The money gained in the theater-bar is kept in a wooden

coffer stashed under the curved end of the bar. The girls are

responsible for collecting their own earnings, and are expected to pay

one-quarter to the house (if Kinalla discovers a girl is cheating on

the amounts, she simply requests her to leave and not return; Kinalla

does not believe in violence).



OCCUPANTS:



Staff: Kinalla, Bianca, and 17 other girls (11 of whom split the large

rooms used for residence). There are 12 part-timers, 3 maidens-in-

training, and various ancillary service personnel (none of whom reside

in the house). The bouncer, Kethelas (STR: 17, DEX: 14, CON: 11, INT:

10, WIS: 7, CHA: 10), a bull of a man with sufficient physical power to

toss an unruly customer lightly over the garden wall into the alley,

has worked at the Blue Lantern as long as Kinalla, and has been her

best friend and lover nearly that long.



Customers: Many.



NPC ENCOUNTERS: A cast of thousands.



SPECIAL OPTIONS: None.



SCENARIO: The Nobleman's Daughter



Player's Information: In most of the taverns of the city, the

disappearance of Lady Byelaya Tainley some three months ago caused many

whispers. She still has not been located, and no ransom note has been

received by her family. Descriptions of the 16 year old girl (very

beautiful and highly attractive, medium height, slender, blonde hair,

blue eyes) have been nosed about, and the family is offering a reward

of 1,000 silver pieces for news of her. The girl was always known as a

loner by the other maidens of the high, rich quarter. She had only one

close friend - Cortina de la Riis.



GM's Notes: Byelaya Tainley has had dreams of being a hetaera (a very

high class courtesan) since she heard, as young girl, a very romantic

story in which the heroine was a courtesan (she had confided these

dreams to no one, not even her closet friend). Three months ago, she

dyed her hair brown, changed her name to Bianca, and ran away from

home. She began working at the Blue Lantern. No one at the house knows

her origins, and certainly no one suspects she is the daughter of a

noble house. Bianca (byelaya - both names mean "white") is a natural

courtesan - she enjoys men, and men definitely enjoy her. She has that

indefinable quality of innocence that is irresistible. She has rapidly

progressed, in the little time she has been at the Blue Lantern, from a

very green novice to a competent intermediate.

     A few weeks ago, Cortina de la Riis, Byelaya's only close friend

among the girls of the rich section, was traveling to her voice lessons

and spotted a young girl with brown hair who closely resembled Byelaya

(Bianca had gone out to do a little shopping, and was not wearing her

veil) except for the hair color. Cortina has worried about Byelaya

since her disappearance, and has asked her brother Thomas to check out

the girl she spotted circumspectly. Thomas is looking around for a

group to do some investigating on this matter, and there is a chance he

may choose the player-characters to do the job.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                    ENCOUNTER NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS





                                Specific



Kuber Hasbin: Note that the information for this section is taken from

The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.) page L-2.

     Kuber lives and works in the deepest wilds of the city. His house

includes a clinic in which he treats anyone who walks in the door (he

has even been known to make house calls!), regardless of financial

status (there ain't none in his part of town). Kuber doesn't practice

healing for the love of mankind (or any other race, for that matter).

He is totally interested in the spectrum of disease available in the

area. At times he has been heard to comment that he has "seen diseases

I would not have believed it possible for a person to contract. With

what this one man had, he should have been dead 5 years ago!" Kuber's

house is given an unobtrusive guard by the Thieves' Guild, who

appreciate the work he is doing, whatever his motivation. Anyone in the

quarter can give directions to Kuber's House.





Cindy Wind Rider



Elf Female 5th Level Priest of the elven goddess of love and beauty



Homeworld: Any but she was created for Planes



Faction: The Society of Sensation



S: 10, I: 10, W: 16, C: 14, D: 16, Ch: 18, L: 9; AL: CN (she follows

the bitch rule); htk: 26; To Hit: 18; #AT: 1; Dmg: Weapon



Age: 26  Height: 1.63m (62 in)  Weight: 56Kg (114 lb)

Hair: Black with a silver strip  Eyes: Light Blue



Granted Powers:

     level 1  - friends

     level 2  - Charm person (only on males)

     level 7  - +1 on Charisma

     level 10 - Can make philter of love 1/week.



Requirements of Priesthood:

     - Weapon skill in bow, net, staff, mace, sling, mancatcher

     - Armor of leather or chain-mail

     - Spheres: all, charm, creation, guardian, healing, necromantic,

       plant, protection, sun, wards*, weather*; (* minor access)



Psionic Wild Talent: Sexual Pheromones Secretion (Con-4, 9, 6/round)

PSP: 48



Weapon Skills: Long Bow, Staff



Nonweapon Skills: Singing, Dancing, Religion, Healing, Seduction,

Sexual Knowledge, Massage, Fast Talking, Fortune Telling, Herbalism,

Riding.



Preferred Spells: Cure Light Wounds (1), Bless (1), Cause Fear (1),

Camouflage (2), Music of Spheres (2), Hold Person (2), Charm Person or

Mammal (2), Bestow Curse (3), Magical Vestment (3).



Role-playing notes: The priest must always give shelter and succor to

young lovers.





Cindy Wind Rider (version 2)



Elf Female 5th Level Battle Dancer (Fighter / Water Cleric)



Homeworld: Any but she was created for the Sun World



Tribe: Wind Dancer



S: 11, I: 10, W: 16, C: 15, D: 18, Ch: 19, L: 9; AL: CN (she follows

the bitch rule); htk: 38; To Hit: 16; #AT: 2 (two elven bone long

swords); Dmg: 1d8 (+1 when dancing)



Age: 18  Height: 2.00m (75 in)  Weight: 70Kg (138 lb)

Hair: Black with a silver strip  Eyes: Light Blue



Special Benefits: Battle Dancers can attack with two weapons without

penalties. With a successful use of dancing skill she receives a

additional +1 attack/damage/armor class bonus.



Special Hindrances: If she fails her dancing skill roll she

receives a -1 penalty for 1d8 rounds.



Granted Powers: Ignore Water, Water Breathing, Healing Draft, Body of

Water, Turn Undead



Psionic Wild Talent: Sexual Pheromones Secretion (Con-4, 9, 6/round)

PSP:48



Weapon Skills: Long Sword, Long Bow



Nonweapon Skills: Blind Fighting, Dancing, Religion, Healing,

Seduction, Singing, Sexual Knowledge, Massage, Fast Talking, Fortune

Telling, Spellcraft.



Preferred Spells: Cure Light Wounds (1), Create Water (1), Cause Fear

(1), Speak With Water (2), Crystallize (2), Hold Person (2), Charm

Person or Mammal (2), Bestow Curse (3), Magical Vestment (3).



Role-Playing Notes: No one impersonate the elven independent spirit as

perfectly as Cindy Wind Rider. As many Sun elves she is always in a

rush, figuratively and literally racing to stay in the now. She rarely

makes plans or thinks about the future. She wants to live every moment

in an expressive joy. She will love, play, sing, dance and tries to

enjoy herself in every moment. She will love with no obligations or

promises, just an intense, unrestrained and overflowing love. She will

refuse to think or plane beyond the now. She is very moody and normally

surprises everybody with her actions.

     She is very inconsequent, but without any malice or evil

intentions. In a certain point of view she is very innocent. She is

very beautiful and she knows how to use her beauty. She is a great

dancer and singer and she will prefer tunes of sadness and love. Her

dances are extremely seductive and no male will forget after catching

even a brief glimpse of her captivating moves.

     She normally dresses few clothes and tries to enhance her

seductiveness and she is particular vulnerable to beautiful gems.

Anytime a male gives her a jewel she must roll in Moods & Attitudes

table with a +2 bonus (see Cindy's table bellow).



Die

Roll  Moods & Attitudes

 1    furious, hate or extremely depressed or stressed

 2    pissed off, vengeful, cruel

 3    self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic

 4    depressed, sullen, feeling inadequate, pessimistic

 5    vain, proud, lazy, bored, omnipotent feeling

 6    restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with

 6    playful, energetic, daring, foolhardy, practical joker

 7    happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly

 8    desperate lover, in love, passionate, fiery, enthusiastic,

      nymphomaniac



     She is a very funny character to play and sometime she will create

very interesting and funny situations. One of the best stories was when

she was in a city with a party. She went out with one of the party

members (another female) and decide to go to the elven market at night.

It is obvious that two beautiful women walking alone at night in a poor

district, cannot pass without problems. When a thief gets her in the

neck and starts threaten her, She chose to start her wild talent

"trying to attract some help" in her words. Imagine her face when she

rolls a power score (look the power below). Her friend could run away

when everybody on street starts fighting for her. And this was not the

end, three guys could run out with her. They carry her to a poor house

and you can imagine what would happen.  Her luck was that her friend

could call the entirely party and they run to try to save her.

     The party's ranger uses his wild talent (animal affinity) to get

the olfactory abilities of a tigone, trying to improve his tracking

skills. (He doesn't know about her wild talent and the player didn't

realize what will happen.) Thus, he suffers the same effects of the

burglars but he was able to find her quickly. Then a furious half-

tigone jump over the three thieves before they could do any damage. And

again, this was not the end, when the party arrives she is still

maintaining her psionic power. I (the DM) try to minimize the problem

allowing everybody to roll a save against the power.  My remedy doesn't

help, because everybody fails the save (6 members). So, the party

members start to fight each other.

     The end was not less fun, the party's preserver cast hypnotic

pattern and again everybody fails the save, so, he get her, cast an

invisibility spell on her, and run back to the inn. At this time she

went out of PSP and the power stops but the preserver doesn't. They had

an affair (and, one week after, the players became boy and girlfriend).

In the next day she rolls and 8 on attitude and fall in love to him.

     Some days later, she lost her interest on him and starts looking

for another one, saying "Why couldn't I love two guys at the same time?

Or maybe three ..." (no problems with the players, they are going well

and she will not try this argument in real life). The affair stops

there, the preserver is lawful good and didn't like the idea. We really

enjoy the mess, nobody could stop laughing, but she is afraid of using

the power again.





                                General



Midwife: This encounter is with a solitary female, whose job it is to

deliver babies. The midwife will be returning from a delivery or going

to one (in which case she will be in a hurry).

     She will only react in a friendly manner if she is approached with

great caution. She will flee on an adjusted reaction score of 55 or

less, and on a score of 25 or less she seek the help of a patrol to

apprehend the offenders who "scared" her (whether they actually did or

not).

     There is a 20% chance that the midwife will possess useful

information, which she will freely divulge to party members if she is

befriended first. She will be offended by an offer to pay her for what

she knows.



Prostitute: NOTE that this encounter was taking from an old adventure

and contradicts other prostitute information that is found in this

guide.

     This encounter is a one or more women (can be men for women

adventurers).  The GM must decide the number relative to population,

law, underworld activity, etc..

     A prostitute will be somewhat annoying trying to convince her prey

that she is desirable. If she succeeds, her fee is usually between 20

and 100 SP.

     There is a 75% chance that a prostitute will possess valuable

information. Such information requires a fee of course. There is also a

25% chance that the prostitute has a disease (natural or magical).



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                     PORNO PERIODICALS OF HUMANOIDS





     Low-intelligent beings have an obsession with smut. They love to

purchase and look at pornographic periodicals. Player character's can

come across such periodicals in humanoid housing, a seedy magazine

stand, a gross conquered enemy, etc.. These periodicals need a name and

the following system gives a periodical a name:



1) Roll 2d10 on a Table 1 to get the race that created the periodical.

The writing (if any) in the periodical will be of the preferred

language of the race.



2) To get the name of the periodical:



     - Roll 1d30 on Table 2 to get an adjective. You may roll more than

       once if desired.

     - Roll 1d20 on Table 3 to get an noun.



   Thus, a roll of 4 and a roll of 14 would produce Jiggling Hooters.

But this isn't good enough for the old GM, so he rolls for another

adjective and gets a 25 Oily Jiggling Hooters. And the roll from step 1

reveals that Orcs created this periodical. Thus, we have Oily Jiggling

Hooters of Orcs.





TABLE 1: Humanoid Creators



Die                      Die

Roll  Humanoid           Roll  Humanoid

  2   Bugbear             12   Drow Elf

  3   Gully Dwarf         13   Ettin

  4   Gnoll               14   Goblin

  5   Hag                 15   Half-Orc

  6   Harpy               16   Human

  7   Hill Giant          17   Hobgoblin

  8   Kobold              18   Lizard Man

  9   Mongrelman          19   Orc

 10   Ogre                20   Troglodyte

 11   Were-Rat





TABLE 2: Adjectives



Die

Roll  Adjective          Roll  Adjective          Roll  Adjective

  1   Arousing            11   Big                 21   Delectable

  2   Erotic              12   Fleshly             22   Greasy

  3   Hard                13   Hefty               23   Hors d'oeuvre

  4   Jiggling            14   Juicy               24   Large

  5   Luscious            15   Moist               25   Oily

  6   Profuse             16   Savory              26   Scrumptious

  7   Sensual             17   Slimy               27   Sticky

  8   Stimulating         18   Succulent           28   Sumptuous

  9   Swollen             19   Tantalizing         29   Tender

 10   Titillating         20   Voluptuous          30   Warted





TABLE 3: Nouns



Roll  Noun               Roll  Noun

  1   Balls               11   Bolas

  2   Butts               12   Caves

  3   Clubs               13   Dungeons

  4   Holes               14   Hooters

  5   Jugs                15   Knockers

  6   Lingerie            16   Mounds

  7   Pits                17   Rods

  8   Staves              18   Strongholds

  9   Stuff               19   Swords

 10   Wands of Wonder     20   Wonkers





     A typical periodical may contain perverse artwork, Q&As, forum,

advice column, letters, or raunchy stories. They are not necessary

created on printing presses. They can be hand-written or drawn by

scribes or artists. The lower intelligent beings are so primitive they

usually have clumps of scrolls with their perversion on them. The key

for success with this system is for the GM to think. How intelligent

are the authors?  What resources do they possess? What is believable

and realistic? This isn't a detailed system, it is merely guidelines to

stimulate creative thought in the GM.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                             SEXIST QUOTES





     Unfortunately, many characters (usually make) find it necessarily

to say derogatory, sexist things to others. Below is presented a list

of these things. Most are geared toward woman but this is

unintentional.  When searching and asking for quotes from various

sources, that is what turned up. These quotes are not intended to

offend anybody. They are fun and entertainment.

     A percentile table is given if a GM wishes to get random quotes.





 TABLE A: Quotes



01-02  A drunk wench is fair game.

03-04  Aghast that's not a girl its a harpy.

05-06  Ah! A magical dildo.

07-08  'Ello, you don't know me, but I've been watchin' you.

09-10  Gruel oozes from her twat.

11-12  Her words say "No", my dagger says "Yes".

13-14  Her hole is bigger than the astral plane.

15-16  His lance is bigger than mine.

17-18  Honestly constable, her tunic was open.

19-20  I bought her venison, she owes me.

21-22  I'd like to put my sword in her scabbard.

23-24  I love the salty taste of the mermaid twat.

25-26  I said use your hand, not your hand axe.

27-28  I'll slay your dragon for ya.

29-30  I'll try anything once; twice if it hurts.

31-32  I'm going to crank on the wench.

33-34  It must be nice to have magical protection.

35-36  Lets do it like the fairy folk.

37-38  Loot the village...Ravage the women...Burn the crops...

39-40  Now I know why its called a bonesnapper.

41-42  She likes to do it gorgon-style.

43-44  She was asking for it dressed in that alluring plate mail.

45-46  The horse needs rest, lets move into the dark woods.

47-48  The mermaid smells like fish.

49-50  The women, how much for the women?

51-52  There's one of her, and five of us. Heh, Heh, Heh!

53-54  Trust me babe.

55-56  Two bits for your woman, five bits for your horse.

57-58  Where does the mermaid hide her vagina?

59-60  Why do child-bearers carry weapons?

61-62  Wonder bitch there? She's just a blond and brainless slut!

63-00 REROLL



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                                TIDBITS





THE BOBITT MANEUVER



     The Bobitt Maneuver requires a character who gets a minimum of two

attacks every other round. First, the character must make a called shot

(-4 penalty) with a sharp weapon to remove pants (robe, tunic, etc.).

On the second attack of the round, the character must make a called

shot (-6 penalty do to difficulty) to slice the penis off.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                             AN ABYSS LEVEL





     The smells of incense, perfume, and oily naked body's are thick in

the air as you enter this Abyssal layer. The layer itself encompasses a

massive palace that stretches far and wide, beyond the imagination.

This layer, is the home of the unholy Queen of all Succubi and Incubi,

Silviana. Being the demon princess of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy this layer

is filled with countless thousands upon thousands of succubi and incubi

engrossed with every conceivable sexual act. The halls of this palace

are all lined with beautiful slaves whose bodies have been painted

gold, and their sexual organs made to be on display for all to see as

the slaves are forced to stand in erotic positions, living statues for

their demon princess. This plane gives new meaning to the idea of

torturous pleasure, as the lust and desires of any slave or demon upon

this plane will rarely, if ever, go satisfied for any significant

period of time. Demons and monstrosities populate this plane by the

thousands, but each one is always deceptively beautiful, their purpose

being to seduce all intruders and slaves into their service. The

pheromones that permeate this layer are such that any mortal who enters

must make a save verses poison each hour at -3, or their lustful desire

will become so strong that they will stop what they are doing and race

to join the nearest orgy within the layer (since they are so many going

on all the time, one shouldn't be far). Characters with a high wisdom

or willpower will get certain bonuses against the save, at the GM's

discretion.

     It is rumored that demons and daemons from all over frequent this

layer constantly when they have a chance to pursue personal pleasures.







Silviana

Demon Prince(ess) of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy

Queen of Succubi and Incubi

Lesser God(dess)



Movement: 12"

AC: -5

Hits to Kill: 69 (16 die)

To Hit: 5

Number of Attacks: 1

Damage per attack: special

Special Attacks : see below

Special Defences: see below

Magic Resistance: 50%

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Symbol: figurines of men and women in erotic positions

Plane: the Abyss (the Layer of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy)

Psionics: nil

Experience: (use normal charts of system to calculate)

Str: 18  Dex: 20  Con: 23  Int: 21  Wis: 16  Cha: 25 Com: 30



     The Queen of this layer herself will always appear in a form that

can spark the most wanton abandon of lust and sexual desire possible in

her victims minds. However her true form is slightly different. Being

the fact that she represents all spheres of immoral sexual desire, the

Queen is, in her true form, a bisexual hermaphrodite. She is really

neither female or male, but both, however because from the known

accounts by sages and wizards who have some knowledge of Silviana, she

is referred to as a female because she has appeared as one more often

than a male by most tales. Even in her true form her aura of lust and

sex is enough to cause any man or woman to have hard problems

controlling their sexual desire for Silviana.

     Silviana is the queen of all Succubi and Incubi, and her home

plane is a palace filled with them, all constantly in the acts of

immortal sex. When confronting victims or intruders, Silviana always

takes on the guise of an extremely beautiful woman (or man) that brings

out the most possible desire in her victims. Her true form is no less

beautiful. Being a hermaphrodite, Silviana has soft creamy skin, long

golden hair, and sky blue eyes. Silviana's body is a perfect meld of

male and female quality's, almost to the point where, except for the

very desirably sized and shaped sex organs, one might be mistaken that

Silviana is simply a masculine looking female. When confronting a

victim, Silviana will switch to either, only her female characteristics

or her male characteristics. Anyone who gazes upon Silviana when in

either form, must make an automatic save verses petrifaction (at -3, -6

if on the home plane of the demon) or be overcome by such a massive

amount of sexual desire that they will drop all they are doing and

immediately prostrate themselves naked before her/him. Note: if a

character in the party has expressed they do not have a sexual desire

for Silviana's present choice of form (stated at the time of the save,

GM's keep record of what they say) they must  (still make a normal

save, no minus). Silviana's sexual pheromones are so powerful that they

can alter the personality and characteristics of a character to desire

to engage in sex that would otherwise be not normal for them!

Appropriate bonus's (up to the GM) can be awarded to characters who

have expressed characteristics that might be helpful in combating

Silviana's charm.

     When Silviana physically attacks (she rely's more on her charm

than actually having to attack someone) she will attempt to strike

someone, anyone so struck will be drained of one level (including all

hit points gained for that level, spells, etc.). If Silviana has

charmed someone and decides to attack them, she will kiss them. Her

kiss, being exceptionally deadly, will drain 3 levels from a victim.

Anyone who is completely drained by Silviana is doomed to serve as a

pleasure slave for her, for all eternity.

     Silviana can summon 2-8 Succubi (Incubi) at will, or 1-4 of any

other type of demon. As for her relations with other demon lords and

princes, they remain neutral in all situations being the fact that all

the other lords like spending their vacations on her plane...



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                           ADVENTURING IDEAS





                             The Love Boat



     The player characters book passage on a magic-flying luxury cruise

ship nicknamed "The Love Boat" for a relaxing time in the clouds. On

the ship, the PCs encounter the crew: Captain Stubing, "Gopher", "Doc",

Isiac, Julie McCoy. Also, they encounter loads of interesting people

and plenty of opportunities to use the rules and stuff that are

presented in the guide.



                          Dog Man Needs A Date



     An uncharismatic man hires the PCs to help him attain the

affection of a lovely maiden. This allows great opportunity for role-

playing, which includes buying new clothes for him, teaching him how to

act, etc.. Problems could arise if the maiden falls in love with one of

the PCs. Also, the maiden could have a large fighter boyfriend who

could be really angry.



                                 Twins



     A PC seduces a very beautiful nice willing person. The following

day, the PC meets the twin who is mean, bad, and boring. This could

lead to nice effects.



                            Paternity Suite



     After returning with the spoils of a great adventure, a male

character is confronted with a paternity suit from a fair lass who he

was promiscuous with only a few months ago.



                          Vampire & Seduction



     The party is on some sort of extended vacation, staying in an

inn/bar. A frequent visitor is a tall, dark, suave, charming man

dressed in formal evening wear, accompanied by a different woman every

time. He comes in every 2nd or 3rd night. He always orders bloody marys

and doesn't drink them. He is quite wealthy and very pleasant. There is

something almost magnetic about him. He has fascinating eyes. (GM

should do everything he can to make it believable that he could be a

vampire, despite the unusual setting (city).

     Either he charms (seduction) a female party member and takes her

away, or a beautiful dancer comes in looking for her missing sister,

who was last seen coming to this bar with the tall dark gentleman. She

tries to convince a party member to help her look for her sister being

seductive about it. Both are eventually charmed by the Gentleman. In

any case, make a party member disappear into this Gentleman's lair.

     He has a gothic style house in a nice part of town.  There is

nothing obviously amiss here. If the party asks around, this guy is a

pillar of society, a kind, philanthropic fellow, well respected by his

peers. He runs a magic shoppe. He is a mid-level wizard with a head for

business, who gave up adventuring to start a business.

     His house looks just like a vampires house might look (black

velvet curtains, etc).  He has a private sanctuary inn his basement,

the only entrance to which is a rune-encrusted door (trapped or

enchanted in any way appropriate to the party).  He supposedly has a

chapel down there, but really has a large complex, where various

vampiric rituals, and all-night parties take place. All of the missing

people have been charmed into believing that they have been turned into

slave vampires. They will aid their master if at all possible.

     The party must break in and forcibly take their companion away

from this place. Again, make the evidence somewhat contradictory

whether the Gentleman is a vampire or not. Most evidence should say

yes, but make some things contradict this.

     The gentleman has a cursed ring of the vampire, a powerful evil

artifact which makes him believe he is a vampire and gives him many of

the powers of a vampire, as well as some of the drawbacks.  Make him

dislike things that cause a vampire harm, but don't make it obvious

whether is works. Make him have a reflection, but have a dead vampire

victim show up, etc.. At the end, have the party realize that he is not

a vampire at all but rather is a cursed fellow with an intrinsically

good nature.







                ESSAY: WHAT IF A CHARACTER RAPES A NPC?





     This essay was derived from a conversation of the topic on a

Internet RPG discussion. The thoughts written here are not necessarily

those of any one person. Many points of view went into this essay.



     In reality, rape usually involves great physical injury, but rape

is much more than the infliction of physical pain. Rape affects the

victim psychologically and spiritually as well something a mere cut (no

matter how big) does not have.

     Is rape nothing more than a different form combat? When one person

rapes another, what the rapist is doing is degrading the victim. Even

foes that hate each other have at least a grudging respect for each

other. If they lose that respect, they run the risk of being killed

because they have underestimated their opponent. Rape shows a total

lack of respect and decency. Rape is a one way thing that combat is

not.

     From a Christian perspective, people were made by God to relate to

each other with love; it's easy to see that rape is one of the greatest

violations of this design specification, considering that sex is, in

its natural state, one of the most intimate ways that two people can

relate to each other and express their love for one another.

     In RPGs, the physical side of things can be changed with the use

of spells, potions, etc.; but not the mental and spiritual side. Even

if a female character (whether PC or NPC) were to have her virginity

restored do to magic, there is no way one could consider her to be a

virgin any more. Because virginity is not only physical state but a

mental and spiritual one as well. Technically, a male doesn't change

physically after having sex as a woman does. Once that innocence and

purity has been lost, it cannot be regained. That is why it is so

valuable.

     In most modern fantasy literature, rape exists but only as a major

plot device. However, In ancient fantasy literature, and in historical

fact, the situation is more complex. The Greek gods had not-entirely-

consensual sex with mortal women quite often, but they usually employed

deception rather than brute force; and the result was usually a child

with strange powers, rather than a revolt against the god. Until

recently, a man who had non-consensual sex with his wife or his female

slave would not have been considered a rapist. Victorious armies would

"rape and pillage" as the normal behavior for conquering. So if the GM

basing his campaign with historical accuracy, than rape as a plot

device might be accepted.

     When rape does appear in an RPG, it is most likely because the GM

and/or players are immature. Sure some players like to introduce sex

into their campaign, usually humorously. Albeit a lot of people who use

sex in RPGs are immature and acting out juvenile fantasies, some

players can handle the use of sex in RPGs constructively. However, rape

is not humorous nor constructive. Immature players are often treating

the topic to casually. Mature players are more familiar with rape and

think about it before taking it lightly. The topic should be given some

form of respect.

     Having rape in an RPG might be a good plot device if used by the

mature GM in an adventure. The real trouble of rape in a RPG arises

when a character wishes to indulge in such a horrible act.

     Rape is not the way to solve a problem, even if it is only a game.

There are always other options, instead of implementing one that

definitely isn't funny, and could also disturb the players. Taking this

course of action, no matter how chaotic a campaign, is probably not a

good idea and the GM might wish to take serious action on the character

that performs such an act.

     Remember, a player would never think of having a character perform

an act of rape on an NPC if the NPC was male. A male NPC would just be

beat-up quite easily and rape wouldn't be considered. So why is it that

somebody will suggest such a course of action if the NPC is a female?

Well because it can be done is not a good enough reason; nor because it

will shut her up is a reason.

     Many gamers play RPG's to escape from the horrors of the real

world. Role-playing games are suppose to be fun but abominations like

rape ruin the fun. There is little reason to bring that sort of graphic

violence into the game; especially from a player-character. Most game

sessions are played with enough problem solving that they can be

enjoyed perfectly well without the wrong-type of violence.

     Also, using such violence in the game sounds as if such a hideous

act as rape is being condoned. Without judging the player, the player's

reasons for such "role-playing" could be dealt with outside the game

session so as not to cause to much trouble.

     Remember, rape is a very disturbing, terrifying subject for women.

Having such a thing in a RPG, even though it is a game, might keep

women from playing the game. Women provide a very wonderful and unique

outlook in RPGs and they would be missed.

     As a general rule, dragons and swords are not an expected means of

death in the real world. Nor does anybody anticipate ever meeting

Cthulhu or Tiamat. Death is something that can happen to anyone at any

time realistically as well as in the realm of RPGs. But rape is an act

of cruelty and unmitigated evil which is also a violation of not only

the body but of the mind. It also has a deeply personal affect the real

world in that it is a danger that all must face, if not for ourselves,

then for our wives, sisters, daughters, and other family and friends. A

very real danger that makes most people feel uncomfortable to discuss.

     The bottom line is that RPGs are supposed to be fun for everyone

playing. For a lot of people, it puts them in a medieval setting where

they can be what they want and do what they want. It lets them escape

reality for a little while and leave problems behind. How realistic

does an RPG need to be? Does it have to mimic the real-world so

closely? Don't bring in one of woman's greatest fears into the game.

It isn't necessary.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





            ESSAY: HAS ANYONE PLAYED A HOMOSEXUAL CHARACTER?





     This essay was derived from a conversation of the topic on a

Internet RPG discussion list. The thoughts written here are not

necessarily those of any one person. Many points of view went into this

essay. Also, the validity of statements made is not known.





                    "I've never played one, but..."



    "We're not gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay."





     The "Army of Lovers" (i.e. exclusively homosexual company of

soldiers) was something out of the ancient Greek city-states. There was

only one city-state, Thebes, where being gay was a "requirement" if you

wished to become a soldier. This was not a strict requirement, but was

considered highly advantageous. It was reported to be (by writers in

other city states) to be one of the most effective armies at the time.

The unit was called the Thebian Sacred Band, and they served under

Alexander. They worked in buddy teams: a spear-men and a shield man.

They were renown for their extreme closeness, fierceness, and

efficiency in battle (esp. if their lover was killed!)

     Note, that in Sparta, all male children were raised up by the

state, trained to be soldiers, the menial work was left to the

"helotas" (slaves). They had male companionship for most of the time,

so that is why their sexual interests were different. In Sparta,

homosexuality was accepted, but not like it was in Thebes. Spartans had

more of a Roman respect for women.

     That's not to say that romantic involvement, or even long-term

relationships weren't common between soldiers in the other city-states.

It had a lot to do with the inequality of women, and their place, in

ancient Greek society. In ancient Greece, women were considered

inferior to men. Not quite (but almost) property. Certainly not

something a person would want to spend lots of quality time with. The

most common opinion of women was that they were good for one thing -

having babies. If a man had to have sex for that, well, that's one of

the things a dutiful husband did. But if you wanted a relationship,

passionate sex, someone you could talk with afterwards, men were where

it was at (although this is a bit exaggerated).

     It was common practice in upper-crust Athenian society for young

boys to be "taken in" by an older gentleman, who would become the

youth's mentor and also lover. This was considered a healthy

upbringing.

      From what remained of the Greek literature, it is obvious that

women were more often that subject of male sexual desire, than men.

After all, it was a women (Helena) the Spartans fought for a couple of

decades with the Trojans, according to Homeros. Odusseus and his

soldiers were tempted several times by females, on his journey to home,

and it was a female (his wife) he wanted to return so badly, and this

female was courted by many - noble - males, and he got so mad when he

saw this that he wiped out all those males because of one female.

     Now, in Rome things were not quite the same. The Romans held a

similar low opinion of women. Not quite as low, but it was down there.

Women were considered eminently suitable for sex. Discussion,

companionship, camaraderie, were all still male-oriented, but women

were considered capable of satisfying the purely physical needs. That's

not to say that there was anything wrong with having sex with a man. As

long as you were on top. Screwing a guy was manly; being screwed was

effeminate, shameful. Caesar came under fire several times, not because

of his numerous affairs with men, but because he liked to be on the

bottom. However, although it is true that women had their strict rule

in the society, they were not supposed to mingle in politics, and so

on. But those that read "Antigone" from Sophokles will see that they

were not thought of as domestic animals. Or even worse, women were

considered property to be used for the reason of reproduction and

personal gain for a family.

     Most Romans were very touchy on the issue of homosexuality. If one

wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright as long as one were a closet

homosexual. If one were open, one could pretty much kiss any chance of

a political life good bye! Nero was the Emperor, and could crush his

enemies. If he wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright cause he had

power. Romans believed that men should have women, and the women should

be subservient to men. If one wanted to have another man, go ahead,

just don't tell anyone!

     It wasn't brought up in Glory of Rome, but actually Julius

Caesar's Tenth Legion had a slight reputation for being Caesar's

"favorite" legion.

     Both societies were very male oriented, which is why there is

little writing about lesbians at the time (though it was there).

     In a typical European setting, homosexuality would certainly be

frowned upon. This does not, of course, mean that there aren't any

homosexuals running around - just that they are secretive, repressed,

etc..

      One can't deny that homosexuality was widespread before the

advent of Christianity, but it was considered as an alternative only,

not the necessarily the way. In any case, there is no need to make an

issue with homosexuality in a campaign, but having various sexual

orientations can really make for interesting adventures.

     For example, a nobleman's gay lover vanishes or is captured -

perhaps to be used against him. So he hires a group of discreet

adventures to deal with the situation.

      In the Thieves' World books, there are a group of mercenaries

known as "Sacred Banders". They appear to be male couples who are

excellent fighting teams (it is assumed that they shared the same

tents, and did certain things... but they didn't go into it). They are

supposedly based on some historical Athenian units, or some such thing.

     On one campaign world, which has evolved to cover many continents

and cultures, there is a whole spectrum of sexual attitudes. In some

cultures, homosexuality is not frowned upon, and is indeed considered

to be normal. There is even an island based upon an Aztec legend where

there are only women. They are ruled by priestesses who is divinely

enabled to brew a potion which will impregnate a woman.

     One adventuring party spent a long time travelling with a pirate

named Dalin and first mate, Shandar. The two guys were clearly best

friends who had been adventuring together for many years. The party was

always impressed with how close they were. The group never even

suspected the truth.

     And now a small exert about a strange character:



     "Hendrix is an old, ugly, gnome illusionist. He is lawful

evil, and his goal is to have sex with as many different people/things

as possible. He wants them willing and alive, but he'll take them by

force if necessary. He's also fond of guile.

     He has a ring of polymorph self and a couple of other trinkets

he's acquired along the way. Whenever he starts a new adventure he

joins the adventuring party in disguise. Most of the disguises are

helped out by his trinkets, but some of them aren't even plausible.

Yet, somehow they keep getting accepted, though. Some examples are

Dorien Wolfride a female halfling ranger, Noli of Clan Ironfoots male

dwarf wizard (he can't cast spells but fakes it), Honeysuckle

Rapevictimson a male half-orc paladin.

     Hendrix is actually doing quite well in his mission.

Unfortunately, the other adventurers are rabid heterosexuals, so

Hendrix has only attempted hetero seduction. He can't wait to see their

faces when he's found out."



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                    PLOTS FOR HOMOSEXUAL CHARACTERS





The Gay Man and the Jealous Wife



     Have some important married person (maybe nobility) fall in love

with one of the characters. This should be a "from afar" affection

originally. Then when the man's wife finds out about it, she could do a

couple things. First, try to have the character killed off, so she can

keep her husband. Or, she could try to frame the character as being a

succubus (or similar) in disguise. Using the theory that her husband

COULDN'T be gay, since he married her, hence the character must be

using magic or something. Either way, when the wife first begins this

stuff, the character should be unaware of the man's feelings, and be

tasked with finding out what the lady has against him (the whole party

could be affected too).

        A variant of this could be a gay couple, where one falls for

the character and the other wants the PC dead.





Saying No



    A very beautiful women begins making appearances (could be an

adventurer) when the party is in town. Initially, she's just friendly

towards the party, then little by little it becomes apparent that she's

interested in the homosexual. One option, the party must tell her and

convince her she's got no chance with him. The character could tell

her, and who knows how she'll react when she finds out. Probably,

initial rage or disgust, but up to this point, the party should have

been getting the impression that she's really a very

nice/important/heroic person.

     This could lead to further role-playing encounters as the party

tries to keep her as a friend.





Land of Fairies, Literally



    The party enters a foreign city where homosexual is the norm. The

entire party is viewed with disgust (except the gay character, and he

is looked down upon for befriending the "straights", said with disgust

by all NPCs in the town).

     A chance for excellent role-playing encounters for all concerned.





Reverse Rape



     The character could be raped by some powerful/important woman.

Perhaps a magic-user, who could have some nasty original spells,

specifically for torturing the guy. Then it becomes the party's "test

of friendship to hunt the offender down and kill her. One would hope

they would do no different if it was a female character who was raped

by a man.





Evil of Homosexuality



     Have the party enter a city/dominion/area where homosexuality is

suddenly being persecuted to the extreme (a la Spanish Inquisition).

The local ruler has outlawed it, the church too, all the major powers

have decide that it is the root of all evil and the reason their

city/dominion is undergoing economic hardship (which is just an excuse

to cover the results of their own corruption). Homosexuals are being

burned at the stake etc...

     The homosexual party member might well feel the need to combat

this persecution, and if powerful enough, be the champion of local

homosexuals. If he/she is stupid enough to confront the ruling elite, a

great chase scene can be had, but the party should escape. Now the

possibilities for a lengthy campaign where the homosexual character

(With or without the aid of the rest of the characters) can form a

underground resistance movement. If the character isn't that willing to

help out, an old lover can run into him/her on the street and threaten

to expose them if they don't help (another way would be to have the

character watch as an old lover is burnt at the stake, and character

should be resolved to help at that sight).

     So, the party gets embroiled in all kinds of planning, raids,

rescues, waging the battle for the hearts and minds of the public,

maybe even an assassination or three if that's how you're players are.

Meanwhile they are pursued an harassed with increasing strength until

the climax.  Perhaps one of the city/dominion leaders is a really a

homosexual, and the party convinces them to confess in front of the

people, who knows?



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                           A FEW GOOD STORIES





One funny occurrence ---



     One of the clerics in my party went to an inn that also provided

companionship for the night, either preference. When he got his

bedmate, he and she had a little fun. (the encounter lasted 10 minutes

game time, heh,heh). Afterward, they did it again, and this time it

lasted 1 hr. 15 min., with him fainting at the end.  When he woke up,

he found himself in a cell, and the woman nowhere to be seen.

     It turns out that a woman named the White Lich had been taking out

potential enemies throughout the kingdom (she is a LICH). It also

turned out that it wasn't "white" lich, but "wight" lich.

     Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a wight

lich!!!



                                                  --- Larry



Learning about true love ---



     Mowahpehnoksie (Mo), Plainsman warrior (my character) was on a

quest (solo) for a lost plainsman treasure.  The first part of the

quest was the creation of a sacred bundle, the tribal shaman told Mo

that he had to acquire a lock of hair from his one true love as an

ingredient in the sacred bundle. As it turned out Mo had a "one true

love" in the person of Vasquez, an elven privateer/warrior of

extraordinary beauty and sword skill. Mo had been chasing Vasquez for a

long time, all to no avail. She kept telling him that she would marry

him when he could beat her in a duel. No one had ever beaten her in a

duel. Anyhow, Mo sets off for the city where Vasquez was docked. First

he checks at the Bloody Blade, a tavern partially owned by Vasquez, the

bartender says she is down on the docks talking to her crew (of

cutthroats). Mo goes to the docks, the first mate says that she just

left and said she would be back in a few days. A disappointed Mo goes

back to the tavern to leave a message, but the bartender tells him that

Vasquez just came in and went up to her rooms. Mo goes up there and

gets invited in. Vasquez is wearing a robe, and has a full bath of

water drawn, she dumps Mo into the water, one thing leads to another...

     When Mo wakes up, Vasquez is standing by the window, she turns

says "Tyche sends her regards" changes into her true form, a succubus

and teleports away. Tyche was an old enemy of the adventurers that had

heard about Mo's quest, and wanted to set him up. Mo eventually found

Vasquez at her father's castle where he had to explain what had

happened, and see if she would still give him her hair (she did, taking

pity on the fool). To make a long story short, Mo passed through many

more trials, and succeeded in the quest. The succubus in the scenario

had been careful to control her draining abilities while with Mo,

because the real reason for all the subterfuge was delivered to Mo

roughly nine months later, a bouncing baby alu-demon. What is the moral

of this story? Don't have pre-marital sex? No, then what? Shapechanging

creatures can make for very interesting bed partners.

     NOTE: Mo and Vasquez were eventually married, and are raising

their alu-demon daughter as best they can. Vasquez has more or less

forgiven Mo for the whole thing, and even helped rescue the kid when

she was kidnapped. They are in semi retirement until Soah is old enough

to take care of herself. They are very happy to have weaned her off of

eating raw meat.



                                                  --- John Daniel



Prostitutes are nasty ---



     Our group of four entered a real sleazy town, it was basically a

pirates' cove town where pirates, thugs, and assorted baddies resided

when they weren't attacking, raping, and pillaging the neighborhood.

The group of us (myself a monk, a fighter, cleric, and mage) were

searching for the whereabouts of a lady kidnapped from a prominent

merchant from our hometown whom we owed favors too for past help. The

trail at this point led to this town where he (the supposed ring

leader of the kidnappers) had been known to frequent. Of course, none

of the "regulars" there wanted anything to do with a bunch of strangers

coming in and we were getting nowhere. Of course, my character wanted

nothing to do with this place and considered the whole area to be

respite with creeps. Our fighter though was a big burlesque guy and

found the prostitution there to be a wonderful, wonderful place. Our

cleric (who being female had a rough time with the people of the area)

basically stuck by my side and the two of us spent more time searching

for the damn fighter than getting information on the kidnapping. Of

course, he struck it rich with a talkative hooker and found that the

person we were looking for was holdup in the harbor on a boat.

     Eventually we snuck down there, boarded and captured the criminal,

rescued the lady, then had to battle our way back out. Altogether, we

were hounded by:

     a) the criminal's pals

     b) some other rouges who were smitten by our lovely cleric and

        wanted her for their own

     c) two separate prostitutes who say they are carrying our fighters

        child (They can't both be, can they? It must be a scam, at

        least HE says so...)

     d) the "ladies'" pals and family who both insist on marriage or

        financial reimbursements for what he did to these poor ladies





     Well, we made it out fine. Returned to our hometown where we're

sort of hero's now, but in danger whenever we leave. Ahhh... what a

life adventurers leave.

     THE MORALE: Don't let a fighter run rampant in a sleazy town

filled with lots of lovely prostitutes.



                                                  --- Toa the monk



A cleric's penance ---



     Although our group engaged in sexual encounters (old favorites

like the innkeeper's daughter, the farmer's wife, etc.), it usually

had severe consequences. After the treatment of one character, a

cleric, the group stayed clear of these opportunities.

     This character, a cleric, was seduced by a bar wench during one of

our stops. Although the sex was supposedly great, soon after the cleric

began to notice a tingling sensation in his groin. Sure enough, his

deity had struck him with a venereal disease, and no spell could take

it off! The condition became more debilitating until finally, after

intense prayer, his god forgave him as long as a certain penance was

followed. This involved the usual series of prayers, and one extra

condition: on the ground there magically appeared a bag of holding

(usable only for the purpose it was intended), and inside was a large

supply of BURLAP UNDERWEAR! There was enough for the cleric to change

three times daily, which, of course, he was required to do! We all

steered clear of barmaids after that!



                                                  --- Mario R. Borelli



A Barbarian's Boo-Boo ---



     Our adventuring group was exploring a keep of some type looking

for the main baddie who was female. When we found her bedroom, she

wasn't there. Of course, we began looking through it when one of the

male barbarian PC's (played by a female) accidently spilled some

perfume on himself which had strange properties. The Barbarian and the

elven female mage (played by a male) had a certain sudden

uncontrollable urge to make use of the nearby bed (that lasted for

about 2 hours game time not real time). By this time everyone was

laughing hysterically because their characters were standing outside

the open door and were watching the entertainment. Now after everyone

stopped laughing (and who wouldn't

with a low level barbarian and a mid-level mage going at it) the GM had

asked questions and rolled his dice and wouldn't ya just know that the

mage got pregnant (snicker).

     What made the whole thing so interesting was mainly the fact that

the characters are both opposite gender from their players (and the

mage doesn't really know she's pregnant yet).

     The GM used The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge to

make the whole tower and adventure. The GM kept flippin' through and

referring to the guide.



                                                  --- Xandar



Precise Constitution Points ---



     I'd like to tell you about my character (at least, the one for

whom this guide is good, since I'm playing at least two characters at

any given moment, but that's another story). He is an Elf fighter/bard

that due to becoming undead and being resurrected lost 1 Constitution

point from his original 11. He asked to return to life (you won't

believe it) because he fell in love with a Druid. Due to his chaotic

nature, he did some nasty things later (like tempting the police-chief

for a gain of about 300 gold pieces...) and had a lover-fight with the

druid, but as he apologized to her and did everything he could to

please her - they are back together again, and then what? Just as we

leave the city, towards the castle that contains a sword and a horse

dedicated for the paladin in out party by his god, we meet three(!)

meduses!!!! And guess who's becoming a stone on the spot? Yes, me!!!

(The other me is a holly-ghost, an undead lawful-good priest of the God

of the Sun (I know it sounds crazy) and he is protected by him, so he

only got paralyzed in another meduse attack). However, one of my best

friends, a vampire magic user (would you please repeat THAT???!!!)

succeeded in using him vampiric abilities and use a higher level

vampire mage to cast stone-to-flesh on me. He did that three times,

'cause I failed the system shock twice... So, and here we get to our

point, I'm left with a Constitution of 7!!! (I still have a Dexterity

of 19 and Strength of 17, but I LOVE having sex!!!) ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Since my GM makes me, as a bard, write and sing REAL songs for my

spells (I need no spell-books or material components - just a suitable

song), I am announcing my next spell-song, which I hope to complete by

next session: Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On!

     Lately, the Fellowship has found itself at Salba-the Layer of

Momentary Pleasure (this is a part of the Layered World, an anomaly

located in the Mirn-Kaia Universe, where sex is a requirement for all

visitors, and the local monetary unit is one Orgasm (four Orgasms =

Multiple Orgasm). The local dominant race, the Salbars, can (and do)

grasp momentary sexual pleasure as a physical object in the fabric of

Time (in Mirn-Kaia metaphysical terms, Salba is related to the Sphere

of Time in a passive way). The job of the second species of Salba, the

Timplags, and of all visitors, is to provide sexual divertissement and

new experience to the Salbars. As can be imagined, this did give a rise

to a lot of really good role-playing. And the bard Luwain, remaining

faithful to himself, has sneaked away from the party and remained in

Salba, in the bed of no less than Salibu, the Mistress of the Layer.



                                                  --- Luwain



A Cleric's Vow ---



     I've been in a party with a very complex character. He was a

powerful cleric, who had entered clerichood as a sort of escape from

his sexuality. He took a vow of chastity of his own accord (his deity

certainly didn't care so long as he was a good, faithful cleric).

     Once, he was put into no win/no win situation. The only person who

could help him was a evil female mage who found him, and his resistance

to her many charm, very appealing. Needless to say, the cleric, in

order to achieve the good and righteous end, offered himself up.

     He stills plays in my world, and now has the terrible guilt (which

I use to my advantage) about his poor, illegitimate child, who being

raised by an evil mother, may come back to haunt old dad some day.  He

is actually an excellent character and is very clever when around those

hearty fighters going out on the town.... you know the type. From a

GMing perspective, I'd have to say, there's not much difference... it's

all in how good a roleplayer they are!



                                                  --- Bertnof



Cassandra Gets A Friend ---





    I now play a psionicist named Cassandra Wissenkunstler, raised from

infancy as an orphan by a group of priestesses at a monastery devoted

to Areya, goddess of Time and Prophecy. I put in her character

background that this had caused her to be celibate so that none of the

other players' characters (all male) would stand a chance of scoring

with her, but last gaming session - well... I guess I'd better let her

tell you.

     Cassandra, a slim girl (5'5", 113# only 17), steps forward,

seeming a little nervous. "I feel easier talking to a group of

strangers about this, for I know not what my companions or my

priestesses would say, and I fear what my goddess might do were she to

discover what has happened.

     "Two months ago, while taking a midday meal at the Blue Boar, a

most interesting incident occurred. My server was Camillia, a most

attractive girl [17 Comeliness], and while refilling my mug of ale, she

chanced to spill some in my lap. She apologized profusely, and quickly

began drying my robes with her cleaning rags. Her light touch, as she

rubbed the cloth on my inner thighs, sparked a desire in me I have

never known before; and when our eyes met I saw the same hunger in her.

'I would do anything to make it up to you,' Camillia whispered. I told

her I would like her to make it up that night, and she suggested the

residence of Lady Rebecca, where she lived.

    "In the arms of Camillia and Lady Rebecca I learned what true

pleasure is, and was taught how fingers, lips, and tongue might repay

the pleasures I was given." She blushes and falls silent.

    Well, since Cassandra can't finish, I'll do it for her. Suffice it

to say that the rest of the guys in the gaming group were jealous as

hell, but since everyone was on "solo" adventures for the night, none

of the other characters found out about it for two full months of game

time.

     During that interval, Lady Rebecca began calling Cassandra

"Clarissa," and my character learned from Camillia that this was

actually Rebecca's daughter, whom the lady had hacked to pieces and

buried under the cellar when she tried to flee her lesbian mother.

Camillia had stayed on out of a combination of fear and love for the

older woman, and due to Lady Rebecca's strong personality (save vs.

charm with a +4 bonus). I also learned that Rebecca was something of a

dominatrix, who routinely bound both Camillia and Cassandra in order to

playfully whip them and "tease" them with leather-wrapped wooden, shall

we say, "implements."

     Finally we (the gaming group) were getting together to leave town

on an adventure, except that Lady Rebecca didn't want her precious

"new" Clarissa to leave her. I went ectoplasmic in the middle of the

night (scared poor Camillia nearly to death) and got out, only to find

the thief of the party coming to check up on me. I quickly covered

myself by saying that I had been held captive by Rebecca (sure, with

the ability to escape ectoplasmically?) and telling him of the

implements of torture and the body under the house.

     The thief and one of our fighters returned the next night in order

to steal a couple of whips and "implements" as evidence against her,

which my character then took to the guards, claiming to have escaped

with them. When I told the guards of the body, they marched to the

house, dug up the skeleton, and summarily executed Lady Rebecca for the

crime of murder. Camillia was freed, for they determined that she had

been virtually "enslaved" upon fear of her life, and possession of the

house reverted to her.

     Now she and my character are living there together (except when

the group is adventuring), and the other characters in our group are

trying hard to help me cope with the awful ordeal of extended captivity

and rape I've had to endure (men, they'll believe anything a woman

tells them while shaking with terror and crying big crocodile tears).





                                                  --- Kenneth Nuckols







David Kelman for his spell Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes.



Sven De Kerpel for his comments and additions on the prostitute section

of the guide which resulted in seven major chances to the tables to

make them more realistic and playable.



Steve Langton for the "Prostitutes are nasty" story in the story

section.



Tim Larson for inspiring the Skilled Perversion NWP.



Lonadar the Wanderer bringing up the race question, commenting on a lot

of the spells, adding the feather to the components of Leomund's Ting

Brothel.



Luwain "Don't Fuck With Me" The Nightingale of The Fellowship of the

Flying Paladin for the Precise Constitution Points story.  He created

the A Bard's Sexual Spell-Songs section and contributed "Luwain's Ever

Lasting Hard-On" to it.



Andrew Lohmann for his Induce Pleasure Psionic Power.



Mark Manning for his Teeney-Weeny-Bikini magic item.



John M. Martz for his criticisms on the pregnancy rules and his

clerical spells: Baltasar's Impediment, Fertility.



Mizar, the Brilliant for assinting in the creation of the section

"The Baby is Here! What Ya' Got?"



Nige for his Sexual Phobia insanity.



Hugo M. Nijhof who made a list of spells from which I took and modified

the spells Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss and Vampiric Kiss.



Kenneth Nuckols for his "Cassandra Gets A Friend" story in the story

section.



The Anti-Paladin, Nomed the Accursed for his abyss level in the section

An Abyss Level.



Nosferatu for The Rack Critical Hit Chart: For Men Only.



Mike Parasich for the spells Cure Soreness, Enchant Condom, Delay

Orgasm, Deep Throat, Power Word: Disrobe; all of which were mentioned.



The Phantom for the Alternative Sexist Height & Weight rule in the baby

section.



Arron Sher, compiler of The NET.PLOTS.BOOK from which the vampire

adventuring idea came from.



Sir Gregor creator of The Bobitt Maneuver.



Scott Spetalnik for seeing that a bell curve wasn't used with the

ability scores.



Matt Sullivan for his humble comments and recommendations that inspired

a few modifications to the rules. For the first draft of "Seduction:

More Than Reaction Roles" section, which was very creative.



Eredae Swiftblade for the alternate conception system "Conception:

System II".



Tony for the in the Homosexual Plots section: Evil of Homosexuality.



Train, GM for the following ideas in the Homosexual Plots section: The

Gay Man and the Jealous Wife; Saying No; Land of Fairies, Literally;

and Reverse Rape.



Mark H. Vest for his magical item the Girdle of Hippolyte.



Vinnie & Rahasia Mage Priestess of Ishtar The Priestess of Love for

ReErection spell idea and suggesting a spell that simulates the

Nereid's kiss. For keeping them comments coming on everything I needed

help on. Plus, he suggested wisdom modifiers for the Houri seduction

rules which were implemented. For additions to the sexual knowledge

skill. For the "Adventuring Idea" section and three ideas (Love Boat,

Dog Man Needs A Date, Twins) that appear there.  For the idea and

suggestions for Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love which appears in the

magic-items section.



Owen Winkler for a first draft of the impotence spell that I used.



Xandar for his story "A Barbarian's Boo-Boo" in the story section of

the guide.



Following a strange and perverse discussion on the a RPG discussion

list, the section "Protection of the Worst Kind (for the Male)" was

created based on the following persons' comments: Rod and Kenneth

Nuckols.



Following a role-playing discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the

section "Has Anyone Played a Homosexual Character?" was created based

on the following persons' comments: Andy Trembley, Geoffrey Wyen,

Akira, Scott Spetalnik, Gyorgy Schadt, Russ Fontaine, Andrew Hackard.



Following a role-playing discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the

section "ESSAY: What If A Character Rapes A NPC?" was created based on

the following persons' comments: Felix Leadfingers, Kalindra

Nightstalker aka Michelle Carter, and Paul .



After the first release of the guide, I recieved a message from Rob:

     What would pregnancy do to a theif's skills? What about a mage or

     bard?  We decided that there was no good set rule but that they

     would be greatly affected.

This led to a large conversation on the a RPG about pregnancy. The main

contibution to the conversation was Vicki L. Domansky, Morgaine. Some

major comments, suggestions, and ideas came from John M. Martz. John

"Nightwind" Boelter made some great comments, suggestions, and ideas as

well as Morgan Blackheart of The Chaotic Realm and his wife. Others

were: Bob Smith, Paul Duggan, Paul J. Cummings, Joe, Lord Baylor

Ironsbane, Brian David Phillips, Philippe Goujard the FAQ Dude.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------





                 THE INTERNET CONTROVERSY OF THE GUIDE





     Upon the first completion of this guide (06/01/92), it was offered

to members of a various RPG lists that are found on the INTERNET. Over

50 people responded and received the guide. Some people disliked the

guide and stated their opinions on the discussion list, and others

rebutted their complaints. Below is the argument that took place.





COMMENT



     I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating

these insane articles on how to 'role-play' sex. Now I've tolerated a

lot of crazy things on this list and mostly just delete them if I don't

want to read them (and sometimes post a message about it without trying

to flame anyone). This however is just to dumb and crazy I can't stand

it. I don't want to have to 'delete' it... I mean lets take a closer

look at this for a second. First off I'm sure many of you have had

those silly encounters where your group felt like being goofy and some

characters had sex, and perhaps some of you have had serious encounters

about this sort of thing to go along with the story of the campaign.

But... I think it's really ridiculous that someone might think we could

use a guide on how to role-play sex. Granted sex is very important...

but God man... we don't need freaking articles on 'how to do it'

because if we don't know already we have no business 'doing it' in the

first place.... game or otherwise. I've been playing for several

years... and I've encountered stories and spot adventures of sex....

but I never encountered crazy junk like THIS in all 10 years of playing

until I kept seeing articles like this last one.  Now maybe some of you

out their have a different opinion...  if so...  lets hear it... I'd

like to know WHY we should have guides on HOW to have SEX in RPGs

because I think they are personally a waste of space and just tell me

how much time that person had free on his hands to write such a

ridiculous article in the first place.



Thank you for your time.



                                   --- Your friendly neighborhood

                                       Anti-Paladin

                                       Nomed 'the Accursed'





COMMENT



     I have taken the time to read the aforementioned Guide to RPG sex.

It is your game, play it the way you want to. If you have fun with it,

then more power to you. I find the whole thing infantile and lacking

any merit whatsoever. The whole sophomoric tone led to initially

believe it was a joke. Perhaps it still is.



                                   --- Ristonofer On high ground,

                                       donning the asbestos.





COMMENT



Come on now, the author of the sex guide was making an attempt at

adding something to the game and all of a sudden, out of the woodwork,

comes friggin' Siskel and Ebert of literature. Give the guy a break. I

haven't completely finished reading the "guide" but come now. People

have the right to compile what they like. Ristanofer (sp?): is it truly

infantile to experiment?? I see nothing very wrong with it. I think

that we should give the guy a break. From what I read, he isn't the

only one who helped compile it. There are many others. Are you and the

lady (*I'm sorry but I forgot her logo*) going to hunt all of these

people down and flame them?? I think not. I think that the best thing

y'all can do is mellow out and let someone hang themselves with the

newly created length of rope,  and if they do not, well, wish them

luck.



P.S. that was IMHO, of course. And if you must, flames are welcome.



P.P.S. but I prefer not to see any.



                                   --- DeathWish





COMMENT



     I must agree with Deathwish about the sex guide. This discussion

list is a forum for presenting ideas. Not those ideas that are good or

those ideas that are bad but all ideas. What may be junk to one person

may be a gold mine to another.

     I can see nothing wrong with offering the guide to the net on the

chance that someone may feel it is useful. Obviously someone felt so or

the author would not have had all the collaboration on the project from

fellow list members.

     If you have a problem with someone's work send them private e-mail

before flaming them before the list.



                                   IMHO.

                                   Greg Dillingham





COMMENT



     I, too, have read the guide.  I find it humorous, but of the

"Did you hear the joke about the girl with HUGE ...", etc.. It's REALLY

infantile (although most of the jokes that truly make me laugh are as

well) and I think you're either going to hate it or love it. Me, I'm

afraid I hate it.  Well done, but I think the original idea was... (I'm

gonna duck the flame after this) lame.



                                   Yers,

                                   Greg (Malek)





COMMENT



     As one of the people who made some (minimal) contributions to the

guide, I must say the following. While you may not like some parts of

the guide, find them infantile, etc., I am sure that there is something

in there for every GM. Even if you do not like 99% of it, that last 1%

is going to be something that will make your eyes light up, and start

the wheels of your mind turning. Read it before passing judgement.

'Nuff Said on the subject....happy dice rolling.





COMMENT



     Well I should say read the guide or give it at least a good look

before you start saying things like that! It's not just to tell ya how

to do the thing but it's to add more flavor and much more fun on this

subject. Yes you should really give it a look. It's full of really

nice/funny/wonderful/weird ideas. The developers where all very

surprised of what became of the Guide and I Think many of you will also

be very surprised if you take a look!

     Don't think that because it's related to this subject called Sex

that it's bad stupid or useless. It certainly ain't an 'Escape from

Reality' (or whatever you wanna call it) to have some fake Sex!

(...because you don't get enough in your own life.....aahhhwww What a

pitty....Oooppss I'm sorry) I really wouldn't wanna trade places with

the PC's who were gonna be involved with those rules. Yeah take a look

at those real nasty diseases and neat Kiss Spells! You certainly don't

wanna be subject of most of those!!! The Guide is there just to add

more Fun and fresh ideas to this wonderful game.

     I have to admit that I first thought it was a stupid idea too but

then I saw some nice ideas and joined the developers in making it a

nice ***FREE*** good developed product!



                                   --- Vinnie



     Okay I'll now put on my Protection from fire again and wield my

Frostbrand so come-on with those Flame Throwers! But Don't try to

barbecue me when you didn't gave a good look at the Guide! First look &

read before you start Flaming the Thing (yeah You can't start a fire on

something if you do not really know what it is! It could be either

Alcohol or Water! he he :) And I guess you don't wanna waste your

flamethrower on the water!





COMMENT



Valiant Comrades,

     Regarding the uproar about the Sex Guide, I agree with the

supporters, and to the critics I have to say LIGHTEN UP! If you don't

like the principal of the guide, then simply refrain from using it.

Even the Dungeon Master's Guide isn't written in stone.

     Besides, there is some useful stuff in there. Any GM who can't

find creative uses for an Houri NPC should have his proverbial licence

revoked.

     And, no matter how you view an RPG, it is still ONLY A GAME.  If

someone takes offence to the principal or content therein, perhaps a

different hobby is in order.



                                   --- Hall-ee-mor Dargess





COMMENT



     How come I never got a copy of the sex guide? I asked for one.

Can someone send me a copy please. Sure, it may seem a little silly or

stupid, but it can't hurt. I'll read it then decide if I want to use

it.  There's probably something in it for everybody. What ever happened

to free expression?  Some people are so oppressive!



                                   --- Auston





COMMENT



MiXeD iN tHe hEaD



I believe it!



> I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating

> these  insane articles on how to 'role-play' sex. Now I've

> tolerated a  want to read them (and sometimes post a message about it

> without trying to flame anyone). This however is just to dumb and

> crazy I can't stand it.



You "can't stand it" ?!?  You have some personal problem with other

people's creativity? You may not share others sense of humor and they

may not respect your morals, but this is a public access list. You seem

to indicate it should be censored!  Now step back and realize that

other people, myself included, are mature enough to moderate 'use of

sex' in our own games. Some of these articles have had some good ideas,

while all of them at the very least are intended to be taken light-

heartedly. So have fun with it, or just ignore it.



> adventures of sex.... but I never encountered crazy junk like

> THIS in all 10 years of playing until I kept seeing articles

> like this last...



I dunno who you've been gaming with...  But the college students I have

played with have done much "worse" than this list's "Guide to Sex." Of

course like any other "rules for RPGs" the sex stuff is just a tool.

Suggestions...and most of all a good laugh from some creative gamers

who defiantly have a grip on the real world.



Think about sex-education through role-playing games :)  One must learn

that if his promiscuous paladin doesn't wear his "ring of protection"

(and I don't mean the one on worn on the hands...) that he may pick up

some nasty effects, possibly magical!  Eeeooch!



                With the slightest bow and tip of his hat,

                   the Rogue steps back into the night...





COMMENT



You guys need to grow the fuck up. Go out and buy a Hustler or two and

figure out what you really should play with, besides yourselves. Notice

"elves" in there!  *** CENSORED ***



                                   --- Taipan





COMMENT



     Some time ago I was told of the sex guide by a friend and didn't

believe him. Anyway, I started searching for it on the net and finally

found it. It's GREAT!!!!! The rules are very interesting considerations

to have in mind and add more spice to the campaign (at least mine). You

can use the rules to make the adventure much more interesting and

funny. I also read some people's comments and I have something to tell

them: if there is anything crazy around it's them. Just because

something involves sex doesn't mean the world will tear apart. It's as

if someone had complaints about excessive violence in the game (is

there anyone with this opinion?). We are living in a world where sex is

being taken much worse than the way the guide presents it, it's one of

our defects, so why try to hide it? This work has made me understand

many things I hadn't thought of (really). It's so sarcastic that it

gives food for thought (I'm sorry some people didn't notice). I'll talk

about this work with many people, and once again thanks, you did a cool

job :).



                                   --- M. Santeli





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